The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night Reviews

• I LOVE the no-crying approach!

  
  By A2L9Z1YO60KT7G on 2002-04-07
  FINALLY, a book that makes sense to sleep-deprived people! I always thought there were only three options when it came to sleeping with a baby in the house: 1) You just get lucky and have a natural-born sleeper; 2) You can let them cry it out; or 3) You can just deal with the constant night waking.

  Thanks to Elizabeth Pantley, I realized there is a gentle, loving way to teach my daughter to sleep without a single tear! After a few nights of following our sleep plan, my daughter started sleeping through the night. This was accomplished without ONE single tear!!!!

  Unlike in other books, there is no strict format to follow. You can adapt the ideas to fit your child and at your own pace. No more feeling guilty for not just letting her cry it out and being tired all the time. No more guilt about not following the very rigid programs in some other "sleep books."

  Thanks for all the sweet dreams, Elizabeth!
  
  

• Very good book, but can require alot of patience

  
  By A2MWI68LXEFSQC on 2002-06-16
  This is a very helpful book which includes some of the more useful information included in Wiesbluth and Ferber. I believe her approach can work for most parents with time and patience, though some babies may require months of committed effort.

  Let me preface the rest of this review by stating up front that I personally don't think it's permanently harmful if there are some tears shed (by either Moms or babies :-) in the process of helping babies learn how to sleep through the night... That said, even though that's my perspective I loved Elizabeth Pantley's inclusive, compassionate, unjudgemental tone.

  I really wish this book had been available when my first daughter was a baby. By the time she was 7 months old and still waking up every hour, I was nearly incapacitated with sleep deprivation. My husband was that one who said that things had to change and that we needed to cry it out. I begged for a few weeks to do some research and ended up reading several sleep books including both Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and Ferber's book. I thought both books were very well written and contained some excellent information about babies and sleep. Given what I had learned from these books, I put together my own sleep program that was similar to much of Pantleys except that I let my daughter do some crying when she was first put down to sleep for the night. It took about two weeks but she dropped to 2 wakings a night and started being able to nap on her own. But the best was that either my husband or I could put her to bed with a brief routine and she'd drift off to sleep with a smile on her face and wake up the same way. All in all I considered it a success, except that I just hated that two week period when she would cry when she was put down.

  So when I had my second daughter I was determined to use what I had learned the first time around to avoid some of the bad habits I had practiced with my oldest and get her to sleep with no crying. Things were much better, she was a great napper, but I was still having trouble getting her to sleep without having a nipple in her mouth, and she was getting up every two hours at night. So I bought Elizabeth's Pantley's book.

  As I said earlier, I wish it had been around with my first daughter. I think she culled some of the best information about sleep from some of the other books and I loved her organized approach to finding out what works best for your child. I really wanted to get to the point that we had with our eldest where we could just put her in bed and she would drift off peacefully on her own.

  I faithfully followed the program for a month and I was seeing some progress. However the progress was very slow I found it challenging to work the program with a toddler who was already feeling somewhat abandoned. She has a phased approach to getting a child to sleep on their own where you comfort the baby until they are almost asleep, put them in bed, if they get upset comfort some more and repeat the cycle until they are asleep. At least with my daughter, it was taking a huge amount of time to get her down for naps and bed. Time that my toddler had to be quiet in order to not get the baby worked up. I think I could have stuck it out if I hadn't had a toddler who also needed me, but after a month I threw in the towel. I went back to letting her cry to learn how to get to sleep. The difference between this time and three years ago though was that this time it only took a fairly easy three nights. I think the difference was probably due to the month I had been working the Pantley method.

  In conclusion, there's great information in here for everyone. If you have the time and patience, I believe the program can work. But I found it difficult to work the whole program while simultaneously tending to a toddler.

  Happy sleeping everyone! I wish all of you sleep deprived mommies and daddies who might be reading this sweet dreams and know that whatever you decide to do, take care of yourself, things do get better.
  
  

• Are you comparing sleep books?

  
  By on 2002-10-01
  OK, I admit it. I bought all of them. Here's how they compare:

  Ferber: Advocates crying to sleep with parent soothing on a time schedule. Put your baby in the crib. Come back to pat and say soothing words at 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc. Increase the times every night. Hopefully your baby will stop crying and go to sleep. Lots of scientific discussion about sleep.

  Weissbluth: Advocates crying to sleep without parent soothing. Open-ended time - no limit. You are "leaving him alone to forget the expectation to be picked up." Has a section on children over 7 years old.

  Mindell: Advocates crying to sleep with parent soothing, on a schedule similar to Ferber but with more frequent checks on the baby.

  Pantley: Advocates using gentle techniques to avoid crying. Focus on understanding why baby is waking and fixing problems with routines, new associations, and gradual changes in patterns. Supportive of breastfeeding and co-sleeping as well as crib sleeping and bottle feeding.
  
  

• A Practical (and effective!)Guide for sleep-deprived parents

  
  By A2NWD2R3F613TP on 2003-10-31
  As a mom of three, including a very high needs infant and then twins, I know sleep deprivation! As a Childbirth Educator and Doula, I have a fairly extensive knowledge of typical infant sleep cycles and behavior. But as any sleep deprived parent can attest, you can be so overwhelmed, exhausted, and desperate for sleep that you are tempted to try anything and need some support and guidance. The two most common suggestions parents are given are to let the baby "cry it out" or to "just deal with it and know this too will eventually pass", neither of which validates the feelings of these desperate parents or gives them practical ideas for trying to meet both their needs and those of their baby, and often, makes them feel worse either because they can't stand to let their baby cry nor feel they can continue to go on being exhausted and sleep deprived, they want and need help NOW.

  This book is that help. I bought the No-Cry Sleep Solution when my twin son and daughter were about 9 months old. I was exclusively breastfeeding them and attachment parenting them and did not want to stop that parenting style, but was desperate for sleep. Elizabeth's book was informative, easy to read, easy to follow, and most importantly comprehensive. She does not advocate for any one method of helping babies and parents to sleep, but rather gives weary, exhausted, and overwhelmed parents useful information about what reasonable expectations for sleep are, emphasizes safety, and then gives them easy to use tools they can use to identify sleep issues and many techniques they can choose from to try to bring more sleep to everyone, regardless of sleep arrangements or feeding style! I especially like her sleep logs and analysis tools. Within a few weeks of reading her book we were all sleeping better and I was less stressed as I was able to understand the reasons behind the waking and address them without tears for me or my babies! And yes, we are now all sleeping all night!
  I highly recommend this book if you are looking for ways to gently and lovingly help your baby (and yourself) learn to sleep better!
  
  

• not good for seriously exhausted parents.

  
  By A15NRPH2F99EEE on 2005-01-27
  At 3 months, my son was sleeping 7pm-4am, waking up to feed, then back down until 7-8am. Then the holidays hit, and everything fell apart. Suddenly he was waking up no less than 12-15 times between 10pm-6am. After 10 days of getting less than 4 hours of (interrupted) sleep each night, my husband and I determined we needed to take action to help the poor kid get back on track. We bought three books - Ferber, "Healthy Sleep Habits" and this one.
  
  Of course we wanted to follow the no-cry solution. Who wants to put their child (and themselves) through the misery of cry it out? I truly believed that cry it out was the wrong thing to do and was positive this plan would work. My husband and I committed to the program and agreed we'd follow it "as long as it takes."
  
  It took all of our energy to read the book cover-to-cover, put together a sleep log and then lay out our sleep plan. The author instructs you to have "patience" and to celebrate even the smallest improvements. What she doesn't really acknowledge is that, when serious sleep deprivation has you at each others' throats, weeping hysterically at the drop of a hat and feeling resentful towards your poor innocent baby, "patience" is something nearly impossible to come by.
  
  After 4 weeks of working with our sleep plan - following the guidelines 'round-the-clock - our son was still waking up 6-8 times a night and napping poorly during the day. This was an improvement over waking a dozen times a night, but still he had huge dark circles under his eyes, startled easily, cried at nothing. He was miserable. We all were.
  
  Despite the 300 other reviews here that say basically "if you really love your baby, you won't let him cry it out" ... I LOVE MY BABY. And we finally decided to let him cry it out. And now? Now I have a happy, well-rested baby. And we have our sanity back.
  
  This book has some good ideas. I'm sure that if my son were waking up only 2-4 times a night, I would have been able to stick with the plan as long as necessary to make it work. But when my child was waking up every 45-60 minutes all night long, night after night, I finally decided that - for our entire family's sake - we required a more radical, doctor-approved intervention.
  
  My point in writing this review is not to defend my actions. It's to offer a different viewpoint amongst the crowd and to bear witness for other exhausted parents ... if this doesn't work for you, YOU ARE NOT A BAD OR SELFISH PARENT. Choose the method that fits your situation and follow it to the letter. And congratulations for wanting to help your baby get the restorative sleep he or she desperately needs.
  
  
• This book is truly in tune with both babies and parents....
  By A1OHU05KLV2XQ7 on 2002-04-30
  I am the mother of 4 children, including 21 month old twins. Before I started using the No Cry Sleep Solution methods, one or both of my babies was awake every hour all night long. I practice AP (Attachment Parenting) as much as I can, but I could not be an loving, understanding parent to any of my 4 children on the amount of sleep that I was getting. In addition, my babies were often fussy and were obviously overtired. Pantley's methods were perfect for an AP parent like me who wanted to continue to co-sleep with and breastfeed my babies, but who also desperately needed more sleep. I developed a sleep plan based on some of the ideas in the No Cry Sleep Solution, and slowly but surely both babies began to sleep longer stretches, until they eventually started sleeping through the night. I still get fabulous early morning sleep/cuddles with the babies, and I can be a much more effective and loving parent during the day! We are all happier now. You can read more about the test mommies on Pantley's No Cry web-site...

  I just read the critical review of The No Cry Sleep Solution written by kelly-lcce and I wanted to discuss the points that she brought up from the perspective of an AP parent who has actually used the methods in the book.

  1. She says that Pantley's recommendation to use a "lovey" is wrong because it means parents are trying to force their children into an attachment to an object instead of a person. But Pantley clearly states in the book that a lovey doesn't take your place, instead it helps the baby feel safe when you can't be with him (no parent can be with their child 24 hours a day). One of my twins uses a lovey (none of the others did/do), and we have wonderfully close relationship.

  2. kelly-lcce states that "none of the benefits of co-sleeping were covered at all" and that there is very little on helping a baby/child co-sleep soundly. This is simply not true. Pantley herself co-slept with each of her 4 children and she even recommends a book on Attachment Parenting to help parents understand this choice. And there is an entire section on helping co-sleeping babies to sleep better (p. 130-136). I have co-slept with all of my four children (and still do when they need me, or I need them!), and I felt that Pantley's book was very supportive of parents who make this choice.

  3. kelly-lcce says there is no value judgment on breast vs. bottle, and that Pantley should have said that the advantages of breastmilk outweigh the disadvantages. It is true that Pantley does not "judge" those who bottlefeed (by choice or necessity) - I think that is one of the strongest selling points of this book - the author is accepting of numerous different choices that parents and babies make. However it is also very clear that Pantley breastfed all four of her children well into their toddler years - this fact speaks clearly of her thoughts on the subject.

  4. kelly-lcce says that Pantley's use of the concept of "flexible schedule" is very similar to that presented in BabyWise. I just looked up "flexible" in the index of the book and immediately found several paragraphs on how important it is to listen to baby's cues. Pantley's goal is to help parents "Follow a Flexible Yet Precitable Daytime Routine" (again the subject heading of a section). There is even a quote from me in the book about how, with my twins, I have a vague structure to my day, but I pay close attention to the each baby's unique cues to tell me when they are tired (p. 108).

  5. kelly-lcce says that holding a sleeping baby is one of her favorite things of being a parent, and that Pantley's book strongly discourages this. Pantley says "There is nothing- absolutely nothing - as endearing and wonderful as a newborn baby falling asleep in your arms or at your breast" (p. 70). She says that in a perfect world where mothers had no other responsibilities, it would be ideal for babies to always fall asleep in their mother's arms. But since our world is not perfect, it is a good idea to gently and slowly help baby learn to go to sleep in his bed. Pantley says that like her, you may choose sometimes (or often) to let baby sleep in your arms and, "when you don't put him down...hold him with your heart, too, and relish every gurgle, every flutter, every sighing breath. Trust me when I say, "you will miss this (p.72-73)." She's right!

  6. kelly-lcce didn't like the section on getting a baby to go to sleep in the crib without mom or dad, because it seemed like Ferber sleep training to her, "just minus the crying". Well isn't that the point? To acheive better sleep for baby and parents gently, without crying? This particular section is obviously not meant for co-sleeping families who disapprove of cribs, but in typical Pantley fasion, is accepting of the variety of choices that good parents make.

  7. kelly-lcce felt like the first half of the book where the author discusses the needs of babies is disregarded in the second "solution" half of the book, and that this is just a sleep training book. I'm not quite sure in what ways Kelly-Icce thinks that babies' needs are being disregarded, because the most important strain throughout the book is that parents need to be in tune with their baby's needs, AS WELL AS their own needs. This book is not meant for parents who are happy with their sleep situation as it exists. In the beginning of the book Pantley asks the reader to consider whether or not her baby's sleep habits are actually problematic and disruptive of family life, or if it is simply the "sleep-through-the-night" expectations that were troublesome. Clearly kelly-lcce did not respond well to this book because she feels her chidren's sleep habits are not disruptive of her family life. For others, like me with my night-waking twins and two other young children, the No Cry Sleep Solution was the perfect way to fine-tune my needs with those of my babies, making us all much happier.
  
  

• I strongly recommend this book!
  By A3T7RAO3MV0720 on 2002-11-17
  I love Elizabeth Pantley's book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"! I recommend it to many of my patients because it is kind, flexible, and very effective.

  Of course, I am greatly appreciate the comments written praising my work, however, my approach is really designed to help soothe babies and help them sleep during the first 3-4 months of life. Elizabeth's wonderful book is my favorite for wakeful infants and children over 4 months.
  
  

• Practical advice that's sensitive to baby's needs
  By on 2002-11-16
  A refreshing alternative to the "quick fix" and damaging cry-it-out approaches that have been so popular of late. This is the first book I've read (and believe me, I've read a shelfload in the effort to get some shuteye) that works *with* a baby's natural and necessary tendencies instead of against them. Pantley offers real-life solutions, with real-life feedback from real-life moms. She acknowledges the uniqueness of all babies as well as the patterns that are typical to most, and offers a menu of possible things to try. This is the book for the informed parent who wants to know *why* her baby is having trouble sleeping, wants to know how to help her without damaging the parental/child bond, knows there are no ultra-fast magic methods -- and won't fall for the checkout-lane "get your baby to sleep in five easy (cruel and heart-wrenching) steps." This is important stuff and can't be dealt with in 50 pages...so it's well worth your time to read the parts of the book that are relevant to your situation. Highly recommended...by a (now) well rested family!
  
  
• Every new parent NEEDS this book!
  By A2CEVP6AITYLSI on 2002-09-28
  Thank you from the bottom of my heart! That's what I'd tell Ms. Pantley, if I met her. This book is a gem. Within a month of reading it - and putting her suggestions into use - our son went from 20-30 minutes of sleep at a time to sleeping a solid 8 hours. Not even a week of chicken pox and cutting five teeth spoils his sleep now!

  The techniques are gentle, realistic and loving. I know there are millions of mums like me who are (were!) desperate for sleep but simply refuse to give in the inhumane idea of leaving their baby to cry it out. All of you - get this sent to you by rush delivery, read it from cover to cover, and then read it again (it's written in such a friendly way, you'll want to anyway). Then put it into practice.

  Incidentally, I gave my copy to my doctor. After she had read it, she called me to let me know that it is the best book about helping a baby sleep that she had read. She now recommends it to all her new parents. So, if my recommendation isn't enough to sway you, that should be!
  
  

• It worked for me!
  By on 2002-09-04
  If I would have written this review after my first 10 days following the plan it would have been very different. This program is not a quick-fix solution to sleep. But I don't think there is such a thing. Even my friends who do the crying route take a long time to get to all-night sleep. It took 30 days for me, but my baby went from waking up every hour to breastfeed to sleeping 10 hours all night long. I am proud of myself for not giving in to the advice to let him cry to sleep. He's a happy sleeper now, and so am I. I like the format of this book. It's easy to read and follow - a big plus when you are so sleep deprived that you can hardly read a label let alone a book! Some of the other sleep books are very complicated and require too much thought. This one has a menu of ideas that are clearly explained. You can choose as many as apply to you. I am extremely happy with our results from this book. I suggest you look it over and read the excerpts to get a feel for it. I felt connected to the author, her writing style makes it seem like she really cares about you and your baby. And the solutions are practical and they really work.
  
  
• The best sleep book I have ever read!
  By A3HOVYW1BTJBLR on 2002-10-14
  And I've read them all! I have three boys; age 6, 4 1/2 and 13 months. I could never let any of them cry it out and I spent many hours worrying over whether or not I was "ruining" them by not "making them learn to sleep on their own".

  This book is one of the very few (Dr. Sears books are the other ones) that helped me to feel validated in my longing to just be a mom 24 hours a day/7 days a week, not just when it was convenient for me or "time" to be. The fact that Mrs. Pantley has done some work with Dr. Sears helped me to know that "the no-cry sleep solution" book was going to be one filled with loving, gentle advice. And, boy was it ever! I really can't recommend it highly enough!
  
  I AM a little tired, and my 13 month old is not the best sleeper, so I am trying some of the solutions in this book. I am glad, however, that I am not feeling the pressure to let my baby cry it out that I felt when I read several other books on the subject. Not many of them applaud the philosophies of co-sleeping or nursing long term. I know in my heart that co-sleeping and nursing is not a "bad habit" but society dumps that pressure on moms not to do it. This book is very encouraging for moms who DO nurse during the night and let their babies sleep with them. What a breath of fresh air!

  This is the only book I have read so far that offers useful but gentle advice and gives the parent "permission" to not let their child cry it out all night.

  Not only books I have read, but grandparents, other Christian friends, even my pediatrician's office staff, all seem to give me the "guilts" when I admit I am not physically able to let my kids cry it out. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. And I know that "this too shall pass" and I will miss those magical middle of the night hours when I can just breathe in his baby smells and watch him nurse in his sleep. This book also helped me to put that into perspective.
  
  I especially loved the comparison to Mrs. Pantley's sweet son and the other baby at the ballpark. I will treasure that anecdote always because it puts into words so eloquently what I have felt in my heart when I see a "well-behaved" baby who's parents are practicing "detachment parenting" and I feel compelled to compare how our children act.

  I will be reading all of Elizabeth Pantley's books to help me be a better mommy to my precious children.
  
  

• Sent from above
  By ALTDFRV466HTO on 2003-02-18
  When I found this book my 9 month old was waking up every 90 minutes all night long, and taking several cat naps a day. Sleep deprived can't begin to describe the desperation I was feeling. And yet I refused to abandon my baby to cry it out alone. This book was truly and answer to a prayer. It gives simple, and practical solutions in a format that is easy to read no matter how little sleep you're getting. Elizabeth Pantley's strategies are a wonderful and loving alternative to the host of "Cry it out" advice you've received and rejected. The key for me was patience and persistence. This is not an immediate fix, but a light at the end of the tunnel.
  
  
• It really works!
  By on 2002-11-11
  Finally, a book that really can help the sleep-deprived parents out there teach their babies to sleep better without leaving them alone to cry themselvs to sleep. There is a better way! This book is a detailed, informaive text on normal sleep and baby sleep patterns. It is non-judgemental regarding breast/bottle feeding and other decisions that parents may make. It offers detailed information on developing a customized sleep plan for your own family and each individual baby.

  We had tried letting our daughter "cry it out" before with terrible results. Not only didn't it work, but she got so stressed out by it that she suddenly refused to nurse anymore. Needless to say, we were never going to do that to her (or any other child of ours) again. This book offers an alternative. No longer must we choose between sleep-deprivation and "crying it out." Elizabeth's approach is based on a gradual relearning of "sleep-associations" so that your baby will learn to get herself back to sleep without your help, but emphasizes that the baby can learn at her own pace!

  For all those desperate parents out there, please give this book a try. You will be sleeping before you know it!
  
  

• Useless fluff
  By A7JLPBA5THW7D on 2002-12-21
  My MIL sent us this book when our 4-month-old continued to wake every 1.5-2 hours and wouldn't sleep in his crib. I appreciate her thoughtfulness, but we found this book completely useless. I could have achieved the same results by doing absolutely nothing.

  Maybe it's just my personality type but I like my advice backed up with scientific facts and some actual research. This book was way too touchy-feely for me. After we read it, neither my husband nor I could name more than a handful of concrete things to do, and these were so minor and silly that they made no difference. When you have a child who hates to go to sleep and cries when you try to get him to sleep and then cries when he's over-tired, how exactly do you reach that "no-cry" period? We tried a lovey, like she suggests. Made no difference. We tried slowly taking away his pacifier. No difference. We tried not letting him fall asleep on the breast. Still waking up constantly, if not more often. We tried sleep logs. Great, now we have a bunch of pieces of paper we can turn into paper airplanes to throw at each other when we're up at 4am.
  
  

• This is the book for you if....
  By on 2002-09-07
  ...if you are "helping" your baby back to sleep every time he wakes up by breastfeeding, rocking or giving him a bottle or pacifier.

  ...if you would love some more sleep yourself but you won't do it if the process makes your baby cry.

  ...if you believe your baby needs you and wouldn't understand if you just left at night and didn't come back til morning.

  ...if you rush to your baby whenever he or she makes a whimper.

  ...if everyone else (even your doctor) is suggesting you let your baby cry it out, but you know in your heart you could never do it.

  ...if you are soooo tired, but still believe your baby is very much worth the extra effort you give.

  ...if you can't bear to hear your baby cry during the day or during the night.

  ... if you think that your baby is the most precious little thing on the face of the earth.
  
  

• Perfect for an AP mother
  By on 2002-09-26
  I practice attachment parenting: I breastfeed and my baby sleeps with me. I am very happy with my choice to parent her this way - I know it is the best way. One side affect though has been that she still was waking up many times during the night. Everyone has advice for you and most of it is that you caused it yourself and if you would just put her in a crib and let her cry everything would be fine. Well that wouldn't be fine with me! I would have rather continued with night waking for a year than make my baby cry. Happily, I discovered The No Cry Sleep Solution. I find that the ideas speak right to my heart. They are gentle and loving and allow me to work on our sleeping one step at a time. We've already cut our number waking up by half and I am very happy. If you are a tired AP mother, then this book will be perfect for you.
  
  
• This author understands
  By A3824D1A5QIG7D on 2002-10-22
  If people think you are foolish because you won't let your baby cry to sleep. If they make you feel like it's your own fault that your baby isn't sleeping. Then this is the book for you. This author gives you a written hug and reassurance that its perfectly ok to love your baby so much that you can't make him cry. She gives you so many gentle ideas for encouraging sleep that don't go against what you believe. People like us are willing to take a little more time to teach our babies to sleep. We don't need or want a 3 day miracle if it means letting our babies cry to the point of hysterics. I truly love this book as much for the solutions as for the reassuring tone and compassion.
  
  
• changed my life immediately
  By A3QMTVS4Q2C5XV on 2003-03-28
  I just wanted to report that this book changed my life immediately.
  This is a very practical, sensitive book written by a mom who wanted to find a sleep solution that didn't involve varying degrees and timing of crying. I couldn't bare my baby's crying and was getting up 4-5 times a night for 3.5 months. When it occurred to me that I couldn't go back to work like this, desperate, I read web sites and then this book. In 24 hours (yes, one day!) my baby learned to sleep 5-6 hours and then again 2-4 hours. I am dreaming again and have less back pain too.

  I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK for expecting and new parents (and grandparents nagging at you to let the little ones 'cry it out'). Here are a few highlights:

  1. keeping babies up later so they get worn out won't lead to longer sleep... it will mean shorter stints since they get tensed up and can't relax well enough to go deep
  2. calm down your home at night (sadly and for a little while at least, no more happy baby time for us with visitors and block meetings, baby brigade, etc.)
  3. infant babies need 2-3 at least one hour naps per day (my baby slept periodically 30 minutes whenever)
  4. babies need very regular schedules (oops, every day was different at our house as I was playing and erranding alot for this break without being at my office)
  5. they need absolute darkness to sleep at night (we nixed the night light and noticed our neighbor's porch light came right into the nursery)
  6. they don't necessarily need to feed if they awaken and can be patted to sleep (no wonder my kid's in the 90th percentile for weight)

  Anyhow, we follow the tricks in the book exactly, all of them but putting a 'lovey' in my bra (good grief), and the method immediately worked for us. Of course it won't work for everyone and all babies are unique. But, if you're going crazy like I was, I recommend it.
  
  

• This is no Sleep Solution
  By AB8G6XWEY3YFQ on 2004-01-26
  This book promises a new look at the problem of getting your child to sleep through the night - without crying. However, there's nothing new here. All you get with this book is the same old "follow a routine, put your child down for regular naps" deal. There are no guidelines for HOW to put your child down for regular naps - you're just supposed to do it. Somehow your child just isn't going to cry. You know, I'm sure this argument holds water: if your child sleeps well during the day, she'll sleep better at night. I'm not arguing with that, it's just that I've heard it before. This book is a waste of money, and promises solutions that it just doesn't deliver. Here, let me save you $10: follow a regular schedule, ease your child into naptime and bedtime by reading to her, or taking her for a walk, or anything to get her sleepy and used to the idea that it's almost time to sleep. There. Feel better?
  
  
• Read the excerpts and decide for yourself
  By A2JTB847YQSAP4 on 2002-09-26
  If you press on the book cover and read the Intro pages excerpts you can read the authors story and get a good feel for the book. When I read it I cried - it was like she was talking to me. I have found the book to be a good fit for us. It hasn't helped my baby 'sleep through the night' just yet - but we are doing much better and it gives the only solutions I am comfortable with. Sleep isn't the most important thing to me - my baby's health and well being is. Ten years from now it won't matter that I'm a little tired today, what will matter is what kind of person I raise my baby to be. This book fits my beliefs perfectly. Not a quick-fix but a compassionate approach to a temporary problem.
  
  
• A Wonderful Panacea for Tired (but Loving) Parents
  By A1FL71TB2FNB68 on 2002-11-04
  Ask any parent what the biggest challenge is in raising babies and young children, and most will say, "getting enough sleep." The most common question of new parents is, "is he or she a good baby," which actually means, "is he or she sleeping well?" As the mother of some very good children, who were not good sleepers, I can certainly vouch for the pain of sleeplessness and the frustration of the equation of 'good' with 'sleep.' With my first child, I sought help wherever it was offered, and visited two separate sleep clinics, specialists, took a wide range of advice offered by other parents and read every book on the subject I could find. They were all united in their advice - the only thing which works is to let your child "cry it out." There were a wide variety of techniques for doing this - with differing intervals between comfort sessions ranging from letting them cry all night to going into to pat or talk to your child every few minutes, slowly increasing the interval, but they all amounted to allowing your child to cry. In my desperation I tried "controlled crying" as it was commonly called, and partly because neither my husband nor I had the stomach for it, and partly because my son was rather stubborn, it didn't work at all for me. In fact it made things considerably worse. The only thing which did work was a lot of reassurance (to undo the damage of my aborted experiments) and time, since my now 5 year old son is sleeping through the night almost every night, and even puts himself to bed.

  I didn't know about Elizabeth Pantley. Her book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution is the only book I've come across which doesn't advocate crying as a solution to sleep problems, and which still provides a set of potential and practical attachment based solutions to help ease your child into better sleeping patterns. Most of the ideas are based on both Pantley's considerable experience as a parent, a lot of research and testing with other parents, and a hefty dose of common sense. None of her ideas are meant to work overnight (and believe me, neither does 'crying') - they are long term and permanent solutions with enough flexibility to handle things like illness, teething and vaccination. None of the suggestions offered in this book will traumatise you or your child, and if you are consistent and persistent, your chances of success are high.

  The book has chapters on safety, including SIDs precautions, general sleeping precautions, precautions for cradles and ribs and for co-sleeping. There are chapters containing basic sleep facts, creating sleep logs and working out your own particular patterns of sleeplessness, along with a range of suggested solutions for newborns and older babies. The solutions chapter is the heart of the book, offering a range of different techniques such as ensuring that you put your baby to sleep, sleepy but not sleeping, in his or her own bed (sounds obvious but I suspect this was the heart of my problem, since my children both fell asleep at the breast, in their slings, against me and in my bed most of the time). Other ideas include learning to understand the difference between sleep noises and cries, helping your children distinguish day from night, having appropriate naps, increasing bedtime comfort and most importantly, having realistic expectations.

  For older children, solutions include feeding more during the day, sticking to really clear, predictable routine, establishing an early bedtime and perhaps most importantly, techniques for helping your child learn how to fall asleep without your help (but also without hysteria), including providing sleep cues, changing sleep associations and gradually removing your assistance. All of Pantley's ideas are reasonable and her reasoning doesn't conflict with the basis for the "crying" school - it is just a lot slower, a lot more loving and a lot more likely to succeed (since crying is so traumatic for most children that it makes them come to associate their beds with fear rather than comfort, at least that has been my experience). The key to everything in this book is to start off by observing and charting your current situation and then planning where you want to be (creating a personal sleep plan) and how you will get there. There are a range of templates and charts that you can use to make your plans, along with plenty of moral support, anecdotal evidence from Pantley's series of test mothers and personal advice on coping and improving your own sleep.

  The No-Cry Sleep Solution is a wonderful book for helping your child gently and calmly learn to sleep through the night. It doesn't promise quick fixes or miracles, nor does it provide a single didactic methodology, but if, like me, you are an attachment oriented parent who doesn't want to put your child through the crying ordeal (or who has tried and failed), you will rejoice at finding a range of options for improving your child's sleep. Of course the best solution of all is to do the "right" things from the start and avoid the sleep problems altogether - in this case, buy the book when pregnant (or as a fantastic gift for a pregnant friend or new parent), and make sure that you create the right associations and patterns from the start.
  
  

• No-Cry Doesn't Work For Everyone
  By A3EI013D39PC1T on 2006-02-05
  I agree with the reviewer who thought Ms. Pantley's approach was too one-sided. I think her supporter Sears even suggests somewhere that if you don't go to your child when they cry,you won't be there for them at other important times, which is nonsense. I feel this is part of the mindset of this book--that crying it out can only be cruel. As another negative reviewer noted, crying it out doesn't mean you NEVER go to your child, but that you and your child learn when he/she really needs you and when he/she can get themselves to sleep on their own.
  
  Using Weisbluth's approach (see book title below), we have a child who sleeps very well (better than any of her playgroup peers, pretty much), can put herself back to sleep at night and during a nap, and who goes eagerly and affectionately to bed.
  
  My wife and I worked the no-cry system with great dedication for one week (Ms. Pantley would probably say one week is not dedication). Consider if you will, that we are both employed, and you will understand why, after one week in which my wife was getting TWO hours sleep per night, I was getting FOUR, and baby was waking up every hour on the hour (because, as another book suggests, some babies catch on that you'll come to prevent crying, so they cry and cry and cry), we decided that, idealistic as the Pantley no-cry system may be, it was wrecking our household.
  
  We instituted crying it out the next day. Baby cried through an entire nap. It was painful, yes. Next nap, she cried just twenty minutes, then slept. That night, she cried twenty minutes again, then slept 12 HOURS STRAIGHT! She was soooo tired, the poor child. The crying periods became briefer and briefer, and were essentially gone within two weeks. This was around 5/6 months. She is now 28 months, sleeps great, wakes up happy most of the time, never cries when we put her down (although two months ago, a babysitter went to her when she seemed unhappy about going to bed, and we had to retrain her for a couple of days, which was easy), and often spends happy time alone in her bed, just babbling to herself about her day or reading and playing.
  
  We have had to use the Cry It Out Method a couple of times again when on vacation, and it always works. The next day, no crying, and a happy baby. All I can say, is Ms. Pantley's method may not work for everyone, or it may not be practical for families where both parents work. I think you can take some principles from any method including hers, but you have to tailor things to your family, your child, your own parenting style. We found Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child worked for us, and also got us ready for developmental changes in our daughter's sleep habits.
  
  Last Comment: Before we cried it out, our daughter was going through a prolonged bout of being "hyper" at certain times of day. This turned out to be a symptom of being overtired, and abated as soon as we cried it out and she had caught up. Her real personality is spunky, but not so hyper. If we'd kept up with the weeks and weeks needed for Ms. Pantley's system, I doubt any of us would have reached the end in one piece. And THAT would have been traumatic.
  
  
• ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
  By A2MI8AH5CYVPNQ on 2002-09-25
  Pantley understands babies. She understands Mommies. And she understands sleep. This book is respectful to your sleep needs but also to your emotional needs. Pantley has four children and she understands how difficult it is to hear your baby cry, but she is realistic too since she knows how painful it is to be awakened every hour all night long so that you are seriously sleep deprived. Her book has hundreds of practical ideas. You choose those that fit your family. Some are very simple like using a bedtime routine or a warm bath before bed. Some are more complex like understanding sleep cycles and using a gentle removal to teach your baby not to have to breastfeed to sleep. Read this book, customize the ideas and you and your baby will be sleeping better. I recommend this book wholeheartedly to every one I know who has a baby or who is pregnant.
  
  
• If you find Ferber, Weissbluth, and Ezzo sadistic...
  By A1F0BYNQA1TQ7B on 2003-02-01
  ...then this is the book for you! This book, literally, changed our lives.

  The techniques for helping your baby fall asleep and stay asleep are gentle and done at the babies pace...and they work! I was able to nightwean my 16 month old son with no crying whatsoever. Yes, it took some time (a couple of weeks, compared to a couple of days that the other books promise), but the little bit of patience needed is a small sacrifice.

  We are a cosleeping, extended breastfeeding, attachment parenting family, and we were completely comfortable using the suggestions in this book. The great thing too is that if you are a bottle feeding, crib sleeping kind of family, there are just as many helpful hints tailored for you!

  The only reason I didn't give it all 5 stars, is because a good chunk of the book talks about keeping regular logs during the night on feedings and wakings. In my sleep deprived state this was impractical and impossible...not to mention, I feel, unnecessary. The main point of doing this is so that you don't get discouraged; so that you're able to see the progress you are making on paper (because it can sometimes feel like you're taking one step forward and two steps back). Some parents may need that extra motivation, I just don't see how it would be possible to keep track of when your child wakes, how long they feed, when the fall back asleep, etc. in the middle of the night.

  Other than this MINOR complaint, this book is a Godsend!
  
  

• every parent should read this
  By on 2002-09-26
  I can't believe I only came across this book by chance -- what a treasure! This book is very effective and fills a huge need for parents who want sleep but are not happy with the cry it out approach. After a month of following this book's advice, I've gotten my 15-month old to sleep for a 6-hour stretch for the first time in his life, and I am optimistic that we will continue to see progress. Pantley demonstrates that there is a real alternative to the cry it out methods -- it may require more patience in the beginning, but I know from a lot of parents who've followed the cry it out method that it can be a continual struggle to maintain the sleep habits they've gotten through that method. I'm certain it can't be good for a baby to be left crying for hours at a time or even for short periods before every nap, and this book shows that it's not necessary.

  I've seen other books that recommend gently encouraging your baby to fall asleep on his/her own in the crib, but only Pantley gives you the extremely detailed and concrete advice that can help you accomplish this with a baby who seems like s/he will never tolerate being put down while awake.
  
  

• This is the ONLY sleep book you need to read!
  By A13MH1KO2JZLCM on 2002-04-09
  How many people have asked you 'Is your baby sleeping through the night'? and then followed it up with 'Well, you just have to let them cry-it-out (CIO).' I heard this constantly and even a person just suggesting that I let my little baby CIO made my heart hurt. I knew I would never, could never, do this to my child. And you know what, I didn't have to...and neither do you.
  When you sit down to read this book, Elizabeth becomes your friend instantly. It's a page turner! Her writing style feels like a big hug from a mom who has been exactly where you are right now. And the best part. Not only do feel like you are commiserating with another mother in the same boat as you, you see that the there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Elizabeth will get you to that light. There are many books out there that try to fit all babies into one mold by having strict schedules and make parents feel like they need to be in control. As you have learned with your child(ren) this simply is not true. Not all babies respond to the same methods. Elizabeth presents methods for all types of families and their parenting styles. She respects you. Whether you are breast or bottle feeding, have a crib sleeper or you co-sleep, or if you're just trying to get rid of the pacifier, it doesn't matter; there are options for everyone - and they WORK. When I read this book my baby was waking so often I couldn't even count. I was at my rope's end. Elizabeth has you log night wakings, and when I counted 13 (not a typo) times in a 12-hour period, I knew I needed some serious help. With Elizabeth's method's, we got down to 3 wakings, then 2, which is fine with me as a nursing mother. Trust your instincts. Following your baby's cues will build a wonderful trust between you and your child. Parenting is a 24-hour job. A baby does not understand why, just because it's 3 a.m., he can't receive the love and attention that he gets from you at 3 p.m. A clock should not dictate when we give our all to our children. Show your child that he can trust that you are there for him, and that he can be helped to go to sleep in a warm, loving, safe environment, without being left to cry or wondering why he can't be with you. Elizabeth's book will help you do just this.
  
  
• This book is amazing
  By A2VG7IIMSJPHNL on 2002-09-18
  This book saved my world!! My daughter was waking up every 45 minutes for months. She nursed all night long. I was a walking zombie!! Nothing was working and everyone insisted I had to let her cry. I finally did and she vomited all over her crib. I vowed I would never do that again. I finally found out about this book. I did a couple of things and she went to every 3 hours within a week. I didn't feel like I could really structure my days around her naps and I had a hard time with the bedtime ritual. Finally I realized I had to try. I followed everything she said and it has changed our lives. We are more organized. She naps like a champ!! 2 hours everyday. It used to be whenever she fell alseep in the car and would sleep max 45 minutes. She also is up to 8 hours straight at night!!! She sleeps 11 1/2 total, so only 1 wake up. She has recovered quickly when we travel. She is now 14 months old and it really didn't take long. I can't say enough about this book. You must trust it and do exactly what she says! It will work I promise!! I tell everyone I can about this so no child endures the traumatic crying sessions. This book proves they don't have to.
  
  
• TEN stars! It really works � sleep with no tears!
  By on 2002-05-26
  I was desperate and this book saved me. My 15 month old was waking up every 2 hours every single night. He wouldn't nap more than 20 minutes. I was seriously sleep-deprived.

  I let my first baby cry it out 4 years ago - it took 5 weeks and she would cry for hours at a time, and I cried too. And then we had to do it over again after teething or a cold or a vacation. I still regret it, but back then I didn't think I had any other choice. But now there was no way I would go through that torture again, so I suffered through 15 months of sleeplessness instead.

  A friend gave me The No Cry Sleep Solution 4 weeks ago and we have made incredible progress! My baby falls asleep so much easier and wakes up only once. He takes a 2-hour nap, too.

  I love that this book doesn't assume that all babies - or all parents - are alike. It gives a tremendous variety of ideas to choose from. It covers every possible aspect of baby sleep - from routines, to habits, to the sleep environment, to creating sleep-cues, to reading your baby's sleepy signals.

  The chapter on Basic Sleep Facts taught me all I needed to know about my baby's sleep problems, without being overly long or technical. I like that the reader creates a personal sleep plan from the many ideas in the book, and I like that the author doesn't dictate one right way. You can be a co-sleeper or a crib-sleeper, a breastfeeder or a bottle feeder, use a pacifier or not - she respects all your choices and gives you ideas to work within the range of your own comfort zone.

  The tone is compassionate and caring, like reading a letter from a kind and wise friend. I plan to give this book as a shower gift and new baby gift every chance I get. No one should suffer through sleepless nights OR crying it out - this book is the absolute answer to gentle baby sleep -- and better mommy and daddy sleep, too. (There's even a chapter on how adults can get better sleep too.)

  If your baby is keeping you up at night this is the smartest [money] you could ever spend. ZZZZZZZZ
  
  

• Finally...a gentle approach to helping a child sleep
  By A1J2ILZ8BUD2C8 on 2004-01-14
  There are very few books on the market that will help a parent with their children's sleep habits in gentle way. This book is one of the few books that really focuses on a gentle approach to sleep issues.

  Parents need to understand that by following a gentle approach to help their child sleep...that it may take more time then some other methods which are hard on the child.

  The No Cry Sleep Solution addresses many of the issues that parents are faced with when trying to get their child to sleep. The main difference is that Elizabeth Pantley understands the importance of the parents role during nighttime hours. The author does not expect children to learn to sleep on their own through tough love but instead through a variety of calm and gentle steps. Through this approach a child is helped to fall asleep on their own and to sleep through the night...but can still feel they are able to rely on the parent to be there to meet any needs they have.

  The approach outlined in the book probably will not have your child sleeping through the night in their own crib within a day or so...but at the same time your child will not be crying and screaming as suggested by authors of other night sleeping books.

  This is the perfect book for a parent who would like help dealing with their child's sleep issues but is not willing to abandon their child during the night hours, for a parent who will not and does not want their child to cry themselves to sleep, a parent who is willing to be patient with the progress of their child, and a parent who is willing to be patient with their child as they learn to sleep better.

  This is an excellent book!
  
  

• Might Not Be Right For An Attachment Parenting Family
  By A4FFK8M1P0Y9 on 2002-04-26
  I bought this book because I'm one of those moms who really hasn't slept in years due to children who wake very frequently. I'm very interested in a sleep solution that will help my children sleep. We use "Attachment Parenting" and were told that this book was very AP oriented.

  This book was not as helpful as I had hoped, and was not as AP oriented as I would have liked. My major concerns are these:

  1. The author gives very strong encouragement to introduce a "lovey" to get baby attached to, so baby can be comforted by lovey instead of mom. She even goes so far as to recommend putting the lovey *between* mom and baby when nursing, cuddling etc. [very symbolic IMO!] This really bugs me... I feel so strongly that our babies should be learning to attach to people, not things. I am truly, deeply uncomfortable with the idea of trying to force my child to become attached to an object so that he will be comforted by that object instead of me.

  2. While not anti-family bed, she does basically say in the second half of the book that if you are co-sleeping you will have more nightwaking. She has a whole section on "transitioning your baby to a crib" and comparatively little on helping a baby/child cosleep and sleep soundly. She also says something to the effect that you can cosleep as long as you want, but that you should be prepared to endure more night waking if you do cosleep. None of the benefits of cosleeping were covered at all. I really kind of felt like cosleeping was being blamed as a cause of night waking and I don't really think that's true - I've seen too much anecdotal evidence of my cosleeping friends who have children who sleep 10 or 12 hours straight right there beside them.

  3. Similarly, breastfeeding is sort of pointed to as a cause of night waking. Yes, a breastfed baby does wake more often to eat. But this book places _no_ value judgement on breast or bottle feeding - never once does she even note "though breastfed babies wake more often to eat, many mothers feel that the benefits of breastmilk over formula outweigh this factor by a huge measure" or anything like that. A new mom reading this book could *easily* think "well, I should just switch to a bottle and then I'll get some sleep!". I'm so uncomfortable with that. [And there are plenty of breastfed babies that DO sleep through the night after they are through the newborn stage].

  4. There is very strong encouragement to put baby on a schedule. She emphasizes a "flexible schedule". I really hate to point this out, but I've read _Babywise_ several times ["know thy enemy"] and Ezzo's language is almost identical - he emphasizes what he calls a "flexible schedule". In fact, several things in this book echoed Babywise to my brain, which may account for my discomfort [justified or not justified!]. Not that I'm totally against a schedule, but as an AP parent I really think it is more useful to watch baby's cues...

  5. There is strong discouragement from holding a sleeping baby. Pantley says this is undoubtedly a cause of nightwaking and should only be done very rarely if at all [for "special moments", but not as a routine]. I have enjoyed holding both my children as they slept for naps - its one of my favorite things - and if I have to give that up to get them to sleep at night, then I guess I just won't be sleeping until they are off to college or whatever. In my mind, this book absolutely & strongly contradicts the AP tradition of carrying baby in a soft carrier much of the time.

  6. I also didn't like the whole section on training your baby to go back to sleep in the crib without you. It outlines a bunch of steps that begins with "pick him up", later you stop picking up and just place a hand on his back, then you just speak to him, then you speak to him from outside the door but don't go in, etc. This sounds much like Ferber sleep training to me, just minus the crying [and taking longer to acheive the same goal].

  7. I felt like the author gave a lot of lip service to the "needs" of babies and how and why they wake, etc in the first half of the book [I was truly impressed in fact]. But then she totally disregards those things in the second half of her book under her "solutions" chapters. She says she is giving ideas to "encourage" baby to sleep [which I liked], but in truth, I really feel that this is just another "sleep training" book, albiet a MUCH nicer alternative to the "cry it out" methods.

  Some of her other ideas are very helpful, though we are doing almost everything else she lists already, to no avail.

  This book gives a very good explanation of why it is not a good idea to let babies "Cry It Out". I think it would be extremely helpful to families that are struggling with that decision.

  This review is not meant as a criticism of *anyone* who uses this method - different things work for different families. I know that many families have had great luck with this program and are very happy with it. But for AP families, I think it is only fair to warn that this might not neccessarily be the answer it is hyped up to be.
  
  

• Airborne Effervescent Health Formula, Original Orange, 10 Tablets (Pack of 3)
• RESPeRATE Blood Pressure Lowering Device

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