The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children Reviews

• The Recipe for Raising Menches

  
  By A31Y1G91FCKVHM on 2001-07-09
  It is an unfortunate cultural truth that we American Jews often treat our kids like fine, hot-house flowers - delicate creatures with frail egos, in constant need of support and nurturing, lest they wilt under the strain of everyday living. This author's wise reflections on parenting demonstrate that trying to iron out any difficulties our children may face in life - now and in the future - actually hinders their development, producing offspring that have far less initiative, resilience, and character than they should!

  And it's true! Lately I avoid going to my daughter's soccer matches, because it's too silly to watch the field flood with doctors, lawyers, and therapists every time a kid makes contact with the ball!

  The author of this very useful book offers wonderfully concrete advice about finding a way to lovingly reassert our moral authority and spiritual mentorship over our children. As a mother of four, living in the same city and cultural/religious milieu as the author, I am impressed with her thoroughness in covering this topic, her compassion for both parents and children, and her knowledge of ancient and contemporary Jewish parenting literature. But most of all, I am impressed by the frank, realistic, and practical steps she offers parents (Jewish or not) for helping their children find strength - true moral, spiritual and psychological strength - in who they are as individuals.

  By the way, though only one percent of the Israeli population lives on a kibbutz (community farm), the kibbutzes regularly produce about 80 percent of the country's military and political leadership. Seems those tough farm kids know a thing or two about resilience!
  
  

• Back to the bad old days

  
  By A2MIWNS1I75WJH on 2005-10-07
  I suppose it was inevitable in an era of neo-cons and Jewish Republicans that someone would write a Jewish "spare the rod, spoil the child" book to stand alongside Babywise and James Dobson. Mogel is more nuanced than the previous generation of authoritarian authors, but her message is the same. It's all about forceful control of behavior, under the misapprehension that an obedient child is a healthy child. In one passage on establishing parental dominance, she draws an analogy between children and dogs, suggesting that parents should intimidate children into submission the same way a dog trainer does with animals. Suggested punishments consistently lack a compassionate sense of proportion. How can threatening to put your child outside and alone in the dark possibly be an appropriate response to a kid refusing to brush her teeth at night? (I kid you not - this is exactly what she suggests on page 149). Parents terrorizing children keeps the therapy biz thriving, but you'll find examples every 20 pages or so in this book.
  
  There is a place for tough love. The challenge of parenting is knowing where and when to apply it. Wise parenting is a balancing act, but this book pushes all the weights to on one side of the scale with no sense of when it's gone too far. Smart, loving parents learn when to stand by their guns and when to compromise. But this book is all about the guns with no compromise in sight. Negotiation, the ability to parlay a difficult situation into a livable compromise, is presented as a liability rather than an essential life skill (i.e. if you negotiate with your kid, or vice-versa, you must be doing something wrong).
  
  The Jewish content was also disappointing. I borrowed the book hoping to find some insight into the difficulties of raising religious kids. How do you bring children to love Torah and tradition, even when the tradition is sometimes difficult? But this book is not about raising Jewish kids (per se) at all. The author uses Judaism only as a kind of folklore, a database of quotes to add some color to the text. The Judaism I love involves Jews who argue with God, who ask the difficult questions--smart, restless, kvetchy, inquisitive. You won't find those kind of Jews in this book, unless they're on the receiving end of a punishment.
  
  
  

• One Excellent Conceptual Framework for Responsible Parenting

  
  By AOEP96629WHHA on 2005-10-20
  I just finished this last night, and I plan to go back through it again. It's one of the better books on raising children that I've ever read. Mogel is a child psychologist with a definite slant--for her, a lot of the answers to parenting problems lie in encouraging spiritual growth, in ourselves and in our children. You don't have to be Jewish to find great material in this book--I'm not--but you definitely need to accept the premise that human beings are happier in a spiritually enriched environment.
  
  I have already started implementing some of Mogel's suggestions for fostering responsibility in children and encouraging them to be grateful for what they have (as opposed to constantly needing more to be satisfied). Moreover, I mean to stay mindful of her emphasis on a parent's need to accept a child's basic nature. If you can name the personality trait in your child that drives you insane, Mogel says, you have already named his greatest strength. Helping to raise him to his greatest potential involves teaching him how to utilize his nature, not how to subvert it. Unlike some modern psychological parenting texts, _The Blessing of a Skinned Knee_ doesn't pretend that children are blank slates to be filled with whatever we please. Instead, Mogel offers practical suggestions for working with the material we're given.
  
  One of the elements of the book that I would most share with my friends involves discipline. Mogel breaks down transgressions by intent and offers concrete ways to deal with them compassionately and calmly. She several times references Biblical exhortations to discipline--not in a pro-spanking stance, but in reminding parents that this is a responsibility that comes with the territory. I wish that some of the more stern parents of my acquaintance would read her arguments against shaming children. Mogel does not believe that discipline requires humiliation. Those who swing the other way--me included--could benefit from her section on restitution. My 8-year-old suffers an overly developed sense of guilt, and I am hoping that following her suggestions for restitution will allow him to feel a healthy sense of closure and relief.
  
  While every reader of books of this type needs to exercise discretion in determining what will work in his or her household, there's a lot of solid advice here. It doesn't address every situation or every concern, and I don't believe it intends to. What it does is provide a framework for a new way of thinking about parenting which might be useful when you encounter those situations not covered.
  
  

• very mixed feelings

  
  By on 2004-01-02
  I had very mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand, I agree with the author's premise that parents should be parents, and not try to be their child's best friend. On the other hand, some of her other arguments were very troubling to me. Among these were the idea that you should never be an advocate for your child, and that you should allow him to handle all his problems himself. The author fails to account for the fact that young children lack the experience and the skills necessary to cope with every situation; that's why they HAVE parents! Not every bad experience is a "learning experience," and I think some of the advice in this book advocates a parenting style that borders on neglect. Perhaps this is because Dr. Mogel is a therapist in an affluent Beverly Hills neighborhood, and she simply doesn't see kids with "real problems."

  Additionally, she states that parents should not expect their children to be good at everything. This is obviously good advice, but then she goes on to talk about how terrible it is that girls in the modern era are supposed to be good at math and science. Exactly what is she trying to get at here? That girls shouldn't be encouraged to do well in "non-traditional" subjects? Indeed, this does seem to be what she is saying.

  Finally, one of the most disturbing anecdotes in this book is about a young girl who is so anxious about going away to camp that she repeatedly throws up all night long. Dr. Mogel holds this up as a great example, because the parents make her go anyway. If you are making your kid so anxious and stressed that she throws up all night, YOU ARE NOT DOING A GOOD JOB AS A PARENT. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

  In sum, I would say that her underlying message, which is to parent your children and not let them run the show, is a good one. But many of her examples are distressing to say the least. And finally, she never gives any advice as to how to implement her philosophy. For example, if she says, "don't let your kid do X," she never gives any strategies for how to deal with it when your kid inevitably does X.

  In my opinion, if you want some real "no-nonsense" parenting advice, call up Grandma. There's not much here that's useful.
  
  

• A Bad, Bad Book

  
  By A1IWEHA1SJLI4E on 2002-02-16
  This book had been recomended to me by many people. I was shocked at how biased it was and how it used the most anecdotal evidence to support its views. The author points out that there are gender differences between boys and girls and then uses that to support her contention that girls shouldn't be encouraged to excell at traditional "boy" things, like science. Yet, real educational studies show that girls who are encouraged in these areas do very well.
  The author brags that at the Jewish Day School her kids attend the conferences with parents last only seven minutes and that the teachers don't praise kids to their parents. Why she thinks this is good I have no idea. After months of interacting with a child a teacher surely has found more than seven minutes worth of stuff to say about a child. And many children (maybe not the authors) are worthy of praise. Indeed, as most educators know, children often exhibit good behavior with their teachers that they don't around their parents. The author seems unaware of this and implies that if a teacher praises a child it is done simply to make the parents feel good. I feel sorry for the author's kids if she really believes this.
  
  
• Use common sense as you read it
  By A39O1LYR9W7YI7 on 2003-03-21
  A friend of mine recommended this book to me when I had spoken to her about battling feelings of guilt as a new parent. This book is splendid for helping parents to feel secure in their parental authority and confident about setting boundaries. I suspect that some people could misread this book as encouraging tyrannical behavior or giving permission to disconnect from involvement in your child's daily concerns. In fact, the book encourages parents to remember that, ultimately, they are the decision makers and not every decision requires "buy in" from your child. Likewise, a child must learn responsibility, which involves being allowed to make some mistakes. Both of these concepts are presented gently and with careful consideration of the needs of both child and parent.

  As a parenting book, I can highly recommend this for any reader able to take what is wanted and leave the rest. If you tend to be an all or nothing thinker, this may not be the ideal read for you. As a book on Jewish teachings, I can not judge as I am not Jewish and am not educated in Jewish theology. I found the considerations of Jewish teachings in the book to be useful and thought provoking, and I think any Christian would find it so.
  
  

• Parenting Wisdom
  By AJMBFAVBAQJ12 on 2001-01-20
  I have read countless parenting books and consulted professional child and marriage psychologists for guidance in raising my two wonderful daughters. In comparison, Dr. Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee is WISDOM, not guidance.

  Her book helped me to recognize that my responsibility is to be concerned most with building strength of character, not strength of grades and achievement. That I need to help my nine-year old and seven-year old with WHO they are, not WHAT they are. Our achievement-driven age sends the opposite message, and, consequently, it is so easy to lose sleep over the wrong things.

  In an inspirational story of personal and professional transformation, Dr. Mogel tells us of how her own search for effective parenting strategies led her to discover that a religious tradition -- in her case Judaism -- gives her a structure for making healthy parenting choices. As parent raising two daughters and as professional psychologist offering advice to parents and teachers, she gives us a framework upon which to base our decisions and behavior to help our children grow into healthy, independent adults.

  With this new understanding, I re-read some of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee before going to bed each night, and my sleep is getting better.
  
  

• Had to stop reading
  By A2YQQLVTDMQ9V3 on 2005-04-03
  As a parent of two children, who happen to have mild to moderate disabilites, interested in bringing Judaism more into their lives, I was very eager to read this book. I scanned the index to see what Mogel might have written for parents of children with disabilites and found nothing, but assumed that the issue must have been woven throughout the book. Afterall, Mogel is a child psychologist who, apparently, has had experience with children who have significant challenges.
  Unfortunately, what I found on the topic of disabilites couldn't have been more offensive. On pages 110-112 Mogel writes:
  "There's a Jewish blessing that is said when one sees exceptionally beautiful people or things: 'Blessed are you, Lord our God, who has such in his universe.' And there is one to say when noticing strange-looking people or animals: 'Blessed are you, Lord our God, who varies creation.'"
  She then goes on to describe a chance encounter with a group of "what the Israelis called 'special people' (mentally retarded and physically handicapped adults)....."
  Her description of this group of people, I feel, is all but freakish and completely lacking respect for their humanity. She writes "In America, we often keep such people separate. Although we let children see horror movies, we protect them from seeing real people who look scary and act inappropriately."
  While she commends the Isaelis for honoring these people by giving them a holiday, she does nothing but itemize the many ways in which they looked or acted bizarrely. And she even admits that, beforehand, she would have shielded her children from "these people whom God had made so very different. Ultimately, I felt grateful that my daughters had an opportunity to learn more about the variety of life than they ever could at home. When we protect our children from people who are different, inappropriate, and even frightening, they'll be too easily shocked and frightened as adults."
  So, I am to gather, that the benefit of this experience for her children was a kind of "desensitization". There was no mention of understanding people who are different or seeing their beauty. The idea, I felt, was that it is better to get the horror over with when they're young so they won't be horrified when they're older. However, people with disabilites, like everybody else, want to be accepted for who they are not what they represent. While feelings of discomfort are common and certainly not to be denied, Mogel conveyed nothing more in this passage about people with disabilities than that these people were other. I expected more from somebody writing from a religious perspective. Perhaps the book contains kinder passages about people with disabilities later on, but I had to put the book down after this.
  Instead of this book I highly recommend "How to Be a Jewish Parent" (by Anita Diamant with Karen Kushner). In addition to being a good book overall, Diamant includes a respectful and intelligent chapter on special needs children. Perhaps Diamant, unlike Mogel, understood that people with disabilities are everywhere and that their parents, like other parents, may just be interested in reading a book on raising their children in the Jewish tradition.
  
  
  
  
• Raising good kids
  By A3CMDJ0ZQM0J67 on 2002-04-12
  Wendy Mogel is a very honest, down-to-earth parent. She writes about how parents can reclaim the control in their family, and create a loving home based on Jewish values. This book is worthwhile for not just Jews, but any parent who wants to raise independent and loving children with values of repect, and integrity, while still maintaining parental sanity. Mogel does not give step-by-step advice, or a one size fits all formula. Rather, she explains Jewish values of parenting, and shows through example how these values can be applied in any home. She shows how to find strengths in any child, and how to use these strengths to everyone's advantage. The chapter on discipline is also very well written, especially for parents who want to practice and teach Jewish values, but may be unsure of how. She is also very in touch with 21st century families.
  
  
• An excellent resource for parents
  By A1RRZ7Q3UWBR3X on 2005-03-02
  I am not Jewish, but still found this book extremely relevant to my own parenting. Although Dr. Mogel uses Judaism and Hebrew as a basis for the underlying structure of her presentation, the issues she raises can be applied to any children and any faith.
  
  I found it refreshing to read a parenting book that actually tells you that your child may not be above average and as a parent it is your responsibility to nurture your child's own unique traits and talents--not try to mold them into the next nobel laureate. As she quotes a Hassidic saying, "If your child has a talent to be a baker, don't tell him to be a doctor."
  
  As the title of the book implies, Dr. Mogel also suggests that it's okay for your children to be exposed to hurt and other unpleasantries of life. She chooses to call these "blessings" and her chapters include titles such as " The Blessing of Longing, The Blessing of Work, The Blessing of Self-Control, and The Blessing of Time."
  
  The book also heavily emphasizes the importance of tradition in family. Dr. Mogel does this through the practice of Judaism and using the traditions of Judaism to bind her family together. I think this concept can be applied to any religion, or if not a religion than a series of ongoing family traditions that bind your family together.
  
  I found this book to be very thought provoking and much of it resonated with me at a very basic level, "Yes. This makes sense!"
  
  
• Thought provoking and wonderful!
  By APKZ02752JSXB on 2004-03-12
  So what can I say that has not been said? This is a great little book! So I'll highlight some issues she brings up that I hope will catch your attention enough to investigate it.
  
  I appreciate her point about children's freedom. Most people don't realize that statistically speaking, children are FAR more likely to be hurt/killed automobile accident than they are by being abducted by a stranger (Most kids who are hurt by others are harmed by family), and that the rate of crimes against children has NOT increased in the past 30 years. And yet so many of us behave as if our children can not be unsupervised for a second--can not walk the dog, kick a ball around in a field or ride their bike to the pool. This is really wrong, and as the author notes, robs children of the best part of childhood to appease our own irrational fantasies. We SHOULD be shaking in our boots that our car will be hit by an SUV when our child is in it, but we don't think twice about taking our kids for a drive.

  Lastly, I loved her emphasis on letting the child experience making choices and experiencing relatively low cost consequences. For example, if a child chooses to have a messy room, don't help them find things that get buried, or go in to fetch the laundry from the floor. Letting them experiencing the natural consequences for thier choices is far more powerful than a million lectures. And later on, if your teen sleeps in class/dosen't do homework/skips school, don't rush in to blame the teacher--make the kid take responsibility and give him the dignity of learning to solve his own problems! It shows that I'm a former teacher here, and I loved what she had to say about supporting your child's education by supporting their character development.

  My only real complaint is that she confuses being spiritual with worshiping a god. The fact that you do not believe in god dosen't mean you can't teach a child to feel awe, humility and embrace tikkun olam! Besides, are we really supposed to start believing in something irrational to help our children become more independant and rational?
  
  

• Absolutely Fantastic Book
  By A17437N1L775IJ on 2006-01-26
  I just finished this book - I tore through it in a couple of days, just couldn't put it down. It is such an inspiring book, both for parenting and for my own spirituality. I recommend it very strongly. I expect to re-read this at least yearly.
  
  
• A title that delivers the truth
  By AS9WXARMW7UML on 2000-12-19
  "Skinned Knee" is more than just a blessing. This is a book that will challenge parents of young children to examine the nature and basis of their parenting skills. Dr. Mogel has crafted an amazing book. One that is completely accessible and honest and, at the same time, one that may rock your own understanding of what it takes to be a good and effective parent.

  I came away from my first reading of this book with a profound sense of what was missing in my relationship to my two daughters. As a Jew slowly returning to practice of Judaism, I was asking my children to believe in things that I wasn't completely comfortable with-and they could see it in my actions and hear it in my voice. The wisdom of Jewish thought through the ages can be a remarkable tool in raising your children. Like most tools, though, this is a challenging one to learn and a difficult one to master. Dr. Mogel has shown in this book to be a wonderful rebbe (teacher) -- one with the head, heart and soul necessary to set each parent on the right path.

  I look forward to re-reading this book many times. I know the strength of this `blessing' will not diminish over time.
  
  

• Use a band-aid instead
  By on 2002-05-18
  I was turned off from the outset by this book's suggestion that the author's version of spirituality and morality was the "right" one, and everyone else was off the mark somehow. Then the advice itself was less than helpful.
  
  
• Helpful book
  By A3FNS3WIFZDS38 on 2006-07-14
  I find I don't come down solidly on either side of the argument between putting children's needs first or maintaining a more traditional strict discipline, denying kids' their wants to build character. I think of the former as the theory promoted by La Leche League, and I do feel that kids have legitimate needs, and those needs should be acknowledged and met.
  
  This book provided a good counter balance to the La Leche League approach, and helped me see where, at times, a more strict approach to withholding some priviledges is beneficial in the long run.
  
  We're all aware of how over-scheduled children have become - soccer practice on Monday, ballet on Tuesday, piano on Wednesday, cheerleading on Thursday. Games, performances, recitals all weekend. This book reminds us of some of the more important family values, that could benefit our children more than an assortment of lessons and activities.
  
  
• Not just for Jewish parents...
  By on 2001-05-30
  A (Catholic) friend gave me this book a few days ago, and I devoured it within 24 hours. It is absolutely wonderful -- straightforward, wise, and warm without being remotely preachy. Wendy Mogel is a terrific writer, to be sure -- the book is truly a joy to read -- but more important, the wisdom and clarity her book imparts is invaluable. I intend to recommend this book to everyone I know -- Jewish or no, parents or no.
  
  
• The blessings of a skinned knee
  By on 2002-04-10
  In these days where every child has to be either brilliant or learning disabled, this is a "fresh" approach which says that every child is unique and can be just ordinary too. It teaches simple, age old values that can raise good solid world citizens instead of self centred tyrants. It shouts wisdom from every page. An excellent book which I would highly recommend to people of all faiths wanting to raise a responsible child with healthy moral values.
  
  
• Finally! Respect is important!
  By A2X94YQ2INNWUZ on 2002-06-11
  After seeing the recent trend in families that I know trying to let their kids "become individuals", a book to remind you that it is okay to be a parent to your kids! Too many of the parents I know are so busy trying to not stiffle their kids, that they neglect to teach them common courtesy and respect for their elders. This book is not the solution to all behavioral problems with kids, only an insightful reminder to look at our own interaction with our children. It is a reminder that before you can teach children self-respect they need to learn how to respect others.
  
  
• an unusual journey
  By AQB79HTTZPBXI on 2003-09-05
  Neither a parenting book nor a religious tract, "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee" still provides useful lessons in both areas. Its message is that children have the potential to be surprisingly wise and noble and inspiring, but they must be helped along by a firm, respectful, and commanding adult presence. The teachings of Judaism are used to show how a balanced, meaning-focused approach to family life (as opposed to the hedonistic MTV lifestyle or the hectic, achievement-oriented lifestyle of many suburban families) can bring both parents and children to a higher spiritual level while also helping them get along with each other - and themselves.

  Mogel's words are inspiring, even for non-parents; however, the book's 250 pages could be pared down to half that, streamlining the prose without losing any of its insight. In addition, the author's attitude is self-righteous and critical at times; she is clearly convinced of the strength of her argument, but her impatience and condesenscion are unappealing. Still, this is a valuable, thought-provoking read.
  
  

• The best book I've ever read!
  By A11ZQQZ5XJ3QWH on 2004-04-20
  This is the best parenting book I've ever read! My husband and I couldn't put this down. It's filled with practical advice and contains lots of witty and thought provoking information. We're not Jewish and we loved this book! I highly recommend this to every parent.
  
  
• What a Relief!
  By A1AV5PMMVHGUGH on 2001-09-04
  Finally a book that real people can relate to. These teachings are simple to use on a daily basis. Lost values that our parents and grandparents grew up with, updated to modern times. Very easy reading! I recomend this to all parents who are looking for a way to instill proper values to their children.
  
  
• You Want To Read This Book!
  By A3OK07V7OU3L2A on 2001-02-23
  What a guide and eye opener for parents who want to create a home with heart, spirit, brains and roots for their kids to use their wings wisely and maturely. Thank You Wendy Mogel!
  
  
• Part of a Genre
  By on 2002-01-16
  This is one of several books that have been released of late sharing Jewish approaches to parenting, and it is not bad. There is plenty of practical information, and the author's background as a therapist is also helpful, although it isn't clear whether Jewish approaches to parenting and psychological approaches fit neatly together, and sometimes I felt that the author's approaches were more the product of Cognitive or Behavioral psychology than Judaism. I might be biased because I read Lawrence Kelemen's TO KINDLE A SOUL first, and it really presents Jewish parenting in its purest form (despite its many references to supporting psychological studies). Together, Mogel and Kelemen are a good team.
  
  
• A Must Read for Any Parents (or want-to-be parents)
  By on 2003-05-09
  This is the best book I have read in ages! I would recommend it to anyone who has kids of is thinking of having kids. It provides practical insight and suggestions on dealing with the challenges of raising independent, well-rounded, and respectful children. The insights are practical, realistic and easily applicable. My husband and I both enjoyed this book. It's worth the money and time.
  
  
• Well Written, Common sense for parents
  By on 2003-08-06
  I was brought(in the European orthodox Jewish tradition ) up to respect my elders, as well as others. How refreshing to read a guide that lets us be parents (as opposed to buddies) with our kids. I enjoyed telling my 'old fashioned' parents that a up to date psychologist agrees with their way of parenting!! This book helps you see that you can be a good friend and guide to your kids without letting them become the boss. While I would not use this book as a source for Jewish theology (or law), Mogel does a beautiful job of using Jewish sources to help all parents with universal parenting issues. Thank you Dr Mogel!!
  
  
• It's a good book - read it.
  By A2NGGUHIZNHF7G on 2006-10-11
  I would recommend this book to any parent who is experiencing trouble with overprotected and/or overindulged children. Though I am myself not Jewish I liked how the author - based on Jewish beliefs - reassured parents that it is ok to set limits and ask your children to pay you the due respect. Afterall, you are supposed to be your child's parent and not his/her friend! Parenting is not about pampering or protecting but about preparing for life. Even from a non-religious point of view the book made some good points; a lot of the other suggestions made in the book were pretty much common sense but I guess that also depends where you come from. What I liked most about it though was that it encouraged parents to accept that a kid might just be "normal" and it is somtimes more important to accept that than to try to turn your child into something it is not (read: a genius). It's a good book - read it.
  
  
• A wonderful book with timeless advice
  By AFHYEO3Y1IIDD on 2003-06-15
  This is an outstanding book on parenting. If you're the type that coddles your child and is afraid to "hurt their feelings" or worries constantly about "hurting their fragile self esteem", this book is not for you. The author teaches loving and thoughtful ways to teach your child to build their own self esteem by learning to deal with disappointment. I keep this book in the car and read it all the time while waiting for my children (after soccer games, etc.)
  
  
• For every parent - not just Jewish ones
  By ARV1ZL0K53934 on 2003-07-23
  I bought this book because the last book I read on raising children was Dr. Spock. My grandson was two at the time and going through the usual age problems. I don't like to interfere with how my children raise their own, but this book was so outstanding and sensible I gave it to my daughter. She read it and said it had the best advice she had gotten from any book. She now includes this book with every baby shower gift. But, best of all, the advice actually works!
  
  
• Amazing resource for parents and educators alike!
  By A8QHD2O16IL7K on 2003-09-22
  This book is a blessing for the thousands of parents and educators who will read it. Mogel is refreshingly frank about the struggles of parents to "tame" their children and is able to gracefully match Jewish text with challenges to create a readable, informative and useful parenting book. I know that this book will be a meaningful read for many parents, but it should be on the reading list for educators as well, who work with and support parents making these choices.
  
  
• Common Sense We All Forgot
  By A18QYQPB4R9GCW on 2005-08-20
  Written by a psychiatrist who was frustrated by the answers she found in the medical books, this book reminds me of things that are so easy to forget. Given to me by a non-Jewish friend, this book does not rely on religious dogma to get its point across. It is about wisdom our great-grandparents knew but that we, in our technology-driven, everyone is special, achievement oriented society, have lost.
  
  The book is easy to read without being cartoony like other parenting books. It is organized perfectly into chapters that include a few examples and instructions without being listy or bossy.
  
  I have a two-year-old and I am starting to glimpse the difference between my expectations of what my daughter is supposed to become and what her personality is.
  
  This book is reminding me that children are not things to be molded but are people to be unfolded. I wish that every parent would read it so that we can raise healthy children together.
  
  
  
  

• The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids
• Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
• Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
• Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents