Getting Past No Reviews

• Best of Breed

  
  By API6D0PY13CAM on 2001-03-07
  I have read extensively on negotiation, including everything written by folks affiliated with the Harvard Negotiation Project. I think that _Getting Past No_ is the best of all the books.

  Its conciseness is deceptive. The concepts expressed are profound. For example, I cannot count the number of clients to whom I have explained the concept of BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement, i.e. what you do if the negotiations fail) before we head into a session of mediation or other negotiation. I have reread this book several times at widely spaced intervals and have found it better than I remembered each time.

  I think this particular book is also much more helpful to those who participate in negotiations that are less structured than labor or arms negotiations that are highly choreographed than was _Getting to Yes_, which at times seemed to assume that all players in the negotiation would be using the same text.
  
  

• Impasse Blockbusting

  
  By A2W1TK5CJXKH5U on 2003-01-26
  In his superb book, William Ury builds on the pricipals first put forth in his first book with Roger Fisher, "Getting To Yes." In "Getting Past No" Ury discusses the nuances and niceties of negotiating using a joint problem solving approach which is "interest based" rather than being "rights based" or "power based." Ury explains that the challenge is to convert a confrontational situation to a cooperative creative problem solving process, that integrates the parties in a negotiation into a cooperative mode, that results in the best long term agreements.

  The specific wonder of this book, is its focus on what to do, when you don't know how to get past a problem. Ury calls his method the "Breakthrough Strategy" and is virtually totally as applicable for mediators as it is for negotiators. In fact, several times, Ury mentions that a mediator may assist the process.

  Simply put, Ury contends that there are basically 5 things that one needs to do to preserve smooth negotiations and to break through an impasse if it occurs. He calls these 'steps' by the following designations: "Go To The Balcony", "Step To Their Side", "Reframe", "Build Them A Golden Bridge" and "Use Power To Educate." These simple concepts are extremely useful tools for negotiators and mediators alike.

  There is no disappointment in this book. The approach and the writing style are just superb. Once again, the Harvard Group, especially William Ury, have produced a book that anyone can gain from and is almost a must for those in dispute resolution and negotiation on a day to day basis.
  
  

• The 2nd Best Book on Negotiation

  
  By A39H36E9D8NHU7 on 2001-04-25
  I thing "Getting to Yes" is the best book on negotiation in the market. It sets the outline. "Getting Past No" shows how to win difficult partner over the way you think. As in "Getting to Yes", Ury uses successfully a 5 step method for his method called "breakthrough negotiation".

  1) Don't react 2) Disarm them 3) change the game 4) Make it easy to say YES 5) Make it hard to say NO

  5 excellent steps in winning over a reluctant negotiation partner. Simple and clear steps that can have a great impact.

  Getting Past No stands on its own. You don't need to have read Getting to Yes to understand and appreciate this one. Only do I love to go back to the basics of negotiation over and over, and their is for me no supplement to Getting to Yes.
  
  

• #4 of my Top 10 Books on Negotiation

  
  By A2JUJX5PP1Q5OT on 1998-01-08
  

  Sometimes I'm tempted to tell people to bypass Getting to Yes and just go straight to this spin-off. It imparts the same essence of mutual-gains negotiation, and additionally includes lessons in good basic strategy for dealing with others' negotiation tactics, tricks, and attacks. While Getting to Yes gives you the foundation of principle-centered negotiation, this book focuses on what to do when that principle-centered negotiation breaks down due to the other side's deceitful, confused, or just plain difficult behavior. If this were a sales book, it would be called something like "Dealing with Sales Objections," but as a negotiation book, it's even more effective: It addresses ways of identifying and dealing with common barriers we all face when trying to strike deals.

  Getting Past No has the same concise, pithy style as Getting to Yes, which makes the tactics sound a lot simpler than they prove to be when you try to put them into practice. But as an analysis of difficult negotiation and as a general roadmap to the land of "Don't get mad, don't get even, get what you want!", it really can't be beat.
  
  

• The greatest book on negotiation, conflicts and life

  
  By A27ACVYFK9GXGS on 2000-06-28
  This book should be a must-read for anybody interested or involved not only in negotiation, but also in business, conflicts, diplomacy and interactions between people.

  It is several years ago I read the book the first time, but still every week, if not very day, I find use for its principles.

  This book along with Frank Bettger's classic on selling have proved to be the most important all-purpose books to my life and career.
  
  

• A must-read book on negotiation and life
  By on 1999-03-25
  Of all the books I've read in my life, this is one of the top 10. I have given it to friends, family, and colleagues--all have enjoyed and grown from it.

  We negotiate everyday--about how much to pay suppliers, which investment plan to implement with our colleagues, where to go on vacation with our loved ones. For all of these negotiations, this book provides priceless advice. Advice like "building a golden bridge for your opponent to retreat upon" translates the human needs of those we negotiate with into actions we can take to get lasting results. Even better than Getting To Yes (also great), this is a must-read!
  
  

• Excellent: Clear & Practical
  By A3H3CEI6EE0V4A on 2006-05-19
  GETTING PAST NO by William Ury is well written and will become a classic must-read if it is not already. The book is brief, easy-to-read yet is strinkingly powerful and useful. The primary benefit from reading this book is how pratical it is. You can use the tools, tactics, and concepts in this book in professional life, business or even to negotiate with friends. In summary, if you want to improve your ability to negotiate, you would be doing yourself a very big favor by acquiring a copy of this book.
  
  HIGHLIGHTS:
  The aim of a negotiation is to reach a mutually beneficial outcome for the parties involved. To accomplish that end, you must identify your interests and your prize (desireable outcome). Further, you must also accurately identify your "opponent's" interests as well. What concerns might the other party have? Needs? A person's needs can be tangible as well as intangible such as the need to safe-face or be respected.
  
  The strategy to negotiate effectively to reach a mutually beneficial outcome include (1) an objective and honest analysis of the negotiation and the process; (2) understanding the other party or parties by seeing the situation from their perspective; (3) reframing the negotiation to focus on satisfying interests and not on "positional statements;" (4) make it difficult for the other side to say no by building a "golden bridge" by acknowledging, involving, and respecting the other side; (5) bringing the other side to their senses by educating them on the consequences from not reaching a mutually satisfying agreement.
  
  
  CLOSING
  --
  In closing, the organization of the book and the clarity in which the concepts are explained really add to the value of the book and makes it easier for readers to apply the material. A useful tool is the BATNA, which is your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement; this is your measuring tool for the agreement you reach. It is also important to identify as well as develop one's BATNA when necessary to determine whether or not one should even negotiate. The author explains negotiations superbly, and virtually every aspect is covered from tactics (obstructive, offensive, depective) to pratical steps to draw the other side in to the negotiation process. I quite confidently recommend this book.
  
  
  I hope the above was useful,
  Clovis
  
  
• Goes along with Getting to Yes
  By A39H36E9D8NHU7 on 2000-05-08
  Clearly the book on negotiation to read if you enjoyed reading Getting to Yes. Where the former sets the framework, Getting past No deals with a straight-forward five-step strategy for tackling difficult people. Highly recommended as a supplementary to Getting to Yes.
  
  
• Skip this book, buy Getting to Yes instead
  By A24Y8GHTP7H9GT on 2005-01-22
  I bought this book expecting to see a refinement or elaboration of the strategies explained in, "Getting to Yes!". I was extremely disapointed!
  
  The first step, "Go to the balcony" basically says to take a time-out to get some perspective. Come on! Negotiations happen quickly. How often do we have the luxury of "sleeping on it". I need a strategy that can be used on the fly.
  
  There is too much focus on being congenial: "Acknowledge their point/feelings", "Offer an Apology", "Agree Wherever You Can". Sure it's important to understand their interests, but don't compromise yourself just to make them happy. Getting to yes puts it much better, "Soft on then people, hard on the problem".
  
  Skip this book. If looking for a great negotiation book, then buy "Getting to Yes".
  
  
• Immediately useful, stimulating and wise
  By on 1999-06-12
  This book is filled with advice that will help you in your very next negotiation. Like Getting to YES, it's easy to read, entertaining, and most importantly, enormously helpful. The theory is elegant, and therefore easy to internalize.
  
  
• A practical guidebook to "Win-Win" negotiation.
  By A8HSWOG4UJKS9 on 1998-07-30
  William Ury is a not only an experienced high-level negotiator but an acute student of his art who can distill his wisdom into concise, memorable lessons. This book is indispensable for anyone who wants to do well in negotiations, formal or informal, without humiliating or destroying the other side. For Ury and his disciples, Win-Win is not a feel-good aspiration but a profitable practice. As a negotiation style which builds relationships while getting things done, Win-Win is a cornerstone of the "Sustainable Workstyles" we teach at MayoGenuine.

  A key insight of his method is the possibility of being "soft on the people, hard on the problem." Negotiation is often associated with macho words like "bruising," "hard nosed," and "marathon" that it is easy to forget negotiation is not war pursued by other means. We negotiate as an alternative to battle, not as another version of it. Everyone wants an acceptable outcome and! would prefer to get to it without being harmed. Ury techniques for separating the issues from the personalities help produce resolutions without unnecessary upsets and leave all involved willing to negotiate another day.

  Many books and articles use familiar examples from the news to illustrate their points. The difference with Getting Past No is that when Ury talks about the Cuban missile crisis is is with the authority of one who was in the room with JFK. He has also participated in labor negotiations, mergers and conversations with his children. His research and personal authority inform every suggestion.

  If you are ready to reduce the time you spend capitulating and combating, if you are ready to start taking responsibility for crafting Win-Win agreements, then reading and applying this short book is your best start.
  
  

• UNMATCHED - This book will change your life
  By ARKGKDX1430ZX on 2002-04-17
  Do you remember the last time you put to use anything you read? How many books are interesting but not useful, or useful but not interesting, or useful and interesting but too complicated or impractical. This book suffers from none of those dysfunctions, but is wholly interesting, wholly practical and wholly usable.

  If you are in the fortunate position of having the opportunity and motivation to put what the book teaches to use as you read it, you will undoubtly find that it dramatically increases your ability to 'let others have your way' and reduces the stress of negotiating (or selling, or whatever else you want to call trying to get, or give, something to or from someone else). The steps and principles are short and simple enough for even the shortest and least focused memory to remember and employ, and despite [sic] being based on research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, you will find them consistent with your past experience and immeasurably valuable for your future.

  Get this now and start getting past no.
  
  

• Worth it's Weight in Gold
  By AFVQAU5D32HU on 2004-06-16
  This book doesn't claim to be a book on LISTENING, and yet it subtly explains and beautifully uses the key elements of listening.
  This book doesn't claim to be a book on DIALOGUE, and yet it deftly explains and elegantly uses the key elements of dialogue.
  This book doesn't claim to be a book on APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY, and yet it reviews the basics and explains and uses the key elements of appreciative inquiry.
  This book doesn't claim to be a book on ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATIONS, and yet it identifies and uses the key elements of assertive communications.
  This book doesn't claim to be a book on SYSTEMS THINKING, however, it uses examples to explain and effectively uses the key elements of systems thinking.
  This book doesn't claim to be a book on MENTAL MODELS, and yet it explains the pitfalls of not understanding mental models.
  This book DOES claim to be a book on NEGOTIATION, and is clearly the best of the best. The book beautifully shows how one can effectively use all of the above skills during everyday communications AND negotiations
  All the examples are crystal clear and convincing. Read it, refer to it often and profit from it.
  
  
• One of the best books on negotiation
  By A2U3F9F52JYKAA on 2005-07-19
  "Getting Past No" further elaborates on the ideas based on Ury's first book "Getting to Yes." I read it front to back, probably 4-5 times now and I take something new from it everytime. The best thing about this book is that it bridges the gap between negotiation models and conflict resolution books--something that I've seen very little of on the bookshelf. The techniques that Ury offers are not industry specific and can be applied to both business, professional, or interpersonal relationships. He also writes it in a very easy to understand format, with each chapter being a new step in the process. Ury is right on when he says that overcoming difficult people are one of the biggest obstacles in a negotiation and his approach is the benchmark that I have been using in my own teachings and in my own book.
  
  
• At last, a proven, repeatable PROCESS!
  By AWOX0I42O0NZ0 on 2003-12-24
  I recently embarked on a project to improve my negotiating skills. I read about half a dozen books and for the most part they left me wanting more. The main thing that was missing was a PROCESS.

  "Getting Past NO" provides a simple, proven and repeatable process that you can take with you and hone in the real world.
  Mr. Ury calls this process--Breakthrough Negotiation. The steps are:

  1) Go to the balcony
  2) Step to their side
  3) Reframe
  4) Build them a golden bridge
  5) Use power to educate

  The book is very well written with excellent examples and wonderful stories and metaphors. The book is well organized and provides an excellent summary that helps ensure that you "get it".
  
  

• Wow!! Ury Has Done It This Time...A Primer for sure
  By A1QILXY42GTBIK on 2001-12-01
  This a must read for anyone that interacts with people. William Ury has written a very practical, easily read, guide and process that anyone can use right from the start. Not just a 'business guide', his five step process is easily applied to everyday situations and with practice is a foundation for much larger negotiations. The principles are well defined via a five step process that is demonstrated through examples that are fresh, relevant, understood by common association. Much effort has been made to make this text even more memorable than 'Getting to Yes.' Gearing concepts through example gives the reader a sense of self mastery without having to memorize lists. The framework builds upon itself with frequent review of previously introduced terms. From business to interpersonal communication, this book has something for everyone. This is also an 'easy read' at under 200 pages, the chapters are subtitled by concept and reference is easy. Read it, use it, and enjoy a more satisfying approach to negotiation strategy. Even alone, each of the five steps provide a valuable resource to summon upon when communications/negotiations are not moving smoothly. The principles will be right at your fingertips!! As my profession requires teamwork, I am delighted that a fresh, practical approach to interaction makes so much sense. I definitely have a new tool in my doctor's bag!!
  
  
• Extremely Helpful
  By A9SSOPL2HQ608 on 2004-07-07
  This is probably the most useful book I've ever read. I'm kicking myself for not reading it sooner. 1000 thanks to Dr. Ury. This is one title you will never regret buying.
  
  
• Excellent
  By A1NM3D2RH9P2G7 on 2001-11-14
  In one word, this is the description of the book. I read and studied Getting to Yes but this one is better. It is very easy to read and full of wisdom, particularly taking control of the emotions and going to the balcony. I am getting impatient (a wrong attitude in negotiation!) to experience in real life what I learnt.
  
  
• Life-Changing and Revolutionary!
  By A2OG83SEU9HL6D on 2007-03-14
  As the author points out, most interactions we have in life end up being negotiations. We cannot provide everything for ourselves, so we have to work with others who may not have the same motivations and goals as we do. This book was an excellent resource when I was struggling with a particular person on one of my projects. It helped me understand that this person had his/her own understanding of the situation, different from mine, and wasn't just trying to be difficult. I believe I will return to this book again and again for guidance. I liked the fact that it wasn't about tricking the other person into doing what you want, but rather about finding a mutually beneficial solution.
  
  I often thought if everyone read this book, negotiations would go a lot smoother.
  
  
• Really excellent examples
  By on 1998-08-14
  This book is going to help me not only in business, but in my personal life as well.

  I'm very glad I read it, and I've already started applying its wisdom in my marriage -- good results.
  
  

• Must Read for anyone with a pulse a job or a kid
  By on 2002-07-12
  This book gives excellent strategies for dealing with bosses, co-workers, parents, spouses and anyone else. This book saved my career. It's that simple. Buy it and use it. Everyone wins.
  
  
• The best practical guide to negotiating I've found.
  By A144AG45799XHH on 1997-10-15
  Everyone negotiates every day over many different issues. From international crisis to who gets to use the bathroom first in the morning, negotiating successfully can mean the satisfying resolution of disputes. William Ury has created a practical guide to negotiation that, if practiced, will yield great agreements without angst. A win-winner!
  
  
• Fantastic!
  By on 2001-08-25
  This book is great. Skip Getting to Yes and go right to this book. It really helps you think about what's important. It's wonderful for personal as well as business relationships.
  
  
• Could you possibly write a better book on negotiation?
  By A3IOP1Y4SKV4MX on 2002-04-18
  I'm not sure if you could possibly write a better book on negotiation.

  This small, thin, lightweight, Bantam paperback of 181 pages is both concise and well written. It is evident that author William Ury has devoted a considerable amount of thought and research to the subject. His extensive knowledge has allowed him to write THE definitive "How-To" book on negotiation.

  Throughout the book, Ury instructs his reader on how to approach specific parts of a negotiation, and how to react (or not react) if the other side does not act according to plan. The book advocates a considerable amount of psychological coaching in the event that one's emotions should threaten to divert a negotiator from his/her acknowledged goals. I found Ury's "Going to the Balcony" to be an extremely fresh approach to moderating one's anger in the face of unrelenting resistance.

  In addition to countless examples of negotiation in the business world, Ury also details how the art of negotiation permeates our daily lives. Whether it be negotiating with a teenager to get off the phone, or negotiating with a sales clerk to take back a defective item, we all seem to do our fair share of negotiating. For this reason, I highly recommend this book to anyone who aspires to become a more effective negotiator (in the most liberal sense of the word.)
  
  

• Easy to read book for beginners
  By A12YCFU62E885B on 2004-01-24
  It is the best book for the beginners to learn negotiations by in a day. The book is easy to read and to the point. For advance readers I will recommend "Essentials of negotiation by Lewicki et al"
  
  
• getting past no
  By A16RVL8SJ6DYFU on 2002-04-26
  very practical and also very tactical and intellectual for those seeking that kind of perspective.
  most effective in dealing with dishonest, manipulative and those who consistently do not fulfill thier stated promises.
  
  
• Meets Expectations
  By ABX7SEE84DMLU on 2006-11-14
  If you were expecting the same breakthrough content that informed "Getting to Yes," you won't be happy with this book, it's true.
  
  However, there are clear roadmaps here for handing difficult or obstructionistic people. The book outlines simple, practical steps for breaking down resistence, such as:
  
  1) Go to the balcony
  2) Step to their side
  3) Reframe
  4) Build them a golden bridge
  5) Use power to educate
  
  In my experience, the most valuable of these are going to the balcony and reframing. Sometimes, if a person hits you as difficult or unfair, it is hard to see the issues from their perspective unless you take the boradest possible view. And we can never think as clearly as when our emotions are engaged.
  
  It's a good book - not as great as "Getting to Yes," but very, very good.
  
  
• It's not a competition, and they are not the enemy ...
  By A3D0GIQQYHOG5H on 2006-12-25
  A seminal work in the practice of negotiating. Just because you want one result does not mean the party you are negotiating with wants the opposite result. Often there are commonalities or unrelated goals. By seeing what your "negotiation partner" wants, and especially why, a win/win solution becomes possible. Good stuff!
  
  
• Meditate over this Book!
  By A33SBPL6OE5N9G on 2001-05-23
  I am still astonished on how this book summarized the reasons of many of my past successes and how easily it pinpointed the reasons why I failed. PEOPLE! We always get down to people! I read both books, "Getting to Yes" and "Getting Past No" and before I read this one I thought I was going to read the "sequel" of the first one, but in reality Mr. Ury expressed himself (more than 10 years later) with more than just another view to the same problem. He managed to synthesize and put also his heart in divising a pathway for normal people (like you and me) to effectively get positive results in all possible difficult relationships and situations (personal, professional, etc.). This book plus "Difficult Conversations" are two must reads for persons really concerned in managing PEOPLE and PEOPLE PROBLEMS.
  
  
• Teaches Useful Skills
  By A1BKULIZD9RXSB on 2001-06-26
  - Very easy to understand - Great advise - Very helpful - Useful in both professional and personal life
  
  

• Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
• The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No
• Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
• Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate
• Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People 2nd Edition