The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old Reviews

• Many Techniques Really Work...although awkward at first

  
  By on 2004-03-18
  Although the analogy to prehistoric man is overdone a bit, there are so many sensible, clear strategies to try with 1-4 year olds that really are working for us. Talking toddler-ese has really made a difference in the cooperation we are now getting from our 2 and 3 year olds. Mirroring their feelings and "wants" with short, repeated phrases that reflect the child's words, tone and body lauguage has quickly and almost magically stopped much of my toddlers' defiant, annoying behaviors. Karp emphasizes that what you say to someone who is really upset is less important than HOW YOU SAY IT. And his theory has proven itself to be correct in our home.

  The only suggestion in the book that I have a problem with is using a hook and eye latch to lock a child in his room even for a very short time-out. I feel this can be scary for the child and although it may get the child to know that you do mean business, I prefer not to get compliance from my children with fear, guilt or humiliation. Karp does suggest that you explain to the child in "toddler-ese" how the locking mechanism works so that he will know the door will not open when mom uses it.

  I also recommend another one of my favorite parenting reference books as a compliment to Karp's hardcover book called "The Pocket Parent". This is a very practical, quick read, little paperback book loaded with many positive discipline and communications tips written exclusively for parents of 2-5 year olds. Peppered with humor and organized alphabetically by behaviors such as: Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Bedtime and Mealtime Refusals, the "Gimmees", Interrrupting, Morning "Crazies", and Whining...Pocket Parent is a real sanity saver. Both books will lift your spirits with specific ideas to try as well as loads of compassionte support from authors that have been there, too... especially when you feel you are just about at your wits' end with the little ones.
  
  

• No more dreading temper tantrums

  
  By A1I16OIS7NA7CW on 2004-05-09
  After having so much success with the Happiest Baby on the Block calming
  techniques, I could not wait to watch The Happiest Toddler on the Block
  by Harvey Karp,M.D.
  
  My 22 month old grandson began to scream when I told him it was time to
  go inside. I spoke "toddlerese" with much expression as suggested by Dr.
  Karp.
  I said, " No No No" you do not want to go inside.
  He looked at me very surprised.
  I said, "No No No" you do not want to go inside.
  He looked at me again with his mouth wide open.
  I said again, "No No No you do not want to go
  inside, but we must take sister to potty."
  
  ---------he came with me without protest. In the past he
  would have continued screaming for about 5 minutes and
  I would have picked him up kicking and screaming.
  
  
  Now I can't wait to read the book The Happiest Toddler on the Block Book to get
  more helpful suggestions for the children in my family and in my
  practice.
  
  Phyllis Meer,RN, BSN,CPNP
  and proud grandmother of 4.
  
  

• Not for us

  
  By A49XNH3JS8B5J on 2006-04-07
  We were really hoping for a home run here, but it was a total strike out. This book was REALLY not for us. We don't feel as though you need to mimic a 2 year-olds behavior to convey that you understand how they feel. The whole idea that toddlers are like little Neanderthals, and you have to speak/relate to them accordingly (e.g. barking, "ANGRY...you want OUTSIDE...OUTSIDE...OUTSIDE, NOW!!" at your tantruming toddler who wants to go out to play)just isn't a realistic approach for us. As if that isn't awkward enough, the author suggests that parents actually furrow their eyebrows, bare their teeth and GROWL at children when they misbehave. I'm all for giving your kids "the look", but the whole concept was just too far-fetched for us. However, the author does point out that it is important for parents to communicate to their kids that they "understand" their kids' feelings. Apparently these methods have had success for some families, but if you're like us and the idea of reducing yourself to a neanderthal for a parenting technique just isn't in the cards, you might want to consider just telling it like it is to your children when it comes to discipline.
  
  

• Not Practical in the Real World

  
  By A259VUE92DMUB5 on 2004-10-04
  If Karp had not earned so much renown after writting The Happiest Baby on the Block this book would have been a joke. His technique in curbing toddler tantrums is to talk like a cave man to your child because it meets them at their level. That by itself wouldn't be so bad, but he urges parents to match the intensity of their child's tantrum, which I am certain would get some interesting looks in the grocery store! I tried this at home and it just made my toddler more angry because when he has a tantrum he is just not interested in reasoning at that moment, no matter how it is done! I think most kids are this way, when they are frusterated by something no amount of caveman speak is going to change that.
  
  I was also disappointed that while The Happiest Baby on the Block was a great method for comforting babies to sleep without letting them cry alone, Karp endorses "cry it out" as one solution for toddler sleep problems. This is not a book for those who practice "Attachment Parenting".
  
  The first part of the book, however, was interesting and entertaining as he descibes how babies grow and change, likening it to the evolution of man. It is an interesting similarity, but a bit of a stretch at times.
  
  Instead I would recommend The Mother of All Baby Books by Ann Douglas. It is much more informative and a great reference book for parents with toddlers.
  
  

• Great, as expected!

  
  By A3GNZZ0CSFUT8R on 2004-03-04
  I ran to the bookstore to get Dr. Karp's new book based on my experience with his phenomenal book about babies. I can say that Dr. Karp has proven how genius he is again. So simple, yet so powerful. No wonder he keeps coming back to Dr. Phil's 101 Parenting show. He has real advice that any parent absolutely needs to hear. It made my life so much easier. I am still practicing my "toddler-ese" but I can see immediate results. The book is not just helpful but it is FUN to read.
  I have to say that, by adopting Dr. Karp's methods, I can enjoy my kids more. I have minimized daily struggles with them and maximized fun time we have together. That makes my kids love me even more, especially my 18 months old girl who is a real "Neanderthal in my kitchen".
  Thank you Dr. Karp. I love your books! And I am looking forward to seeing your video about toddlers.
  
  
• Crazy
  By A2U0F5K4EXKIUL on 2006-08-09
  I am going to be very opinionated here, but just to make the point to you of what it is like. I could not stand this book. I thought the ideas were LOONEY! They recomend that when you child has a tantrum, you join them to help them understand that you understand, even in front of others. Ha! No thanks. I do love my kids, but I also would like them to learn what is correct behavior in front of others. They do have to grow up eventually!
  
  
• Whoa, It Actually Works!
  By A3CGP9L2PLN3GV on 2004-07-19
  My son is 23 months old and definitely in the Terrible Two's stage. I felt helpless, lost and had no control of the situation whenever my son would snap into his "I want it my way" mode, sprawling on the floor. I truly had no idea how to calm my boy down. It was very frustrating. I can be very snap-y at times, but I did not want to be that way with my son. After all, he is just a toddler.

  I happened to read a snippet about Dr. Karp's book in The New York Times' Science Times section. When I read about his concept that toddlers are basically Neanderthals, I thought he was definitely onto something (I always referred to my son as Bam-Bam from The Flintstones!). With my interest piqued enough, I ordered the book from Amazon.

  After a couple of days, I tried Dr. Karp's Prehistoric Parenting method. I was shocked when after a couple of times repeating "You want mommy. You REAALLLY WANT MOMMY!!", my son stopped his tantrum; looked at me; and simply said, "Sorry!" It was like a revelation.

  I love that you don't need to read every chapter in its entirety. When stuff about kids older than 3 years old came up, I went straight to the next chapter, since my son is almost 2.

  My only criticism is that a lot of ideas are repeated over to a fault. But I could live with that. Dr. Karp is just trying to reiterate his messages.

  Overall, I give this a 5 star rating for the sheer fact that the Dr. Karp's method of Prehistoric Parenting and speaking Toddler-ese really does work!

  Do yourself a favor and buy this book. You won't be sorry. In fact, you'll be relieved!
  
  

• Terrible book
  By A1HH5X53UEDY3W on 2007-09-05
  Here is the book, in summary:
  
  Your child acts like a caveman and pretty much is a cave man in every way. You act like a cave man too so that he understands you and he is happy.
  
  Read the above paragraph 500 times. The end.
  
  
  
  
• Like learning baseball from a book
  By A3I3CQ0Y9472FA on 2007-05-22
  Other reviewers highlight the silly, embarrassing methods of this book as well as Dr. Karp's use of Neanderthals as a toddler-comprehension tool; however, readers should go straight to the meat of the book. It's a bit sad that Dr. Karp had to listen to his editors about dressing up the content to get parents to laugh and read his book, but this guide is still a valuable resource for parents embarking on the adventure of toddlerhood. You will walk away from this book with more insight into your toddler's behavior. I know I have, and I recently reread this book and found it insightful.
  
  And just for the obnoxious extremist reviewer, my 10-month-old was definitely a chimp-child complete with the hoots, hollers, yells, Curious George looks, and monkeying around. At 19 months old now, he's definitely a little caveman. Seriously though, the inability to see the analogy of toddlers as little Neanderthals as a setup is just poor reading comprehension. *Lighten up!* And Neanderthals are a fossil record fact. There's no need to knock Dr. Karp for that.
  
  If you are considering this book, read it for the content and techniques. Don't go caveman at the presentation!
  
  I have also reviewed the DVD of the same name, and I have to strongly suggest to you to rent or borrow the DVD to see Dr. Karp demonstrate his methods as well as answer questions in the Q&A section. The book is understandably off-putting in the same way reading a book to learn baseball or ice-skating is, so give the video a chance. Also keep in mind that Dr. Karp instituted these techniques to get through office visits with fit-throwing, screaming toddlers. He says that there is no magic bullet for toddler tantrums, but often you will need such a transitional method to help you redirect your child to something else or new.
  
  
  
• The talk infuriated my toddler
  By A34L89O3Q8UEC6 on 2005-05-16
  This book simply didn't work for us. Many times my 2 year old son would throw a tantrum because he didn't know what he wanted. Example: "I want juice Mama" I give him the juice. He falls out on the floor crying. "I don't want juice anymore." I take juice and put it on the table. "I want juice Mama." AAAAHHHH! I couldn't "caveman talk" because neither my child nor myself knew what he wanted. The other parts of the book were to shallow. I really liked John Rosemond's making the terrible twos terrific.
  
  
• Advocates LOCKING toddler in his bedroom - DO NOT buy this book
  By A1UK7420B1Q6QI on 2006-12-14
  I thought I had submitted this review before Christmas but I do not see it posted, so I'm writing it again.
  
  I consulted this book looking for answers to the question: How do you get a 3-year-old who's sleeping in a toddler bed to go to sleep on his own? I've been laying on the floor next to his bed to get him to stay in bed and would like to find a way for him to go to sleep by himself.
  
  The answer that "Dr. Karp" gives to this question is to put a hook and eye lock on the outside of the toddler's bedroom door and show the toddler during the day that when the door is locked the door won't open. At night, he suggests you put a pillow and blanket next to the door in the toddler's room, since many children will fall asleep next to the door when they realize they can't get out of their room.
  
  I'm quite certain that this borders on neglect at the least and is possibly viewed as child abuse in some states. It is the worst advice I've read. I've thrown it away - I will not even donate it to the public library as I do not want this information to be passed along to anyone else.
  
  I will spend the next 3 years sleeping on my son's floor before I'll lock him in his room for the night.
  
  
• Didn't have success with this technique
  By on 2004-04-23
  Although there are some good common sense recommendations on how to connect with your toddler in this book, I found "Toddlerese" to be ineffective. In fact, after several attempts I found it agitated my 19 month old (who is generally a pretty "easy" kid) even more when she was upset. I think the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers presents more effective methods built on respect for your child and your role as parent. At the end of the day I still find that making eye contact with my daughter and calmly acknowledging her needs is the most successful way to communicate and calm a tantrum. We've also had a lot of success with simple sign language, which allows my daughter to tell us what she wants - she has a strong vocabulary - but we continue to use sign language successfully. My recommendation is to skip this book and stick with the Baby Whisperer.
  
  
• Great concept but could have been reduced to a booklet
  By on 2004-06-03
  Let me first say that I'm a big fan of Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block book. He had a theory (recreating the womb) and explained several ways to carry it out.

  In this book, he has a theory that your child needs to feel understood and you should let them know you understand them by repeating back to them what they just told you, then empathizing. In their words, at their level. ("The Fast Food Rule") That's ALL. The book is full of examples and uses a caveman analogy to get its point across, but basically the message reiterated is the same or a variation on the Fast Food Rule. The video that accompanies this book is only 37 minutes long!

  The "Happiest Baby, INC." trademark on the back says it all, I suppose. The main goal here seems to have been to turn out a sequel and fluff it up as much as possible to generate maximum profit.
  
  

• Absolutely Great!
  By AHWDKK9YN7I4E on 2004-08-12
  I belong to a book exchange and exchanged this book for "The Child Whisperer" which I personally feel is one of the best and simplest parenting books around. Like "The Child Whisperer", "The Happiest Child on the Block" skips the high brow theory and gets right into practical application of sound and proven techniques. If you are looking for a no-nonsense approach to improving your relationship with your toddler, buy this book. Oh, buy "The Child Whisperer" too and you will have two great books for your resource shelf or to exchange with others.
  
  
• A liffe saver
  By AIEX58YVLP58D on 2005-04-23
  Dr Karps book is excelent. As a parent who does practice attachment parrenting I found this book a life saver. I felt that I really did not have trouble with tantrums but after reading the book found that I often avoided tantrums by not setting boundaries. After reading the book I was not afraid of a trantum because I knew I could calm my child down fast.
  The book really gives the parent and child power, it gets you off on the right foot by opening the lines of communication needed when your child is older. when you use the active listening techniques described in the book your child with feel that s/he has something important to say and will be listened to.
  You do not imitate your childs tatrums but show them that you understand and speak in short simple phrases. Once your child is used to the technique you do not need to be embarassed to use it because often just the look on your face with some quiet words will bring your child around. Not to mention you will definately look better than the mom carting a screaming child around the store or screaming back at them, even if you go all out with his technique. This book is definately worth the read.
  
  
• Finally...I can stop the tantrums!
  By on 2004-03-17
  I'm a mother of 2 and have read numerous books about "parenting toddlers" looking for some ways to work with my 3 year old and stop tantrums. I can honestly say that this is the first book that gave me not only practical suggestions to stop tantrums but also some great ideas on how to prevent them from starting in the first place. I saw Dr. Karp on Dr. Phil show and thought his techniques looked too good to be true but I have a happy toddler now and have learned from experience that they DO work. I have already bought this book as a gift for two friends with toddlers and highly recommend it.
  
  
• The Happiest Toddler on the Block
  By A34FEM6BVFCGKV on 2005-06-22
  This book was awful. We bought it to get some insight into how to help our toddler behave better and felt that all we got was a comparison to toddlers and evolution. The comparisons this author made were very strange and unfounded. They had nothing to do with reality. He also wanted an adult to talk "toddler talk" to the toddler instead of regular English. I would not follow much of the advice given in this book. He did not recommend a way of raising children that made the adult an authority figure in the child's life which is something that is essential to raising happy and well adjusted children.
  
  
• Ridiculous
  By A1IXD3ZELBFGHG on 2005-01-19
  This is the least useful parenting book I have ever read. I am amazed to see so many positive reviews. I would recommend that you go to a bookstore and actually read a chapter before purchasing it. Indeed, it encourages parents to behave as the toddlers they are trying to parent. Don't waste your money on this one.
  
  
• overboard on the caveman theory
  By A1CTZ68CQ50KPH on 2006-01-09
  Im sorry but if i had known that this entire book focused NOT on developmental aspects of a child, but rather how my child is like a monkey or cave person then i would have not gotten it. The entire book practically focuses on that point. Not sure if the author is just trying to be funny; which he wasnt, but it takes away from the whole point of the book. If you are looking for a book that helps you to identify your HUMAN child's personality traits, developmental milestones and how to understand/nurture them, then this is not the book for you. If I wanted a book that just displayed the author's opinions on human development then that is what I would have looked for.
  
  
• Dr. Karp Does It Again!!
  By AMWT6QFV6MUH5 on 2004-10-08
  I couldn't have lived without The Happiest Baby on the Block and think Dr. Karp's new Toddler book is just as wonderful. He really presents an interesting theory. If we stop and think about it, all parents know that their toddler acts like a caveman at times. (It's no accident they named one of the toddlers on the Flintstones "BamBam!") I know a few parents don't believe in evolution, but we all want ways to teach our young children to be happy, respectful and well behaved...and Dr. Karp really delivers on his promise. His approach is fun, easy and EFFECTIVE. It dramatically helped my uncivilized little toddler in just a few days!
  
  For those who don't have the time to delve into "another parenting book," Dr. Karp has thoughtfully created a DVD. This is a great way for busy moms and dads to get all of the tips, while bypassing the theory. It's 30 minutes of solid advice. This is the only way I finally got my husband to sit down and learn the techniques...and he really loved it. It has truly transformed the way he communicates with our two year old...and made their relationship 100 times better!!
  
  
  
• Bye Bye to Terrible Twos!
  By on 2004-03-12
  Delightful, insightful and doable tips that really work for toddlers. Just when we thought we would need a counselor for our marriage because hubby and I could not agree on parenting styles or consequences, we found this book. YOU HAVE TO TRY IT for the sake of your sanity, kids and marriage. Two others that have helped in our family are: Raising Resilient Children by Robert Brooks and Mommy CEO, which is a parenting/family book, by Jodie Lynn. We love all three books and so will you.
  
  
• I laughed a lot . . .
  By AMU0KM9FHDQ3D on 2006-01-12
  You'll either love this book or you'll hate it, really. It is so laughable and ridiculous at times, it should also be shelfed with Calvin and Hobbes. The author, to his credit, is trying hard to be cute and funny by describing toddlers as "charming child-child", "knne-high neanderthal", "clever cave-kid" and "versatile villager". But that is all this book is. Cute and funny. The information and suggestions provided are pretty useless to anyone that has read any other parenting book. Nothing new or orignal here. The pace was tiresome and repetative.
  
  I was personally really annoyed with his metaphors. I'm pretty sure my daughter would be offended if she could comprehend it. I feel the same way about caveman marriage advice as well.
  
  The chapter that really got me was called, "Modern Life: The Nuclear Family is Normal--and Other Myths".
  
  
• It really works!!
  By AL12L7ER83779 on 2004-09-18
  I am a mother of a 25 month old. Many of my friends who were also parents of toddlers recommended this book. At first, I was very skeptical. I read through it and tried the Toddler-ese and the Fast Food Rule. It worked immediately!!! In fact today, my husband, my daughter and I were at a restaurant. She started to get upset because she wanted me to hold her. My husband talked to her in Toddler-ese and immedatiately she stopped crying! I am very impressed with this book and will recommend it to others!
  
  
• Advice for tantrums that really works
  By A2CSZV6XZSW5W7 on 2004-11-30
  I tried all kinds of things but speaking in "toddler-ese" was the only thing that worked to calm down my 2 year old in the middle of a raging tantrum. Dr. Karp's "fast food rule" is a parenting gem - any child would respond to validation/confirmation of his feelings - when you repeat back what he's just said he knows he's being heard. Then he is open to hearing your message. This method works - when I first acknowledge what my toddler feels or wants as Dr. Karp suggests, I am able to get him to do what I need him to do instead. It's amazing how effective this technique is in dealing with tantrums or better yet, avoiding them altogether.
  
  
• This book saved my sanity
  By A2O0D7K0GTUU26 on 2004-04-30
  It was so frustrating and at times embarassing trying to deal with my daughter during her tantrums because I was trying to talk to her calmly as if she would magically understand me and stop fussing. Dr. Karp's book had a huge impact on me because it made me realize that I'm dealing with a little "caveman" and adult logic just won't work when my little 2 year old is super agitated.

  With clearly stated steps to follow, this book has really made a difference. It was a little awkward when first trying the techniques, but after very little practice it became second nature. Using the toddler-ese and short repetitive phrases, while mirroring my daughter's feelings has nearly cut out tantrums altogether. She still gets upset but it rarely escalates out of control anymore. There is a lot more peace in our family now.

  (...)
  
  

• Very good advice -- doesn't sit well with creationists :p
  By AOROKNHZ3OSSC on 2005-03-15
  It was obvious that Dr Karp would antagonize *a few* people by his reference to evolution :) Ha, that was a bad marketing move, but I do totally agree with him. I do think that our little ones are either like little cavemen or like little mammals (oh my god, I'm likening children to animals... another no-no :p)
  One of the things that are really frustrating to my son is that I don't understand what he wants to tell me. The toddlerese fits perfectly well in those cases. Yes our role as educators is to model good behaviour, but if they think we don't even understand them we're not going to model much. So I think this recommendation is totally relevant and his way of explaining it is very appropriate. Obviously we cannot do that in aisle 6 of Kmart, I am not that dedicated a mother that I can take the ridicule of it (even though really, I shouldn't care). But it is definitely helpful at home when after a long day my son is getting very frustrated and I don't get what he wants.
  And nope, I don't think this is for parents who practice attachment parenting. I personally don't see how attachment parenting all the way can work with toddlers who are throwing tantrums and starting to slap you. You can't solve everything by just loving your children, there is a point when you do have to do some disciplining otherwise your children will have issues when they go to school and start experimenting what it means to live in society and they're not the most important thing in the world anymore. I am against corporal punishment, but there are things that can be done in matters of discipline that don't hurt a child's spirit... :D
  
  
• Wacko.
  By A3IP6MI767BBQN on 2007-01-09
  The concepts presented in this book are wacko. Recapitulation theory is bunk (just do a google search for "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny," the book's main tenent, and you will see), and the book is completely based on this baseless theory.
  
  Speaking to your toddler in short phrases that s/he can understand? That should be a no brainer. Why this is a revelation to people I cannot understand. Speaking to your toddler as if you are a caveman? That is crazy. I refuse to act like a primitive version of a human in the grocery store instead of modeling appropriate behavior for my child.
  
  Any book will have nuggets of wisdom. This one has very few, and ferreting them out is not worth your time, money, or attention.
  
  
• It could've been much shorter
  By A24JZLCUUBLUWU on 2005-01-06
  I've got to agree with the other reviewer who said the book could've/should've been a bit shorter. That being said, I don't think it's too terribly long. There's a lot of interesting tidbits to be picked up all along the way. The mindset Dr. Karp asks of you (to be an "ambassador") and the suggestions in Part III have all been incredibly useful. I find myself going back to the book time and again.
  
  I am a bit surprised and disheartened that so many reviewers have tried to bring in the evolution/creation debate (if you can even call it a debate - most educated people (at least the many I've known), including me, conclude the arguments for evolution are much stronger than the arguments for creation (though, let me say, there are some interesting arguments and problems to be found on both sides!)) But, if you're offended by the theory of evolution, keep telling yourself Dr. Karp is using it as an incredibly useful analogy.
  
  As for "toddler-ese", sometimes it works for me, sometimes it doesn't. Generally, it seems to work more often when she's (my precious little 14month old daughter - charming chimp/maniacal caveperson) having a genuine tantrum and less when she's having a tantrum along w/ teething pain. But, boy, when it does work, there's not much in life more valuable than when she gives you that look that says, "Hey, you understand what I'm saying!" Communication, true communication, between adults is oftentimes incredibly difficult; communication between adult and child even moreso. As a parent, I'm incredibly thankful for any technique that enables me to communicate w/ my child.
  
  
• I Speak ToddlerEase - NOW!
  By AE0B6VKQ4ZND0 on 2005-02-01
  As a parent of 2 1/2 year old boy/girl twins, I am enjoying this book very much. While I never read the Happiest Baby on the Block, we also benefited from Dr. Karp's 5 S's - my mother even added a sixth S - smooch!
  
  In this book, I really like the analogy of toddlers to neandrathals, it makes a lot of sense; though the book certainly would have been a bit shorter/easier to read if we weren't being constantly reminded of the analogy. While my twins have been quite communicative since 18 months, I still find it very useful to speak ToddlerEase with them to quickly let them know that I understand what they are trying to say and this seems to head off many a tantrum!
  
  
  
  
• a revelation
  By A348QBX2CSSA7I on 2005-09-12
  I remember the first time I spoke toddler-ese to my child, just as she was preparing to launch into one of her very predictable tirades against sitting in the car seat. It was almost surreal how she sat there quietly gazing at me, as if to say "Whoa, you actually DO understand me." These techniques have helped immensely, and the great thing is they are sooo simple to implement. And it makes complete sense to me now. Toddler's are often a stormy brew of frustration, fear, and other intense and uncomfortable emotions that they are not well equipped to express (other than by going completely ballistic). The gift I can give to my toddler is to "be her voice."
  
  

• The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer
• The Toddlers Busy Book
• What to Expect the Toddler Years (What to Expect)
• The Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD with Bonus Spanish Track
• Toddler 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for your Toddler