Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication Reviews

• It worked for me!

  
  By A2G9SW3AZDNAQ6 on 2004-01-29
  I came from an extremely abusive home and was too afraid to have children - afraid that I would be a statistic and abuse my own children. A very dear friend gave me this book and coupled with great counseling, I gradually rose above my fears and raised three successful and happy children. I read this book from cover to cover - I had to totally learn a new way of thinking, responding, and feeling. I read it often to keep it fresh in my mind and heart. I broke the abuse chain - I am proud of this. This book gave me the tools to do it! This book gave me the inspiration and guidance needed to be the mother I wanted to be. The reason I wrote this review today, is that my 25 yr old daughter wants to buy this book before she has children - she remembered me talking about it, reading it, and singing it's praises as I raised her. I can't give you a better review than three happy well adjusted young adults and one very happy and content Mom. This book changed all of our lives. Good luck and good parenting, Deb
  
  

• Best Behavioral Development Book I have Ever Read

  
  By A2JNSEORCGNJ35 on 2003-08-29
  While this book was originally written a number of years ago, the concepts are time-tested and true to anyone looking to foster the best possible environment for their child. Ginot talks a lot about his experience with children (as a child psychiatrist) and is very effective in relaying how a child thinks, feels and behaves in response to our words, actions and inaction.

  The book makes logical sense in how not only children, but some adults perceive the world around them. I currently have two year old twin boys and I have incorporated some of Dr. Ginot's recommendations and I am AMAZED at the difference it has made in the response of my boys. For example, if a child is doing something they are not suppossed to, like hitting a glass table with a plastic golf club (this is a true example), instead of just saying "Paul, do not hit the glass table with your golf club," you say, "Paul, we may not hit the table with the golf club but you can hit the ground or your golf ball with the club," the child responds differently because he knows the acceptable as well as the unacceptable, which defines the boundaries for him. In my case, Paul continued to hit the table when I failed to define the boundaries for him but when I relayed the message to him in a way that defined boundaries, he stopped hitting the table (and has not to thie day - 6 weeks later, whereas it was a 2-3 times a week occurance).

  I have read at least a dozen other "child raising" books and if I had to narrow it down to one, this would be it...by a long shot!
  
  

• Ginott Helped Me Change the Way I Talk to My Kids

  
  By A2QX801AD8FQR4 on 2004-11-19
  
  
  I suddenly realized one day that much of the time I was talking to my three young children (the people I care the most about) in a way that I wouldn't speak to my worst enemy...yelling, threatening, constantly nagging and searching for stricter punishments to help change their behavior...none of which seemed to be working the majority of the time. I really wanted some guidance to help me change my discipline approach. This book was highly recommended to me by my mother who used the principles on me and my sisters as well as in her classroom and I finally decided to take a look at it, especially since it has been recently updated and revised. This book has changed my life. I see why Ginott's book is a true classic...It makes so much sense and has taught me a way of communicating respectfully with my children without becoming a wimpy parent. One of the keys to this philosophy is that it is permissive with feelings but not with misbehavior. I am getting more cooperation from my children without resorting to fear, guilt or spanking. I have learned how helpful it is to acknowledge a child's feelings along with giving clear limits and boundaries. As an added bonus...I have noticed that the insight and skills in this book have helped me communicate and solve problems more successfully with my husband as well as with my boss. I am really feeling good about the positive changes. If you have preschoolers, I also highly recommend an A-Z companion to this book, callled "The Pocket Parent." Ginott is quoted several times and the book is based on the very same philosophy while addressing most of the troublesome behaviors parents face daily with 2-5 year olds. Both books are filled with practical commonsense techniques that we sometimes forget are options as parents.
  
  

• Some good info but light on correction

  
  By A31GC1PE4YZXU6 on 2007-01-09
  I thought there was some good information but I think it was light on correction. While I believe that we need to create a loving, safe, and encouraging environment for our children I also believe that there are times when children defy authority and need to be corrected. This book tries to combat the problem before it happens by the way we communicate with them. Although communication is key to the Parent/child relationship, children need to know that the Parent is in charge, that they must obey the first time and without argument. Don't get me wrong, children are a beautiful blessing from God and they need to be nurtured so carefully. But along with that nurturing comes this demand for obedience because I am their authority. The book was light on parental authority and presented parents merely as guides in a child's life rather than an authority to be obeyed and to protect them. I think our society could use a bit more respect for authority.
  
  

• Nothing works better

  
  By A2FPGFSPYZEAS0 on 2005-01-01
  After reading over 50 parenting books, taking classes and praying daily, I have found Dr. Ginott's approach works better and more consistenly with children and adults. It is the most respectful approach, allowing children to learn from their choices, but let's the parents set the limits and the consequences. The approach informs the child prior to an action what the consequence will be, in a calm, non-threatening way. The child makes decisions and lives with the outcome. There is no yelling, no telling and no constant coersion. I have used this approach for years and even now with my teens. They respect my decisions because they know, THEY have a say in the outcome. They have learned to respectfully negotiate a win-win situation and we have very few disputes now. Works on employees, spouses, neighbors and in-laws as well! Fabulous!
  
  
• If you only buy one parenting book, this should be it!
  By A1M9C0PV2UMBFW on 2003-08-08
  The revised edition of this book not only has Haim's original language and sensitivity, but also includes the wise voices of two parenting and communications experts. Together, these three authors help parents understand children in a way that makes meaningful interactions possible. This book is a timely solution to the hurried parenting we find ourselves doing, even though we never intend to "miss" our kids emotionally. This book is easy to read, sensitive to the insecurities we all share as parents, and full of real-life recommendations that can actually be implemented. This book will be the best money you spend on your children.
  
  
• This is a fabulous book about communicating effectively
  By A39DBKL4WVB5DE on 2005-04-27
  I have often wondered what is the "right way" to respond to a child who is misbehaving and/or upset. Dr. Ginott answered my questions -- plus the many more that comes with having a child. Dr. Ginott teaches us how to communicate not just with our children, but also with other adults. This has been a very eye-opening experience to learn that the way I communicate with others, especially those who are closest to me, may not be the most effective. Dr. Ginott has a great way of teaching through example in his book. It's a great read and a book that I use constantly. It also makes a very good babyshower gift!
  
  
• My favourite parenting book
  By A1J9BZLPU3UTDK on 2007-02-25
  This book is a wonderful addition to any parents' library. I am a child psychiatrist who recommends it frequently to parents. It clearly discusses how important language is in our relationship with our children without being judgmental or preachy. It clearly outlines verbal patterns that many parents get into and helpful strategies to get out of those patterns. The premise is simple --- we need to listen more. However, if you are someone who recognizes this is easier said than done, I recommend reading this book. I get hundreds of books out of the library; there are few that I ultimately purchase. This was one of those few.
  
  
• Best Parenting Book I've Read
  By A2YZ81WIEF41N3 on 2006-08-18
  The whole premise of the book is that love and common sense are not enough to raise most children well. Good parenting skills need to be *learned*. This book gives terrific examples of good and not so good parenting with each topic it covers. I've read at least a dozen parenting books (I have a very "highly spirited" 9 year old boy) and this one has made a big difference for me in my parenting. The emphasis on validating children's feelings somehow resonated better with me with this book than others, I think because the authors are particularly gifted in presenting the child's perspective. Using just a couple of the techniques in the book, I have been able to keep my son's emotional outbursts to a minimum -- and therefore my own, too. Better for me, and clearly better for him! I understand him better now.
  
  
• Essential support for skilled, humane parenting
  By on 2003-08-08
  This is a wonderful book, intelligent and invaluable to any parent. Puts us in touch with the emotional vulnerability of children--but also with their potential strength and independence given responsive parenting. Many vivid examples provide enormous help to parents wanting reinforcement of healthy habits and/or new strategies to reach their children in ways that will enhance the parent-child bond. A must-read!
  
  
• Fabulous book for parents with children of all ages
  By AGFGLHNHUT3B5 on 2004-02-02
  This is one of the best parenting book I have read. It offers excellent insight into the feelings of our children and why the often act they way they do, and helps parents learn practical ways of responding to them to invoke more appropriate behavior and help express and share their feelings.
  
  
• Wish I Had This Sooner
  By A1LQRY7VG131JC on 2006-03-17
  My first visit with my daughter after I read this & I used one of the principles learned. Instead of her being mad at me for days because of my reaction to a situation, she was mad at me for 5 minutes.
  
  Get this book, it will save you hours, days, years of grief and your child will be much the better for it.
  
  
• A beautiful book
  By APKZ02752JSXB on 2008-01-06
  Dr. Ginott is truly one of my heroes. His books are not just about parenting but about how to create strong, respectful relationships. While some of his phrasing will appear quaint by today's standards, readers can find updated and operationalized guides to implementing his ideas in works by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish ('How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk' is in my opinion the greatest parenting book ever published). As a child psychologist and a mother, not a day goes by when I do not think of his words, or try to reach higher for the goal of healing the world through parenting.
  
  
• Wow... an eye-opener...
  By A8F9L82VS1WWH on 2008-02-16
  This book was recommended to me by an elementary school counselor after a child in my son's school experienced violent death at the hands of her father; my son was having a very difficult time dealing with it. I was feeling so helpless and felt compelled to fix, fix, fix my child's pain. This book helped me truly understand that sometimes I need to be quiet and just listen. It gave me practical, ready-to-use words and phrases that encourage communication and allow for the parent to facilitate and guide, rather than moralize or give advice. Before my reading, my son said, "You keep trying to teach me lessons in this, Mom...." and I thought I was doing the right thing. Between Parent and Child had sections dealing exactly with this type of dialogue and how to work through difficult conversations without the lecture. IT WORKED for our immediate problem and continues to work. I am using its lessons in my marriage and at work and find that my communication overall has improved. Highly readable and thought-provoking.
  
  
• The best
  By A2K8U1PG149SAK on 2007-10-24
  I first bought 'Between Parent and Child' a long time ago when I was in the midst of having babies and raising my children. This book saved my life and probably the lives of my four wonderful children, too. It is full of common sense, love and caring - all the things we need more of in parenting these days. I have passed my original copy around to my children as the advice was needed, and finally bought a copy for everyone to own.
  This book teaches you discipline for you and your children. A must for every parent who wants to raise an adult and not a child.
  
  
• Thoughtful guide for interpersonal relationships
  By A3Q59GYQF2G38 on 2008-01-18
  I got this book for my husband, with an alterior motive since I wanted it for myself.:) I like books on child psychology, but this one is my favorite so far. The best thing about it is that it applies to all kinds of relationships. Ironically, it helped me communicate with my mother. In the book, it's a child who hurls "You don't love me!" as both a weapon to divert attention from the actual reason of the fight and to get an assurance that even an angry parent still loves him. The book suggests to answer that it's not a good time to discuss the feeling of love, but to talk about what really made the parent upset. Otherwise, just yelling "Of course I love you!" can only make a further impression that you really don't have any loving feelings (which you probably can't feel at the time of the fight). Believe it or not, it's my mother who uses that same "You don't love me!" trick. Anyway, you got to read it yourself.
  
  
• Who was Dr Spock???
  By A2PC9VXSQ9T6QF on 2007-09-17
  I so agree with you. My childhood was not exactly a fairytail story. And I was scared that I wasn't going to be a good parent. But, I was going to change that! My husband and I brought 3 little boys into the big world in 3 years. They were going to be great, fantastic, successful human beings. Dr. Spock just wasn't cutting it in my world. What did he say again??? Then, I heard Dr Hiam Ginott on tv and knew I had to get his book. I watched him every time he was on tv. He was good. Then he died. That is too bad because even my children's parenting generation can learn great details from him. I had friends who commented that they liked my techniques. Mine? Not. Dr Hiam Ginott's.
  
  
• Finally, something that works...
  By A1SZIK2VRS0SSR on 2008-02-08
  The techniques in this book were miraculous in working with my son. Finally a dicipline method based on respect. It has been very helpful in dealing with more effective communication and difficult discussions with children and adults.
  
  
• Stellar advice, True Wisdom, Irreplaceable
  By A1IQ4F168TSCBV on 2008-05-15
  I can't say enough about how valuable this book is. If I could meet the author myself to get down on my knees and thank him, I would. He has given such wise advice about the importance of caring about children's feelings. He has taught me more effectively than anyone else in my life what it really means to respect other people. I try to keep his principles in mind every day when raising my three children, ages six, four and sixteen months. Demonstrating the fact that I care about their feelings has helped me tremendously in disciplining them. They are well-behaved and happy children (most of the time!) Excellent, superb. The wisdom is sound and deserves much more than a quick glance. The more time you invest in internalizing the principles, the more you will get out of it. I am forever indebted to Dr. Ginott!!
  
  
• "Aha" experience on every page
  By A2GUOVNTUX9IFE on 2007-10-13
  Full of real-world examples of communication with children, excellently structured and rich with insights, this book stands out for me from the crowd of parenting books. This is the book I come back to most often - re-reading the many passages I had previously underlined. I also recommend Einstein Never Used Flashcards by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Magic Years by Selma H. Fraiberg.
  
  
• Great guidance
  By A299OBXVVK01DB on 2007-11-24
  This book, once you read past a lot of the story telling, seems to be very good. It offers alternatives to discipline than the typical yelling, smacking, or time-outs etc! I have actually tried many of these scenarios on my own child and they work very well. I definitely recommend this product to anyone who is willing to take advice and is trying to raise a child that will function well in society!
  
  
• ginott
  By A1SVKKFH6OO52R on 2008-01-18
  I'm not finished yet, but I can see that the principles underlying Ginott's discussion are sound and based on love and respect. For that reason, it ranks high on my list of parenting books. Principles matter more to me than words or actions and if I'm appropriately principle based then the "right" or best words and actions toward my children will follow. Great book!
  
  
• Best Parenting Book I've Read
  By A3UKNGSMCXTP8A on 2008-02-21
  I have never felt strongly enough about a product to rate it or recommend it online, but this is hands-down the best parenting book I have read (and there have been many) Every parent (or caregiver) can benefit from reading and re-reading this book.
  
  
• A parent's best friend
  By ACTFITMW8BP3B on 2008-05-09
  Ginott's "Between Parent and Child" played an important role for my family as I reared my daughter in the 1960's and 1970's. It is a thoughtful book that affirms the dignity of the child and fosters the parents' understanding of child development. My daughter will have her first child this summer and I purchased this book for her. It is relevant today as it was 40 years ago.
  
  
• Positive Parenting
  By A26OWF67AC44WI on 2008-05-21
  He advocates showing children by our example how to be kind and gentle, and yet powerful too. The only draw back is this book is weak in the area of sexual identity. His first version of this book is not like that. I do not agree with everything in this book, but most of it is so true. This book helps me parent my children and myself much more positively.
  
  

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