What to Expect the First Year, Second Ed Reviews

• I was suprised

  
  By A2KG9LTWGBPWLC on 2003-05-24
  I was suprised how much I liked this book, since I didn't like the What to Expect pregnancy guide. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, with three sibilings I helped take care of and a I was a Red Cross certified babysitter for years. But, when I had my own baby, I realized how much I had forgotten or simply didn't know. What is the normal body temperature for an infant? How many times a day should he have a bowel movement or a wet diaper, and why is that something important to know to keep track of baby's health? When is it okay to begin feeding your baby rice cereal? When is it okay to start on solids? When can you begin giving him those "risk of allergy" foods, such as strawberries, nuts and wheat? I found this book a wonderful resource of imformation, since the doctor's office is not open at 3 a.m., but I'm up taking care of the baby, wondering these things.
  There are some very sensitive childraising issues which they present in this book. One of which is breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding. This book presents a non-biased view of the reasons behind each choice. If you are bottlefeeding, it contains information on how to do it safely and with love. If you are breastfeeding, you will need more information than is presented here, and I suggest you read up on books specifically covering breastfeeding and join the la leche league for support and to answer your questions.
  The other huge issue in this book, is laying your baby down to "cry it out" and training your baby to sleep through the night. If you are a supporter of the family bed, just ignore the information on sleeping through the night and make use of the rest of the advice in the book.
  This book DOES NOT accuse your baby of being manipulative, or accuse you of spoiling your baby by picking him up and holding him. This book also does not demand that you put your baby on a rigid schedule to supress their little will. A matter of fact, the book states specifically that you cannot spoil a baby by holding them, and tells you that it is medically necessary for the baby to wake you up in the middle of the night to eat during the first three months of life. What the authors are talking about when they talk about "crying it out" is that, babies will cry because they are tired or overstimulated, in which case they NEED to just lay down for 10 to 15 minutes so that he/she can go to sleep. If you believe differently, fine. You should raise your baby how you believe is right, not how ANY book tells you to. But, dismissing this book in entirety means missing out on a very useful informative source.
  
  

• Not The Best

  
  By A222LQEPE7O7BV on 2002-07-03
  ... To start off with I do not understand why this series is so popular - is it the good title or just that they have been around some time? When we found out that my wife was pregnant, my wife and I went out and got an arm full of books both pregnancy and the first year. We have been reading them and comparing the different books to each other and of course how they relate to our experiences. With this as our background we both have found that this series is not what we ar looking for or would recommend.

  The positive side is that the book it did seam to provide some good information in a reference method. It also gave us a general idea on what was going on and some of the things to look for. It was well written and it did not get dull or over laden with technical medical terms. It also did seem to be comprehensive covering almost everything you would need to know the first year. The book can easily be used as a reference book due to the good layout and well-organized chapters. It is also easy to understand. We felt the best section is the guide to common childhood illnesses and how to treat them.

  What we did not like is the authors of the book write in a style that seams to be one of an overbearing adult wagging her finger at you. I don't think we needed or cared for the tone the book had about the authors militant views on what not to do. At times it did seam to be somewhat alarming and it made certain aspects of parenthood sound like a burdensome chore. They also did seam to be convinced that the development time frames were non-negotiable, if your child did something too soon or a little late then watch out, because there could be trouble ahead. Overall, it is a nice reference book with an overbearing tone. If being talked down to aggravates you then I would look someplace else.
  
  

• I like it, but it has some flaws

  
  By AVEVNXZGYY2CE on 2007-01-09
  I absolutely hated What to Expect When You're Expecting. Hated it. So when a friend gave me this book as a gift when I was pregnant, I kind of put it to the side, never expecting to use it.
  
  Well, I surprised myself. I actually refer to this book a lot in caring for my now almost-6-month-old son.
  
  What I like about the book is that the questions that it addresses are very much like real-life questions people ask about their babies. Some of the questions are word-for-word questions my husband and I have asked each other. That makes the information very accessible and I think, reassuring. You get a sense that "Oh good, my five-month-old is not the only one in the world who seems to be coughing just to get my attention."
  
  There's a really comprehensive amount of information about nearly every parenting topic you can think of. In particular, the section about infant illness is invaluable. Great charts of symptoms and treatments for those symptoms, explanations about how to do home treatments, etc. My son has gotten a couple of colds, one of which brought on a croupy cough, and the book's advice about steam treatments and a quick trip outside helping were right-on, and exactly what my mom and grandma had told me worked to help croup. Without the book's specific description of what croup and stridor sound like, and how to treat it, I probably would have ended up in the emergency room with my son.
  
  That being said, here are the things I don't like about this book.
  - The information is supposedly unbiased, but the author comes down firmly on the pro or con side of an issue and there's not a lot of doubt about what the author feels you "should" or "should not" do. The author is against pacifiers, against co-sleeping, is much too cautionary about babywearing, and advocates CIO as a way to get a baby to sleep - there's a whole section about how to do CIO in the six-month chapter. The book is also very, VERY pro-breastfeeding. I breastfeed, so it didn't "bother" me, per se, but if a mom has to or chooses to formula feed, the constant references to breastfeeding and questions about breastfeeding that are found over and over and OVER in the book's pages would probably be a big turnoff. There's some lip service paid to "well, formula feeding is an OK choice" but there's a VERY clear and VERY strong message that you should breastfeed until your child is a year old, period. I know a lot of women who tried valiantly to breastfeed and just could not, and I have had my own challenges with it. I am all for breastfeeding advocacy and I consider myself an advocate for breastfeeding, but the tone and the repeated admonishments to breastfeed for a year were over-the-top even for me.
  - The aforementioned section about CIO was pretty terrible. There were no discussions about ways to avoid CIO other than extended family bedsharing (which the author was lukewarm about recommending, at best), and there is a middle ground between the two. There was also no discussion about the fact that CIO doesn't work for all children - some kids are crying escalators, they don't calm down after crying for an extended period but instead get more upset, and trying CIO with a baby like that is going to be traumatizing for all involved. There's a pretty terrifying section that talks about how to deal with the noise of CIO, by notifying your neighbors, trying to muffle sound, etc. I just have to say, if your baby is crying that loud, that piercingly, and that long when you try CIO, you should consider the possibility that CIO is not working and is actually scaring or harming your child. CIO is a great tool for some kids, but not for all kids, and the book treats CIO like it is the cure-all for sleep problems. You get a sense, reading that section, that there really is no alternative to CIO other than having your baby sleep with you until they're 10, and there are other options (the No Cry Sleep Solution has some great suggestions about the sleep issue). There's also no discussion of the idea that nightwaking, especially for breastfed babies, is a developmentally normal and appropriate thing and will get better with time even without resorting to sleep training measures.
  - The developmental milestones are treated as gospel truth and there is some alarmist information about "if your kid doesn't do X by Y month there could be a BIG PROBLEM." There's no discussion about what developmental milestones really mean in terms of development or the idea that babies can have developmental strengths in one area and weaknesses in another. My baby has always been WAY ahead in his gross motor development and lagging in his fine motor, which is a totally normal thing. But there's really no allowance for that, or explanation for why that would happen, in this book.
  
  Overall I think this book is good and I don't think it's nearly as guilt- or panic-inducing as the Expecting book, or the Sears Baby Book (which is a whole other review). I think it's a worthwhile addition to the library of any new parent, if you can take some of the information in it with a grain of salt.
  
  

• Great Resource

  
  By on 2001-07-17
  First, I would like to tell that despite one objection I have against this book, I loved it and my husband loves it and we use it frequently.

  This book will give you insight about various child-care issues (from first bath, through first feeding of solids, to the home safety issues parents of a baby need to be aware of), it will answer numerous questions new mothers have (sometimes even those you might be ashamed to ask because they seem like something you should know without asking), it will show you basics of baby CPR, help you decide when to call doctor (and how to select one). You will find there overview of basic baby illnesses as well as various recipes for your baby's newly found taste for solids. It will show you how to stimulate your baby's development and how to make the time you spend with your baby the "quality time". It will encourage you to hug and cuddle with your baby as well as gently teach your baby some basic behavioral lessons. The best thing is that it never makes a pressure (or guilt) on you as to which course of action to take when raising your baby; it leaves the decision up to you.

  Readers should remember though, that they need to read the authors' notes about the book and they should also check on any information they disagree with (in any book, website, or flier) instead of blindly taking for granted everything that's on the paper. This would ease the frustration of many readers that doubted the worth of this book.

  I've read the Sear's Baby Book that many readers liked so much, and I must say that it is not really reasonable to follow for a family with average income and average work-schedule. I tried to follow advice in Sear's book and only ended up exhausted, guilt-ridden (I could never do enough) with fussy baby. Then I switched to "What to expect..." and I'm still with this book. It's great resource. My only one objection about this book as well as explanation why some readers might not have enjoyed it too much follows.

  My only dislike about this book is the opinion that breastfeeding should be stopped at nine months. Few years ago, APA recommended that mothers should try breastfeed at least one year. This book needs new reviewed edition that reflects this recommendation.

  About people's comments: * First, realize that this book is not and can not be the "know-it-all-be-always-right" book about babies. The topic here is so broad that that you will for sure find yourself disagreeing on some items while liking other ones. Authors themselves say that there is not one "right" parenting style; you have to decide which parenting style you like and which one is therefore right for you. The style described in this book works for me great though -- I spend lots of time with my baby, but I still manage the household tasks and help my husband pay the bills with my part-time job.

  *Second, read and remember authors' notes saying that babies develop in their own pace and the monthly-development guidelines are only approximate. I found this especially true. One big lesson parents get is that babies do new things when THEY are ready (gosh, it was hard to master concept though); you can help them, but at the end, it's them who decides that it's the right time. This book tries to teach you that. Therefore, do not get influenced by those readers that complain about the month-to-month develompment guidelines, they probably missed the note under those guidelines. Also, the books advises you to check with pediatrician when you are uncertain about your baby's development -- great advice that can save you lots of worries (and unfortunatelly, many baby books do not really try to work with pediatricians).

  *Third, the question/answer format of references is great WHEN you use index in the back of the book (as is logical for book that offers such an amount of information about such wide topic). I easily found answer for most of my questions in this book and it saved me numerous trips to my doctor.

  *Fourth, the "crying it out" concept is an option/suggestion from authors of the book. They do not say you have to do that, it is advice for somebody who is interested in opinion. If you are not interested in opinion, or if it frustrates you, do not read it and do not follow it. There can't be right answer for everyone. As authors mention, there are many parenting styles and almost none of them are wrong. It's up to you which one you choose. And whatever you choose, it's right. Many critical comments about this book failed to see this principle and failed to be tolerant to other people's parenting styles.

  *Fifth, you should not taky any book as you exclusive source of information. Always talk to your pediatrition about your concerns, search the internet, talk to other mothers. Pick what you think is best. It may be something else than this or other book says, but hey, if you think it's the best, it probably is.

  Overall, this book is great resource and I recommend it to everybody.
  
  

• Basic newborn care, but not for intelligent, loving parents

  
  By on 1999-08-02
  I'm a nurse who read this book and was angry at many of the suggestions. First of all, the newborn care advice is basic, which is fine for some parents, but not for those who want more grown-up advice. The advice to leave your baby alone to cry is absurd. What about the basic infant developmental level of "trust vs. mistrust"? This advice could lead parents to have a whiney, insecure baby. I think a recommendation of lots of love and affection would be more appropriate. Infants who are held often and who have parents who respond to their needs are more secure and end up crying less after the first few months. Also, what is wrong with letting a newborn sleep in your bed? In many other countries, this is normal behavior and it not harmful to a baby. The more affection, the better! The author is very condescending and opinionated and isn't giving good advice when it comes to bonding. Also, I was offended at the sections about adoptive parents, as if most adoptive parents are ill-prepared and clueless about babies. And, breastfeeding is possible with adoption! However, the month-by-month expected baby behavior is helpful. This book has some very helpful advice but the lack of advice and encouragement related to loving, affectionate bonding and mmeeting the emotional needs of your baby, makes this book highly overpromoted.
  
  
• Invaluable Reference Book
  By on 1998-11-17
  I too was absolutely flabbergasted at the number of people (or is it one person posting several times?) who dismissed this 800 page encyclopedia because of two small and unimportant sections on breast-feeding and "cry-it-out." You're not going to agree with everything in here. But the authors never intend that. Instead, they offer an invaluable reference book for parents. Want to know what that red blotch on your kid's arm is? This is the only book that will tell you. (It's probably a strawberry birthmark, very common, rarely lasts beyond age 10, etc.) The Q&A style is great, it leaves you feeling that you're not the only one who has these questions. And 99% of the book's content is pretty straightforward (why is my baby fascinated by mirrors? why are her eyes that weird bluish-brown color?)We found the authors' pregnancy book invaluable for the same reason-- it was a bit too treacly about pregnancy (e.g. "If you're feeling nauseous knit a sweater") but provided a wonderful, factual guide to what was going on with both fetus and mother.Parenting is 99% instinct. You can't rely on a book to tell you WHAT to do. This book is great in that it explains WHY things are happening.We find the Sears to be unrealistic and believe that people who fanatically follow their advice run the risk of losing any sense of self, which is way more harmful than the occasional bottle of formula, since babies rarely thrive with parents who resent them.A good supplement to this book (What to Expect) is Vicki Iovine's "Girlfriend's Guide To The First Year." It's hilarious and guaranteed to make you feel that you're a pretty good parent after all.Use this book to answer all the "why" questions you have. It'll cut down on the number of calls you make to the pediatrician (or at the very least make you feel a little more knowledgeable when you do.)
  
  
• An excellent guide
  By A10RRE472E9NGP on 2001-01-05
  I was very surprised by the negative reviews of this book that I read here and decided to add my two cents for some balance. While the authors certainly have definite opinions on subjects like the family bed, they present some very clear and logical reasons for their positions. Further, having used this book extensively for the first 10-1/2 months of my child's life, I have had no issue with the information presented on nursing (which I still do) or getting baby to sleep through the night. The authors are not heartless, as some of the reviewers here would have you believe, and do not suggest that parents always let babies cry it out. That's ridiculous and I don't know how these readers got that from this book.

  I live in a town where we only have family physicians, no peditricians. The information in this book with regards to developmental milestones (which they are very careful to note are only guidelines with a wide range of what's normal), nursing (of which they are very supportive), how and when to start feeding solid foods, disciplining baby with heart, medical and first aid guidelines, stimulating baby to encourage development, and other areas is excellent. This book has been a real lifeline in the absense of a good pediatrician. As an overall guide, this book is truly outstanding and has been my main reference book. Additionally, there is excellent information dealing with premature infants, babies with special needs, postpartum depression, and sibbling issues, as well as other areas.

  Do the authors have definite opinions on controversial issues in baby care? Yes, but they do present thorough reasoning and facts in support of their positions. And if you don't agree, you can find information that supports your position on these issues! I am well-read and quite opinionated myself, but I found the book logical and not overburdened with propoganda. It is easy to read, well-organized, and thorough. This book could easily be your only guide for parenting in the first year of your child's life, although it makes no claim to be the definitive book on baby care. Obviously, I recommend it at least as a good addition to your library of books on the subject.
  
  

• Not for new-age coddlers.
  By A3FUZYDQ7QD3KE on 2001-07-23
  .... My wife and I are first-time parents, and we had several parenting guides to use during our baby's first year. This book became our primary reference, because we found the advice to be sensible, well-organized, easy to understand, and ultimately, true to life. Fact: babies sometime stop crying on their own if they are not immediately swept up into the loving busoms of their mothers. Ours did. And when she didn't, we soon went to her and consoled her. The result of all this "abuse" is that she's a healthy, loving, intelligent 15-month old.

  If you're an overprotective milquetoast who thinks that any parent who would leave a child to cry for more than 10 seconds is some sort of ogre, by all means, do not bother with this barbaric book. If you think that any effort to try to shape a baby's behavior is per se child abuse, then steer clear of this horrific tripe.

  If, however, you give your baby a little more credit, and if you also believe that you're capable of realizing that all written advice on parenting should be applied sensibly to your own situation, this book is an invaluable and easy-to-understand resource.
  
  

• No reassurance here, part 3
  By AZGXZ2UUK6X on 2004-01-02
  For some reason, some parents apparently don't understand that the baby is a part of the family, and in the 9th month, they wonder when the baby should eat with the family. What message are you giving the baby when she has to eat alone and not with the family? Yes, it might be difficult to "spoonfeed" the baby, but really, most babies are ready to start eating when they start self-feeding. Spoonfeeding is a holdover from the days of incomplete infant formulas- parents had to add solids to the baby's diet in order to ensure that she was getting decent nutrition. A breastfed baby will wisely skip spoonfeeding. Security *objects* are discussed with little worry- where there should be. Again, these are baby humans and they need *human* contact, not the substitute contact of a blanket or a bear. If a child is overly attached to a "thing", she would probably benefit from more time with her loved caregivers. When the baby is distracted at nursing, at this young age, it is suggested that the baby may be weaning. This is absolutely untrue; it is a nursing strike. Instead of telling mothers that her milk may taste bad, or that the baby's nutritional needs might be changing, mothers need to be told to contact a support person or group like La Leche League and get help getting the baby back on the breast. (www.lalecheleague.org). Weaning from the breast before a baby is one year old is counter to the AAP statement on the Use of Human Milk and is "premature weaning". If the baby is just distracted a little, make sure you take time to sit in a quiet room every day and nurse. Co-sleeping with it's attendant nightnursing are good ways to prevent premature weaning.

  In the 10th month, we are really, really PUSHED into considering weaning, with more than 2 pages of how to accomplish this. Again, babies don't need or want to be weaned this early. Encouragement for long term nursing would be a lot more helpful to most mothers and babies. We learn that some babies bang their head on the wall or crib and are assured that this is normal. Again, this is NOT normal. Family bedded children never engage in this pathological behaviour because they don't need to. They are well stimulated by the love of their family nearby. Thinking about those poor babies, craving stimulation or endorphins by headbanging makes me physically ill. It shouldn't happen. The section on "discipline" is pretty unnecessary when entire good books have been written on the subject. I would read "The Discipline Book" by Wm and Martha Sears instead, later reading any of the Faber and Mazlish, or Mary Sheedy Kurchinka's books.

  To celebrate the 11th month of our babies life, we are just told how to wean our babies, no "ifs and or buts". Just wean them. No reason why. Poor babies. Many moms continue to nurse happily after the first year passes, and when they hit this chapter, they realize that their baby is just a baby and still needs mother's milk. It breaks my heart to think there are mothers, fathers and pediatricians who think that weaning has to happen at this very young age. Sadly, the box on "raising a healthy heart" forgets to mention that breastfeeding is crucial in maintaining heart, and every other organ's health.

  The 12th month assumes that weaning has happened and devotes a lot of ink to how to feed the baby who is now missing the most nutritious food that should have been available to her. It's asking a lot of a mother to wean the baby to worry about diet- I knew my babies were getting sound nutrition from my milk at that age, and my life was easier because of it.

  This really isn't a book that mothers should be encouraged to read, and I am puzzled as to its popularity. In part, I think it's because many medical model obstetricians give the pregnancy version away to their pregnant patients, thereby endorsing the entire series. Bookstores order huge quantities of them, likely due to pricing structures. When women see the huge stacks of the books, they just "know" it's a good book so they buy it. Once it's purchased, parenting is made to seem so easy, if you just do things as the book says. OTOH, I see many of these books in thrift stores and at garage sales that appear unread, so maybe women realize that the book is pretty useless. Parents, please rely on your intuition and books that empower you like "The Baby Book" by the Sears or Katie Allison Granju's "Attachment Parenting". Don't fuel the multi-million dollar baby "thing" industry. Instead, spend time with your baby, breastfeed them and don't buy into training them to be little consumers instead of loving, caring humans!
  
  

• Very Good, But Buyer Should Still Beware
  By AVTI1QBNYU045 on 2004-09-29
  Set up in a Q & A format, the What to Expect parenting books are full of interesting questions, practical information and worthy advice. No first-time parent can afford to be without one.
  
  Which is not to say these tomes are gospel. No, rather than divine inspiration, the ultimate wellspring of facts, ideas and opinions is purely human. And while the humans involved (Dr. Murkoff, et al) are qualified professionals and certainly very well-intentioned, they do not come to the readership without their prejudices and cultural agenda. And while we certainly cannot fault them for this, for we all have professional and personal biases, it is important to recognize that the biases are there and when these biases are engaged. Not always an easy task
  
  One of these biases is the consistent (and probably unconscious) favoring of consumer culture. For example, the authors take the stance that toddlers and preschoolers should learn as early as possible to go to sleep on their own -- a perfectly valid philosophical stance. They go on to discourage parents from rocking, singing or otherwise cajoling little ones to sleep. So far, so good. If, however, you find yourself parent to a child who simply cannot get the hang of lulling himself to sleep, Murkoff encourages tapes, light displays and, in extreme cases, a product that attaches to the crib and simulates the sensations of a car ride.
  
  Well, which is it? Should a child have to get herself to sleep or not? And if we allow that some kids develop this capacity later than others, why is it okay to use plastic gadgets from the store but not mom or dad's loving arms? In the long run, isn't the latter healthier? If not, an author should give scientific data supporting her position OR admit that the position is not scientific, but philosophical. Murkoff does neither.
  
  (In at least one case, this pro-marketplace bias even defies reason and works against the health of children. In Toddler Years, Murkoff denounces the apple boycott of the late `80s, early `90s -- an indefensible position. What should the public do? Buy and feed their children apples they know to be tainted???)
  
  And speaking of science, don't look for much in Murkoff's arguments concerning the vaccine controversy. Murkoff understandably takes the orthodox position on vaccines. Her disdain for those who raise concerns is a little harder to understand, but these days there are enough people with enough concerns that the issue can't be readily ignored and so Murkoff feels a need to address them.
  
  However, instead of mustering data to defend the orthodox position, Murkoff stoops to ad hominem attacks against the dissenting minority. Considering last year's revelations that when combined, the mercury level in childhood vaccines did indeed exceed safety standards (safety standards for adults, to boot), it behooves every professional to be professional in her thinking and method when arguing for one side or the other.
  
  (NOTE: parents should check with their pediatricians to see whether thimerisol and other mercury additives are present in the vaccines used in his/her practice, and to what level.)
  
  These are not petty criticisms. They are important tools for understanding Murkoff and the non-scientific aspects of her advice. Readers need to be aware of any expert's bias so as to separate fact from opinion. There is so much in What to Expect that is wonderful and useful, but parents still need to make philosophical decisions based on what's best for their families. Knowing where Murkoff is coming from helps us to sift out those ideas which will not work for everybody and judge them against our own individual needs and beliefs.
  
  
  
  
  
• Poor organization & dated material
  By A1NQPFDB5J94NT on 2000-05-23
  This book, unfortunately, is not the same quality as "What to Expect when You're Expecting". The information is okay but it has not been thoroughly updated. (Example: the current breastfeeding recommendation is 12 months, but the book says 6 months.) Moreover, it uses the month-by-month organization that the previous "What to Expect" book did. The month-by-month organization does not work when following baby's development. There is too much variability. For example, some babies will start crawling by the 4th or 5th month. Mine was almost 8 months old before she started. Example #2: Solids are covered in the 4th month chapter, however, you can start as late as 6 months.

  As a result, I had to consult several chapters to get all the information on a particular subject (sleeping problems, for example). Then I had to mark the pages so I could find it again later. Sometimes I could not find what I was looking for until after a lengthy search. (Let's see, would that be in the 2nd month or the 4th? Hmmm...not here...which chapter could it be?)

  It wasn't long before I looked for a new baby book. I've found "The Baby Book" by Sears & Sears to be excellent. The information is well-organized, quite current, and quite thorough. It is organized more by subject than by month, but it still has a list of suggested milestones for each month. There's also plenty of suggestions and real-life examples as experienced by the Sears and by their patients. I use it all the time and I haven't gone back to the "What to Expect the First Year" book even once!
  
  

• It's Just Okay
  By on 2000-04-30
  This book is sometimes helpful for referencing when you need to know a vaccination schedule or if you want to know smart your kid is when he's surpassed the "Might Even Be Doing..." section for his age. Other than that, I found it pretty UNhelpful.

  I disliked the arbitrary nature of the authors' advice on crying especially. In the advice for the first month they (rightly, in my opinion)advise the hypothetical questioner that it's impossible to spoil a newborn and that she should pick the baby up when she cries. But all of a sudden, by the third or fourth month, they're telling you that the baby is "manipulating" you and you'll need to harden your heart and let her cry it out. They even are subtly insulting to parents who don't let their children do so, implying that those parents are wimps.

  I also didn't like how they invalidated parents' choices that don't agree with typical Western childrearing practices. They really come down hard against co-sleeping especially, giving outdated reasons against it. I think a better approach would have been giving pros and cons, then giving safety measures to take, and trusting the parent to make his or her own choice.

  Also, the advice on breastfeeding is often medically inaccurate and disagrees with the AAP's recommendations regarding that practice. A better all-around childcare manual is the Baby Book or, if you're a Christian, The Complete Book of Christian Childcare, by the Sears.

  I appreciated the section on Best Odds recipes only after my son turned 1, because that was the first time when he could eat any of them!
  
  

• Okay for medical issues, not for psychological ones.
  By on 2000-06-03
  Although I liked their pregnancy book, What to Expect When You're Expecting, I really disliked this book. First of all, a month-by-month format is unrealistic for infant development. "Normal" development in infants varies a great deal--you CANNOT predict what will happen in a specific month. If your baby (like most) does not follow their month-by-month timetable, you can end up worrying for no reason (a baby who hits a milestone early has NO longterm advantage over one who hits a milestone late). Furthermore, the authors have very definite ideas that babies should be left to cry it out, even suggesting soundproofing the nursery. They say that you should not try to comfort your teething baby who is crying piteously in the night, and if you do they suggest you are being foolish. I prefer Sears and Sears' Parenting the Fussy Baby and High Needs Child, and The Baby Book, for information on infant care--the high needs book is especially reassuring, and also includes a critical chapter on avoiding mother burnout.
  
  
• A Great Reference Guide.. give it a chance
  By on 2000-01-29
  A very good book for quick reference. It seems like every question that my husband and I have had, has been found pretty quickly in the book. A lot of the following give terrible reviews especially when it comes to breastfeeding. I certainly don't agree with them. I breastfed my first for 1 year and I'm planning on breastfeeding by 10 1/2 month old for another couple of months. Believe me, I agree whole-heartedly that breastfeeding is the absolute best for your baby, and I did not find this book opposed to it at all. Don't read this book from cover to cover while your pregnant.. it will scare you.. but read it month by month as your baby grows. Or, just get it off the shelf when a question comes up.. you're sure to find the answer. This book is not a bible, but it sure is a helpful guide. I would highly recommend it for any new mother! Have fun and welcome to the most precious honor ever to be given.. motherhood!
  
  
• 671 pages of rubbish
  By A9JCE58TSK4JV on 2004-09-28
  It gets one star because zero stars are not an option. This book - and indeed, the entire What to Expect series - is patronizing, misleading and oftentimes dead wrong. Why educate when you can frighten? Why present basic facts and allow parents to make their own informed choices when you can lecture?
  
  In particular, beware any advice What to Expect gives with regards to breastfeeding - it is outdated, incorrect and will destroy your nursing relationship.
  
  
  
• Mostly helpful--use some common sense!!!
  By on 1999-08-10
  Good Grief! After reading some of the other reviews of this book, you would think the authors are advocating child abuse or something. I just reviewed the section on diapers and I don't get where the reviewer is coming from who says the authors think cloth is the "worst thing you can do for your child." Looks to me like they are offering pros/cons of BOTH cloth and disposable (yes, disposables have some advantages!) and letting parents make an INFORMED decision. Yes, they discuss weaning from the breast at one year--guess what, some mothers are ready to wean by then and don't need a guilt trip for their choice! If you're not ready to wean by then, don't. Its that simple. I appreciated the way they gave BOTH sides of issues, acknowledging that every child/parent is different and what works for one may not work for another. Unlike Dr. Sears, who implies that if you let your child sleep in a crib, alone (gasp!) you must be a cold, unfeeling parent. Bottom line--take what you find useful from this book, ignore the rest. USE YOUR COMMON SENSE!!!!
  
  
• WTE Disappointment
  By on 1999-12-28
  WTE was recommended to me by many friends when I was expecting my first child. I received WTE as a gift and avidly read every word. I was very disppointed by many of the recommendations regarding breastfeeding and introducing solids. WTE has bad information regarding both breastfeeding and weaning. WTE's recommendation to introduce solds at 4 months and to wean at 10 months contradicts the AAP's recommendation that breastmilk should be the only food for the first 6 months and babies should be breasfed to at least 1 year. The WHO also recommends breastfeeding until at least age 2. Unfortunately, WTE is an example of a popular book that is spreading misinformation. Readers beware!
  
  
• Okay on medical info; condescending and contradictory advice
  By A186EX2ARWPXNX on 1998-04-26
  What new mother doesn't want a guide to every aspect of her baby's care? She will get it here but in a one-sided, smug manner. I only found it helpful when my baby was sick. Other readers have commented on the cry-it-out method and the lack of knowledge about breastfeeding--the authors recommend weaning before a year because the APA used to say nurse for six months and it's harder to wean after a year. Well, I have news for you! Now the APA says nurse for a year! The authors enjoy their cute quips so much that they don't realize that they contradict themselves. For instance, in one place they say not to worry about a pacifier because the child will outgrow it by a few years of age, but a thumb-sucking habit is terrible and should be broken by three months. The worst part of the book is at about six months, where they say that you should never pick up and comfort a baby who wakes up at night with teething pain because there isn't much you can do about it and the baby will get into the habit of waking up at night. This is scandalous. (By the way, this book makes you feel like a criminal if your older baby wakes up at night--they don't even discuss it after seven months). Back to teething--elsewhere in the book the authors provide four or five suggestions for easing teething pain!These methods don't work at night? And they say that most breastfed babies stop waking up at night after they stop nursing (my own experience after weaning three babies between 13 and 27 months). Tell me is that a lifelong habit that you need to break by two or three months? Why not wait till the baby stops nursing (but no guarantees,don't quote me). Most undesirable habits disappear in time and it's never too late to break them--let's treat babies with compassion. In my opinion breastfeeding and nightwaking are not bad habits.
  
  
• "Just let him cry until he's exhausted"?
  By A17QMFHWDAUA4J on 2000-01-31
  Extremely harsh Cry It Out tactics--even parents I know who have done CIO are appalled by this sction of this book. The whole book has this condescending, morally superior tone to it, and refers to parents who "can't or won't" do a cry it out approach as "softhearted or weak-nerved". And how totally unrealistic as to diets and milestones! About as useful as the WTEWYE diet. Headed for the recycle bin...
  
  
• Inaccurate, misleading, even dangerous for your baby
  By on 1999-09-24
  This book is very stuffy, stagnant. I couldn't even complete it. Babies develop at different rates, and you shouldn't waste your time with your baby by getting preoccupied on ages/stages. The book is actually inaccurate when it discusses slings, by stating that carrying your baby too much (in a sling or carrier) is bad b/c the baby sleeps too much. First of all, Yeah Right! Any parent knows a baby sleeps when it wants and awakens when it wants. Secondly, wearing babies in slings has been proven to improve cognitive development and enhance bonding. The baby has been evolutionarily conditioned to want to be carried next to mom/dad, and it cries less when carried. Because the baby is not crying, he/she spends more time observing and learning. I still carry my 3 yr old in a sling, hip-carry, she's not too heavy and it saves my arm and back.

  The book is not supportive of breastfeeding or family bed, both of which have been proven to be beneficial to the baby *and* family.

  Please find a better, more educational and accurate book to read. You and your baby will benefit.
  
  

• Inconsistent and unfounded
  By on 2001-11-15
  I don't usually review things that I don't like, but in this case I make an exception. I really had a hard time with this book. As others have mentioned, there are a lot of inconsistencies. I wouldn't have such a problem with that if there was some evidence or research to back up one of the assertions, but this book has many statements that have nothing to back it up. When I turned to the Web to research a couple of the recommendations (such as the weaning at 9-10 months), I found a lot of research that went against the recommendations in this book.

  No parenting book can tell you everything you need to know, of course. But some books are better than others. If you do buy this book, temper what you read with your own research from other sources (such as AAP/WHO and other sources that back their statements with research). But even still, use that research to help you make your own parenting decisions. Blanket statements that "this is the only way" usually are a sign that they are not.
  
  

• Paternalistic parenting 101
  By A18E087H77JYSU on 2002-08-03
  Looking at the 'Get ready, get set' chapter which is available here on Amazon I am horrified at what it covers in its comparison of breast and formula feeding. Formula has the advantage of not being digested as well? Surely that should be under the advantages list of breastfeeding?!
  And they seem to suggest that preparing formula is easier than expressing breastmilk. I know I would not rely on a babysitter to follow the can's instructions and risk over dilution or concentration, or want to expose my child to some locations dubiously safe water supply.
  It suggests that an advantage of bottle feeding is that the Mum can stop eating for two. To me this is a disadvantage. I love being able to eat what I like [yes, spiced food and all!] and not gain weight. In fact I'm slimmer and trimmer than ever.
  The comment on birth control is also irritating. It suggests that the bottle feeding Mum has all the advantages. It doesn't mention the hassles of having regular periods again.
  And the comment that breastfeeding Mums can't take medication for allergies etc shows an ignorance of the AAP recommended medications in lactation.

  The reasons that they give favouring formula are superficial. And nowhere in this chapter do they quote the WHO who states that formula is the FOURTH best option for infant feeding...after breastfeeding, expressed breastmilk and donor breastmilk.

  The authors are seriously out of date which is simply not good enough when they are writing books about infants.
  This doctor will not be recommending this book to any of her patients.
  
  

• Very mainstream view of parenting.....not for me!
  By ADX9NTN40T1HN on 2000-10-21
  I purchased this book while pregnant. As I read it, I kept wondering how on earth any of these ideas were reasonable: letting my baby cry it out in his crib alone? watching the clock to only allow him to nurse a few minutes on each breast? Where did these ideas come from? They certainly weren't the instincts that were inside of me! If we had allowed him to cry alone in a crib, he would have lost trust in us. If I had timed his nursing sessions, there would have been supply problems. Babies need to nurse on their own schedule and as long as they need to. No wonder so many mothers have trouble with breastfeeding! They are reading mainstream books like this one written by people without a clue! It angers me that this book is so *popular* because it does more damage than good.

  I will have to admit that the developmental facts are pretty interesting and on-the-mark (I've been a student of Early Childhood Education). Some of the "letters" they answer are realistic questions that a new mother or father would have. But to be so cold-hearted as to say that sometimes you just must leave that baby alone to cry....no way. Not me, never.

  My copy of the book has been thrown away. If I ever met a pregnant mother who wants a book recommendation, I tell her about Dr. Sears. He has a heart....something these authors certainly do not!

  I would suggest that if they wish to author a book, they chose something they can find the FACTS on and then report them to us.
  
  

• Not nearly as valuable as the first book in the series
  By A2P6PVWZS4NGV0 on 2000-11-13
  My wife and I received this book along with its sister, "What to Expect When You're Expecting." We found the latter book to be invaluable during her pregnancy, and referred to it often. I cannot say the same about this one. While my wife was pregnant, when something unusual occurred more often than not we found a relevant entry in "Expecting;" to date, our experience with "First Year" is much more frustrating. The monthly tabulation of events and behaviors we should expect from our child has been quite accurate, but we have received similar lists from our pediatrician at every appointment. We have also received rather different advice from our pediatrician on a number of issues, such as sleeping with baby in the bed, when to introduce solid foods, etc.

  Perhaps I am writing this review too early (our child is only 4 1/2 months old); more likely, the subject matter of this particular volume is likely to encounter wider variations in experiences than pregnancy alone. Regardless, I find myself turning to this book only rarely, and getting something out of it even less; in particular, the doctrinaire nature of some of the authors' recommendations, which was first evident in the harping on diet in the first book, becomes less tolerable here. I can't say that I've read a lot of these books, but we beginning parents are probably better off dealing with our friends (the ones who have already had children, not the ones who think they know all about it) and our pediatricians than with books such as this.
  
  

• Okay Medical reference, not really helpful in parenting
  By on 2001-06-04
  I am a frist time mother with very little help and I grew up in a culture that baby-carrier, breastfeeding and co-sleep are must.But, I wanted the American way to raise my son. I got this book as a free gift from my insurance company. I thought this book would be a very useful reference, otherwise, they would not send it to me. I really belived everything she said in the book as the right "American way" to bring up an independent, loving, intelligent child. I read this book when I was expecting. It already made me felt very confused. Bascially, I followed everything what she said and what should I do for the first 3 months. However, it didn't help me at all. I didn't have the answers for all my questions. And I found some of her suggestions contradicted with my doctor's. Even my husband said I should not follow everything in the book(he jokes the book is my "bible"), and my mother disaproved I let my son slept alone, I was still not to give up the book. Until the fourth month, my son could not make one of the milestones the book suggested. I started to feel I had slow him down. It really hurt my self-seteem as a mother. After 3 months of sleepless nights in order to train my son slept alone, I was exhausted and frustrated. My husband sugested let him slept with us. However, what the book said about the disadvanges of co-sleep concerned me. My husband asked me "you and your siblings were co-sleep. What are the side effects you guys have from that?" Actually none,it only made us have a really close relationship. So, I decided not to follow this book. I bought a half dozen pacificers and a carrier, and put my son sleeps in our family bed. Now, he is not only can sleep through the night, alot sounder that before, he also able to fall into sleep by himself without any help from me. He is much happier and feels more secure. TRUST YOUSELF when it comes to parenting especially you have a very sensitive baby like mine. You don't need this book.
  
  
• A Waste of Money
  By on 2002-02-27
  This book is filled with outdated, culturally biased, and poorly researched information on co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and infant nutrition. The most glaring example of this is that this book advocates weaning (from the breast) at 9-10 months...never mind the fact that the AAP recommends breastfeeding a MINIMUM of 1 year and that the WHO recommends breastfeeding a MINIMUM of 2 years. Buy the Sears Baby Book instead.
  
  
• Handy reference
  By A1QVPUF05R34KC on 2003-10-26
  This book has great monthly "what to expect" lists that tell you what most babies at that age are doing, or learning. It covers the typical issues for a certain month of age and gives lots of tips. The index is complete so you can find what you're looking for. One warning! If you are a breastfeeding, co-sleeping, slinging type of family you'll need to read this with caution as much of the advice is not supportive of these things. I'd recommend you also look at Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley for a more supportive read in these areas.
  
  
• If you are or plan on attachment parenting...
  By AD6W839SLUWK1 on 2000-03-26
  then leave this book on the shelf. And if you get it for a shower gift, throw it in the trash.

  Ms. Aisenberg does not support attachment parenting and the family bed. She actually suggests that a 7-month-old baby cries because he is a "mommy-manipulater", in her words, and not because he wants his needs met and the love and attention that all babies rightly deserve. You CANNOT spoil a baby! How can you possibly give too much love and affection to a child?

  Ms. Aisenberg also gives some of the worst breastfeeding advice I have ever seen. I would think that a nurse would know better. Most women can eat just about anything they want while nursing, and one reviewer aptly pointed out that it IS possible to nurse an adopted baby. It might be a little more work, because you have to induce lactation, but it IS possible. It is also possible to nurse a baby with a cleft lip or palate. Again, like nursing an adopted baby, it might be a little more work if you have to pump (You might not even have to pump if the baby's cleft isn't too severe that he/she can't make suction!) but it HAS been done before. Ms. Aisenberg just assumes that it's impossible, so don't even consider it.

  If you are going to do all the "mainstream" stuff in parenting, then you'll probably like this book. If not, then don't waste your money.
  
  

• Some useful information, but unempathetic to babies
  By on 2000-03-28
  Although this is a thick book with some useful information, I was very uncomfortable with the authors' parenting philosophy. They suggest that people who always respond to their babies' cries are softhearted fools. Instead, they suggest ignoring the baby who is crying with teething pain in the middle of the night, and suggest that if you have a baby who cries a lot you should invest in soundproofing. Some of the information on breastfeeding is dangerously misleading, e.g. the suggestion that mothers limit the amount of time babies spend nursing in the first days. Following this advice is likely to lead to problems establishing a good milk supply, according to lactation consultants and the experts at La Leche League. They also advocate early weaning, saying 3 months is a good age because it's easy to wean then, and for sure you should wean by one year. In addition, suggesting that you can expect certain behaviour at a specific age, in months, is ludicrous! Babies vary enormously in their rates of development, and this kind of month-by-month predictions can cause a lot of anxiety.
  
  
• Medically inaccurate
  By on 1999-10-18
  Just as What to Expect When You're Expecting dispensed inaccurate and upsetting medical advice, so does What to Expect the First Year. I shared with my son's pediatric opthamologist the "milestones" he was to be reaching by the end of the first month. She looked at me as if I was insane and told me he wouldn't even begin to do those things until the third month. He was premature, and even using his adjusted gestational age, these estimates are off -- which could be frightening if you have a child who needs closer monitoring.
  
  

• Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers

• What to Expect the Toddler Years
• Your Baby's First Year (Second Edition)
• The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer
• What to Expect When You're Expecting: 4th Edition
• The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition