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Way Off the Road: Discovering the Peculiar Charms of Small Town Americax$5.68
  (21 reviews)
Best Price: $5.68
“To say it very simply, freezer burn may very well have set in.” —neighbor on the frozen dead guy kept on ice in a backyard shed in Nederland, Colorado.
“Everybody loves a parade; we were just geographically challenged.” —David Harrenstein, organizer of a parade in tiny Whalan, Minnesota, where viewers are in motion and the “marchers” stand still.
“We haven’t lost anyone off these switchbacks in at least ten days” —Mailman Charlie Chamberlain, leading us on horseback 2,500 feet down the sheer walls of the Grand Canyon.
“Ours are the finest cow chips in the world today,” —Kirk Fisher, enthusiast, in Beaver, Oklahoma, world cow-chip capital and cow- chip exporter.
“We live out in the middle of the corn and bean fields, and there’s not a whole lot to get excited about, you know?” —Dan Moretz, on celebrating the day the sun sets in the middle of the railroad tracks in Hanlontown, Iowa.
“It’s like drilling for oil; sometimes you come up dry.” —Gay Balfour, who sucks problematic prairie dogs out of the ground with a sewer vacuum in Cortez, Colorado.
“All you have to do is beat the flies to it,” —Michael “Roadkill” Coffman on the secrets of cooking with roadkill outside Lawrence, Kansas.
“I ain’t gonna brake ´til I see God!” —driver named “Red Dog,” taking the track at a figure-eight school bus race in Bithlo, Florida.
“It’s a gift; you either got it or you don’t.” —Lee Wheelis, world watermelon-seed-spitting champion, Luling, Texas.
“I am the mayor, the board, the secretary-treasurer, the librarian, the bartender —that’s my most important title —the cook, the floor sweeper, the police chief, and I have the books for the cemetery, if someone wants to buy a plot.” —Elsie Eiler, the sole citizen of Monowi, Nebraska. Celebrated roving correspondent for CBS News Sunday Morning and bestselling author Bill Geist serves up a rollicking look at some small-town Americans and their offbeat ways of life.
“In rural Kansas, I asked our motel desk clerk for the name of the best restaurant in the area. After mulling it over, he answered: ‘I'd have to say the Texaco, 'cuz the Shell don't have no microwave.’”
Throughout his career, Bill Geist’s most popular stories have been about slightly odd but loveable individuals. Coming on the heels of his 5,600-mile RV trip across our fair land is Way Off the Road, a hilarious and compelling mix of stories about the folks featured in Geist’s segments, along with observations on his twenty years of life on the road. Written in the deadpan style that has endeared him to millions, Geist shares tales of eccentric individuals, such as the ninety-three-year-old pilot-paperboy who delivers to his far-flung subscribers by plane; the Arizona mailman who delivers mail via horseback down the walls of the Grand Canyon; the Muleshoe, Texas, anchorwoman who delivers the news from her bedroom (occasionally wearing her bathrobe); and the struggling Colorado entrepreneur who finds success employing a sewer vacuum to rid Western ranchers of problematic prairie dogs. Geist also takes us to events such as the Mike the Headless Chicken Festival (celebrating an inspiring bird that survived decapitation, hired an agent, and went on the road for eighteen months) and Sundown Days in Hanlontown, Iowa, where the town marks the one day a year when the sun sets directly between the railroad tracks
Along the wacky and wonderful way, Geist shows us firsthand how life in fly-over America can be odd, strangely fascinating, hysterical, and anything but boring.
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Customer Reviews
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Way Off Base
By A10G4BPT5MGBHY on 2007-05-20
What Charles Kuralt did with heart, Bill Geist does it with ridicule in this collection of 28 travel essays. Everyone's a wacky weirdo in his version of rural America -- there's the dork in Minnesota ("Norwegians are slow learners"), the idiot in Indiana, the twit in Tennessee.
Geist is a good writer, but his passion to be witty often goes too far. Sure, there are some funny stories -- about a cow-chip contest in Oklahoma, a chicken festival in Colorado, a school-bus race in Florida -- but Geist paints everyone in "fly-over America," as he calls it, as straight out of that old "Hee Haw" cornfield. "Aren't small towns boring?" he asks himself in his introduction. "You betcha!"
In other words, "Way Off the Road: Discovering the Peculiar Charms of Small-Town America" is an "entertaining collection of travel essays" that has all the charm of a racist joke.
In one case I know the small town Geist describes, because I have an apartment there. Celebration, Florida is an Orlando suburb adjacent to Walt Disney World that sits alongside Interstate 4 (not exactly "Way Off the Road"). Developed by the Disney company, it was built with a mix of about 60 or so home styles and is governed by a town council. But Geist calls Celebration "part of Disney World," where buyers must "choose from six different home styles" and obey "a Disney company manager." From that he builds a funny story. Too bad Geist's "facts" come from a time when the development had first broken ground... back in 1996. I wonder if the other tales here are equally exaggerated.
A quick and fun read
By A2CDA00O4MB1CK on 2007-05-29
Bill Geist's "Way Off the Road: Discovering the Peculiar Charms of Small Town America" contains essays of his travel in small town America. Most of these small towns are virtually unknown, and some essays are more memorable than others. The memorable ones include the essays of the headless chicken; the sole citizen of Monowi, Nebraska (population: 1); the cow photographer; and many others. The author provides both a wacky and interesting picture of small towns, mostly in the Midwest. Contrary to the belief that small towns are boring, these essays actually gives a rather fun and proud portrayal of people living in these towns.
This was a fun read for me to learn more about the different characters in small town America. The writing was conversational and witty. However, I can see how some readers may feel offended by his style of writing which at times can be seen as making small jokes of small town folks. In any case, do not be deter by that as the essays in this book are fun and unique.
Bill Geist Does It Again
By A2TFHAAUFTNSU4 on 2007-05-22
Ever since seeing him on Sunday Morning, I've really enjoyed Bill Geist's work. His sense of humor is great, and I recently drove across the country and can attest to some of the things he wrote about! Good stuff!
Cleverer or cleverest?
By A1OKKM593HXH05 on 2007-05-21
I am infinitely proud of my own own witty, satirical comments, so am always amazed (and annoyed) when I encounter the writings of someone like Geist is puts me to shame. I have lived in cities and burbs my whole life, so have little understanding of small town America. Now at least I have the fuel to fire any number of snide cocktail party remarks thanks to Bill. His books are going next to Bill Bryson on my sattirical book shelf. Can't wait for his next one!
Reminds me of Bill Bryson
By A18XD7OSYZ1K5U on 2007-05-22
This was my first Geist book, however, if you enjoy the observations of Bill Bryson, you will enjoy this collection!
- You'll read this book through a blur of tears...
By A2HIXXWJBV2WEC on 2007-07-12
I have never laughed so hard in my life - Bill Geist is a genius. I used half a box of tissue because I was laughing so hard all afternoon as I read this book that tears were pouring down my face and the print was blurry. As wonderful as the entire book was, my very favorite chapter was the first, "Standstill Parade" - I wanted to share the humor and realized that I would be incapable of reading that chapter to anyone without bursting into gales of laughter which would have spoiled for them. It occurred to me that married couples would drive each other crazy first by cackling and roaring with laughter during the entire time they read the book and then by wanting to share the humor with each other and trying to read while being unable to control their laughter.
I've been going through a very grim period lately and friends recommended this book. I'm now going to read Bill's other books - sure worked better than antidepressants. Wait until you read about the "road kill stew" - the watermelon champion, the ride in a vintage plane with a man who had had five heart attacks to deliver papers to outlying ranches.
You'll read about "Mike, the Headless Chicken" - reminded me of when my father decapitated a chicken destined for the stew pot and it flew over the roof of the house before expiring - well Mike took a lot longer to expire - long enough to become famous. I won't give any more away - you have to read it yourself.
I promise you "Way Off the Road" is good for whatever ails you.
- Hilariously Funny
By A2JFFQHG8DCPH on 2007-05-22
Bill Geist is a riot and he does not disappoint in this collection of essays. This is by far some of his best work, I highly recommend!
- Antidote to a dreary day
By A4OWM26D7JUS2 on 2008-01-06
Someone gave me this book as a Christmas present because I travel in an RV, which Geist did on his 5,600 mile road trip across the country, gathering stories of small town America. I guess they gave me this book thinking Geist a kindred spirit, but the photo on the cover made me wince because he looks so goofy and the story excerpts on the back cover seemed so lame, which they are. But when I read the book I laughed in spite of myself, not at the stories, which are too Ma-and-Pa Kettle-ish, but at Bill's sarcastic asides and self-deprecating humor. You can't help but like him.
I'm embarrassed to say I'd never heard of Bill Geist, probably because I rarely watch television. But I'm glad I finally met him. The stories serve as a background for his witty comments that are very, very funny. His book is a perfect antidote for a dreary day.
The reason for the 3 stars is that the story collection itself seems forced and contrived. Surely, one can find humor in America without resuscitating Gomer and Goober Pyle.
- Outstanding summer reading!
By A3S1EXEYVGO0C3 on 2007-06-14
This book may someday be the only record of a vanishing and unique part of small town America. A wonderful adventure written with Bill Geist's best tongue in cheek news style. Perfect for summer reading (you can read one story and put it down if you MUST...but believe me you will pick it up again at the first opportunity!) Even though I have never been to many of these towns, I recognized the personalities of neighbors and friends - laughed out loud at descriptions of food and accomodations, and in general just thoroughly enjoyed this on my own small town front porch. Highly recommended *****+++++
- Something To Relate To
By AVJO6HHY6D51T on 2007-06-27
Excellent book. Hard to put down once you get started. Small town folks can really relate to the stories.
- Gentle humor
By A2W5VA3RUMTR94 on 2007-06-27
Bill Geist travels the US and writes about small town America with gentle humor and fascinating facts. Some of his chapters are hilarious, some more gentle but all present a facet of the US most of us never see and might want to after reading this wonderful book.
- Great book!
By A3VR4MABG1EE81 on 2007-06-13
I am really enjoying this book as Bill Geist is hilarious. CBS Sunday Morning is one of my favorite shows on television and I have seen some of his adventures. I definitely recommend reading this book!
- Great read!
By ANIOEQRWLJ9O4 on 2007-06-13
Bill Geist has hit a home run with this compendium of his TV reports. I'd seen a lot of them over the years, but just reading of them over again was a riot. This is not a deep thinkers book, but it does reflect true Americana. It's also a great book to give as a gift!
- way off the road slightly off the mark
By A28S9X79VS6ZDM on 2007-08-25
Easy, summertime at-the-beach read. The book is not entirely about "small town charms" because author Geist writes 50% of his stories/anecdotes about curious town characters, each of whom does live in a small town. --A guy who's selling $10,000 stoves? --Another who's a surfer-king at 60?
--A boat-church pastor? Interesting some, but I was expecting to read about "charming towns" with their peculiar festivals, fish-frys, unusual post offices and corner stores...just like the book's cover promised...instead of about curious indivuduals who can be found in any of millions of USA towns, big or small. The book's ok. --A little bit of a yawn, actually....
- His Best Yet!
By A3GQ1JC1VCPHD9 on 2007-05-22
I have been following Geist's writing and tv career for years, and was dying for his take on small town America. It doesn't disappoint, these stories are hilarious and heartfelt -- nothing small about this book!
- Way off and way out!
By A2ZHB7E544QLLQ on 2007-07-08
Just when millions of Americans are hitting the road in droves this summer, along comes Bill Geist's funky and funny new book, "Way Off the Road". After twenty years of travel, the ubiquitous author has uncovered some of the nation's real oddities and has captured them in this perfect light read. Witty to the core, Geist's contributions leave the reader thinking, "does this really exist in America?"
Yes it does, and while all of these vignettes are worthy entries, some stand out more than others. I particularly loved his trip down to the floor of the Grand Canyon to help deliver mail and supplies to the Havasupai Indian tribe... and the story of the woman who IS the population of Monowi, Nebraska.....just one resident, Elsie Eiler. Elsie is the mayor, police chief, the secretary-treasurer, the librarian and the bartender, just to name some of the hats she wears. When the town's water meter needs to be read, Elsie (aged seventy-three) climbs a ladder, reads the meter, then bills herself and then PAYS herself. Heartwarming stories like Elsie's just don't get much coverage these days!
Geist also relates some of his own history about getting to many of these places (by plane, by car) and what it's like to stay in some of the more remote hamlets. Like a Letterman "Top Ten List", Geist offers advice to the wary traveler. He says, for instance, one of the signs you're in a bad restaurant is if the menu has sections like 'From the Sea'; 'From the Land"; From the Asphalt". But it's many of the quirky characters that come attached geographically that make the book shine. They're not all nuts, but some of them are. Speaking of nuts, his favorite museum curator was the late Elizabeth Tashjian, who ran the nut museum in Old Lyme, Connecticut. Having seen her once on "The Tonight Show" I would have agreed with his assessment.
Bill Geist's "Way Off the Road" is a perfect beach book, even if you live on the plains of Kansas and don't have a beach near you. I hope it does encourage those readers who are traveling around the United States this summer to stop in and see a few of the places he describes and perhaps meet the people associated with the book's anecdotes. I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
- Not Enough
By A2MCZ11CHH5L93 on 2007-09-17
My only complaint about this book is that with all the hundreds of strange places Bill Geist has visited, he only covers a few dozen here. Still, visiting all these places will take me years. I might skip the frozen dead guy.
- One more Geist for the road
By AZFX7FLEHCWXM on 2007-10-25
Bill Geist has been a roving correspondent for CBS News for twenty years and during that time, he has seen it all. He has even knocked on the door of a home while the occupants inside were watching him on the news! Way Off The Road celebrates the mild eccentricities that make life fun. From the Museum of Towing in Chattanooga to the Silver Surfer of San Onofre, Geist chronicles the overlooked and uncelebrated. At a brothel in Pahrump, Nevada he indulges in an unexpected chance to finally see his secret fantasy come true (and it is TV viewable!). He spotlights that something in each of his subjects (and possibly ourselves)that sets them apart...from the Land of Lost Luggage, the Frozen Dead Guy tours all the way to a giant vacuum that allows prairie dogs to be humanely relocated to friendlier terrain. Geist treats all his subjects with kindness, respect and does not smirk or look down on these people and their lives. This is a kind hearted peek into the lives of others. They're just like us, except for the frozen dead guy in the shed in the backyard!
- Getting your windshield cleaned by three hookers
By A2DSXA1E02C86D on 2008-07-04
Author Bill Geist is a traveling correspondent for "CBS News Sunday Morning". I haven't watched the show in ages. Perhaps I should as we tend to lose sight of how charming and beguiling Americana can be in the face of strident criticism by those, some home-grown, who tear the country down.
WAY OFF THE ROAD is a compendium of twenty-eight profiles of small town oddities originally offered by Geist on the TV broadcast over the period 1996-2005. Of course, getting there spawns its own set of stories, which are interspersed among the others in four chapters: "Flying There", "Staying There", "Eating There", and "Driving There."
For a retired couple with an RV and time to kill, this book might provide a roadmap for whiling away a year or two on the open road visiting the New Zion Missionary Baptist Church Barbecue (Huntsville, TX), the Watermelon-Seed Spit World Championship (Luling, TX), the Tow Truck Museum and Hall of Fame (Chattanooga, TN), the Boat-In Worship (Syracuse, IN), the Paskowitz Surf Camp (San Onofre, CA), the Frozen Dead Guy Days festival (Nederland, CO), the Sundown Days festival (Hanlontown, IA), or the Figure 8 School Bus Races (Bithlo, FL). Of course, America is also its individual citizens, like cow photographer Kathy DeBruin (New Glarus, WI), Mayor Elsie Eiler (Minowi, NE, population 1), Moonburger chef Helen Tuttle (Moonshine, IL, population 2), or the UFO aficionados Pat and Joe Travis (Rachel, NV).
It almost makes me want to give up the old 9 to 5 right now, load up the wife and unread books in a Winnebago, and set out to see it all. Well, I might have to leave the wife off to do the shopping while getting the windshield windexed by three hookers at Sheri's Ranch (Pahrump, NV).
My only picky-picky quarrel with Geist is the barely adequate photo section, which is four half-pages of snaps not much larger than oversized postage stamps.
For me, the litmus test for any travel essay is its ability to compel me, out of curiosity, to go onto the Web to further research the places written about. In the case of WAY OFF THE ROAD, I remained on-line throughout.
- On the Road Again
By A23BTLTIHMJN01 on 2008-07-25
There are some books that are not, and will never be, classics. Nevertheless, in their own way they have a certain charm and make for enjoyable reading. This particular book will put a smile on your face and even make you laugh a few times as the author explores some of the more unusual, if not bizarre, spots (and people) in the United States. Some reviewers have claimed that Geist looks down at these folks---I strongly disagree. If anything, there is a certain affection for them. Of course, this type of book, and the people in them, will not appeal to New Yorkers, since it deals with "fly over country."
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