I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World Reviews

• Compassionate and Informative

  
  By A348AQ14EWL58G on 2000-07-17
  The book covers a lot of ground. But as a father of a biracial son the most relevant parts for me dealt with light-skinned and biracial children. An important theme of the book is "Don't racialize childhood": Young children should be shielded from our adult racial baggage for as long as possible. Wright believes that early teaching about race and racism tends to result in black children feeling needlessly powerless and confused about their place in this world.

  Wright encourages parents to raise older children in such a manner as to teach that integration and educational success are fully consistent with "being authentically black." On this important issue, she encourages parents to become aware and resist notions of black identity that rest on longstanding white racist stereotypes that have been internalized by many African Americans. For example, successful blacks (particularly successful black men) are often derided as "oreos" or "sell-outs."

  Sometimes Wright seems to downplay the degree to which residual white supremacy continues to constrict the lives of black children. For example, regarding the classic issue of black "self hatred," she argues that it is rare for young black children to be ashamed of themselves or their race unless they have been abused or explicitly taught racist attitudes by caregivers. On this point, her position differs somewhat from social psychological research that argues that black kids identify with whites because whites simply have more power, wealth, and social status in American society. Yet, I believe Wright is correct when she encourages parents not to get too bent out of shape if their child goes through a stage in which he or she insists that he or she is white. As she shows in her excerpts from interviews with preschoolers, young children might use racial language, but they do not have an adult understanding of race. For example, preschoolers do not know about the one-drop rule, and it is typical for light-skinned children to believe for a time that they are white, as they are aware that their skin tone is similar to that of whites. This does not mean they hate blacks or think they are better than darker blacks. Wright explains that many black parents needlessly feel rejected when light-skinned children assert that they are white-this is usually a developmental stage, not a political or emotional rejection of blackness.

  The author feels that parents and other caregivers can buffer most of the negative effects of white racism during the important early years. However, she argues (correctly, in my opinion) that poorly funded inner city public schools threaten to undo much of parents' best effort to prepare black children to compete in the larger society. Hence, she makes a compelling argument for school choice/vouchers and encourages parents to be ever vigilant in the education of their children.

  Wright shows her integrity when she boldly speaks out against injustice within the black community. For example, she denounces the cynicism of African American special interest groups (e.g., NAACP) who seek to use the racist and oppressive "one-drop rule" to suppress biracial or multiracial identity. (It is simply wrong for mixed children to be expected to "closet" any part of their family heritage!)

  Noting the increasing nihilism among black youth, Wright warns that parents and teachers need to teach and model the Golden Rule, something she believes that many in the black community have drifted away from. And she does not shy away from identifying a series of behavioral issues that undermine the health of black children, such as hurtful color biases within the black community (including overt favoritism of females with "good" hair), high rates of teenage and single parentage, a tendency to mistake dehumanizing forms of physical and emotional abuse for "discipline," and overly permissive attitudes regarding exposure to high doses of commercial TV and misogynistic and brutal music lyrics (i.e., Gansta rap).

  All in all, this is a well-written and balanced book written by a committed mother and psychologist.
  
  

• Excellent book!! Anyone w/ kids or deals w/kids should read.

  
  By on 1999-08-15
  This book was very informative. I do a lot of reading on thissubject, as I am a black mother of two bi-racial children, andconsider myself very informed and open-minded. But this book gave me an opportunity to view race, and color perspectives from a child's view and not any adult. Which I must say was very amazing how childrens' thought process are. Anyone that has children no matter what your race, ethnic background etc. should read this book. Even an open-minded person, such as myself that makes a continuous effort to become as knowledgable as possible about this subject learned from this book. A must read book!!!
  
  

• Right on the Money!!!

  
  By A970IUWQKABDL on 2003-11-25
  This book was exactly was I was looking for. It is NOT a book about adoption. To me, the book was how from the preschool years, children start to form opinions about race on up through the high school years. Also, it's about how teachers and parents can have a profound impact on how children view themselves in situations where they would be in the minority. I would highly recommend this book especially to parents like myself (black/hispanic with a white husband). Our daughters look hispanic and we live in an entirely white community. Our girls are ALWAYS the only ones with "brown" skin (as they say) in their classrooms. This book actually helps you address some of these issues and how to talk to teachers. Excellent book!
  
  

• Great book for raising any child!

  
  By on 1999-04-05
  I'm a biological mom of a caucasian son, and an adoptive mom of one bi-racial and one african american child. I thought this book spoke in clear, non-clinical terms about how to raise a healthy child with a positive self-image, no matter what the race! In a household like mine, where everyone has a different race but the same name, it is a great resource to see that they all grow up to know they are important, lovable, and vital to our family and our world.
  
  

• This is book for anyone who deals with children of any race.

  
  By on 1999-03-28
  This book is by no means useful only to parents of black and bi-racial children. As a white parent I found it very informative and uplifting. Its basic premise, that there is a developmental awareness of race, so different from adults, is often overlooked even by professionals. Dr. Wright points out how much we can learn from this child's perspective and what a fresh start we can have to correct misconceptions. I recommend it to parents, teachers, childcare providers, anyone who deals with children of any ethnicity. After all, kids are kids.
  
  
• I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla
  By on 2004-01-26
  This book was the most helpful of any I've read while researching bi-racial adoption. The information offered by age and how each age actually looks at things like skin color, etc., was just what I needed. I will definitely keep this book for reference!
  
  
• Pull yourself up from your bootstraps already
  By on 2002-11-09
  This information in this book is contrary to current evidence from The National Association for the Education of Young Children. A more realistic book is "Anti Bias Curriculum- Tools for Empowering Young Children." This is by Louise Serman-Sparks and the Anti-Bias Curriculum Task Force. It is a teachers guide but the information is also very pertinant for parents. Get the information from the experts. The description of "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla " sounded promising but the content was conservative, right wing propaganda. Young children are aware of differences (including ethnic differences) early on. Pre-predjudice can start as early as three years old. Magical thinking is not the full picture here as the author asserts. Children need real answers. To shield them from racism is not realistic. We need to empower them and support them in a healthy self identity. I found this book flaky at best.
  
  
• A solid, research-based guide to kids' ideas of race
  By on 2002-11-18
  As a regular reader of current works concerning children's development of racial identity, I found Dr. Marguerite Wright's "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla" to be both refreshing and urgently needed in our society. Most of the books available about this subject present a world-weary, pessimistic message, that children of color naturally feel inferior and the most you can do is "deal with it" by using defensive stop-gap measures. In contrast, Dr. Wright has sifted through observations gleaned from her years of research and practice to craft a proactive, empowering approach to fostering and maintaining what her research has found to be young children's initially innocent and accepting regard of so-called racial differences. While Wright acknowledges the pervasive, subtle prejudice of today's America, she does not stop at bemoaning these inequities, but instead strives to arm parents and teachers with the knowledge they will need to correctly gauge children's understanding of race and also with wise tactics to prevent the often malignant race-obsession of previous generations from seeping into the minds of children. The copious advice she offers emphasizes augmenting a questioning awareness of race in children--after all, if we pass on to children a merely self-defeating, "racism is inevitable and unassailable" mindset, aren't we ourselves perpetuating the status quo? Wright advocates a enlightening new view of cultivating children's racial development when she argues that even if bias is there, we can help children to think through options of action in a mature and questioning manner and not just "deal with it," but act on their own terms.
  
  
• Didn't like book at all
  By A1V10ABC9Y6XBQ on 2003-11-02
  I didn't care for this book at all. I think it is a very well written book, for TEACHERS, but not for a parent who is transracially adopting a child. I was looking for a book on how I would parent an African American child and this book was more of a textbook. I think it is very misleading to have it labeled as a "must read for parents and teachers" and it should be advertised as a book for teachers. I thought "Inside Their Voices" was much more informative about the experiences of a transracially adopted child.
  
  
• A must-read for parents and teachers
  By A3IINUPPQK45FM on 2000-05-20
  I found this book so engrossing that I finished it in one day. The author has a lot of wonderful advice on how to address issues of race with children, and I found the interviews with them (particularly the preschoolers) fascinating. I did disagree with the author's opinions on single parenting and the role of religion in children's lives, but...Overall, this is a must-read for parents and teachers who want to foster positive attitudes towards race in children.
  
  
• Great book
  By A37ZLVRV71R0PS on 2005-10-23
  I loved this book. It gave me an insight on what African American kids experience in a way that I have never found in other books. As a mother of an adopted African boy I recommend this book to anyone who has an adopted African American child. This books is better than any book I have read when the author is white and talking about African American kids.
  
  
• I'm Vanilla I'm Chocolate
  By A3VSADCYMI8LXV on 2003-09-27
  I read the book(I'm Vanilla I'm Chocolate) and is real and much needed in today's society. She speaks the truth about young children, not seeing the differences of skin color, like us adults. I like her nurturing techniques. Positive talking and down playing the negativity. I carry the book and use it as a reference guide and give it as gifts. The book is needed, as a parent that wants to learn.
  
  
• Wonderful insight into black and biracial children's thoughts
  By A3VIH9NXMVN4UG on 2006-03-14
  My husband and I are white. We adopted a biracial girl last year. One of our challenges in raising our daughter is how to provide her with her african american heritage and culture. We have black friends and women who have taught me to do her hair and how to care for her skin, but we know that that is not enought. This book helped us to understand issues about race and culture differences and how children perceive these issues. It is written beautifully and has truly opened our eyes to issues that our daughter might face.
  
  
• What is Marguerite's race?
  By A1KHK4I2VX28RP on 2007-05-21
  This book was one of the worst I have read. As a transracially adopted person, a parent with a white partner and multi-racial kids, a teacher, and a diversity director, this book is misleading. It gives teachers of young children an excuse to not talk about race. This attitude silences children. It also gives them a message that there is something wrong with race. Do we not talk about gender at an early age, hair color, eyes. Let's get all these "researchers" to live, be in and run a classroom over time. There is where your research is. White parents, don't be fooled by this book. She is making money off of your need for eduacation.
  
  
  
• practical and hopeful
  By on 2000-06-14
  Marguerite Wright's book offers a hopeful perspective on rasing confident children within todays' society. While racism continues in subtle ways throughout America, this book offers parents and educators practical ideas for raising confident children. Her positive view helps the reader to see that it is possible to help a child (regardless of culture) to grow to their potential. Her practical guides are concrete and thought provoking. This book is a concise and excellent resource.
  
  
• Marguerite expands the reader's conciousness.
  By on 1999-06-03
  I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla is a candid look at the modern race 'situation'. I saw myself in so many of the pages and realized I'm NOT the only one who sees it, thinks about it and lives it. Intellegently written, this book is the cherry pie in it's field and promises a smooth swirl into the meltingpot that is America. EVERYONE should read it.
  
  
• More for educators, not parents.
  By A3JEFTIWXUC0AS on 2007-01-05
  This book had some good information in it, but seemed to be geared toward teachers and administrators of schools in inner-city areas where black children, presumably, are not as exposed to other races. The title was misleading to me as the book did not focus on topics, tips, or ideas for parents trying to raise a biracial child. If the title is what caught your attention, try "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me", that book is specifically for parents of biracial children and gives age-appropriate discussion topics as your child grows.
  
  
• Super Book and Service
  By ADR0YIOFD3IDH on 2005-08-30
  Thank you for an easy, pleasant transaction. Good reading, truly a help to our bi-racial family
  
  
• Not very good
  By A23SP88OUWLOQX on 2007-01-08
  I thought the author spent a lot of time dancing around serious issues and making everything seem lovely and dandy. She seemed afraid to go deeper into truly revolutionary parenting of black and mixed part black kids. I didn't finish the book for this reason.
  
  
• Wonderful
  By A2FD1PX5J8FKIY on 2007-02-16
  I have read a lot of these types of books since we are white and my son is African American. Great book for people preparing to adopt transracially. Gives you a lot to think about and prepare for. I think it's the best of these books.
  
  I have also read the very popular "Inside Transracial Adoption" and this book takes a much more positive spin. I found the other one to be somewhat depressing. This book is much more hopeful and helpful. I consider it a must read if you are considering adopting a child of a race different than your own.
  
  
• We're not ice cream!
  By AT109WCMSD1XR on 2007-11-08
  Wow, the title alone is a turn off for me. As a biracial individual, I am little offended at the simplification of racial-identity as ice cream flavors. There are no how-to's for white parents raising Black children. It's complex and often painful, and that's what white parents need to know going into this.
  
  
• Good for anyone who wants to understand children of another race.
  By A1YTNVVSV8GWZM on 2008-02-08
  Althought this book is titled and covered as a black/white book, it actually helps parents understand any child of a race different than white. We have an adopted Chinese daughter and it has enlightened me in many ways.
  
  
• Very good for American parents, not as much Canadian content
  By on 2003-04-01
  I am a mother of two biracial children in Canada. We have no connections with America and American race issues so some of the information was not as important to us as it would be for a mixed race family in America. I was impressed at the author's research of preschool children. My boys are of the age when most developmental psychologists would say that they were aware of their color and race (and that of their parents'). But my kids are not consistently clear on this and magical thinking does explain a lot of this. Wright's book has been so helpful to me as I educate preschools and daycares about biracial children and race issues. I just wished for more Canadian content.
  
  
• Superb
  By ARE0HV5FEFXO7 on 2006-07-12
  Margureite Wright has her head on straight. A great book. Should be in every parent and teachers library, whether they have black or bi-racial children in their lives or not.
  
  
• Wife loved this book
  By AB2E4RQA3AT6E on 2007-09-06
  We are adopting kids from Ethiopia, so I got this for my wife to read. She absolutely loved it. Not sure if it was due to our situation or if she would have loved it anyway. Brings up interesting points about inter-racial adoptions. She is recommending it to our friends and family as an good read.
  
  

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