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The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominancex$10.31
  (32 reviews)
Best Price: $16.95 $10.31
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Customer Reviews
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Excellent introduction to the world of female dominance!
By A1Q4Z2DTBTB6U on 2001-02-08
Without getting too personal, I was drawn to buying this book because of some personal growth and realizations about myself and my sexuality. The fantasies and thoughts in this book, some of them already existed somewhere within my subconscious, but reading this book gave them some release. This book is well-written and very detailed. The first chapters deal with the psychological/emotional aspects of wanting to be a dominant woman or having feelings of domaninance as a woman in society. (Nice girls don't want to hit men, right?) The book details the five archetypes of dominating women (Nurse, Teacher, Queen, Amazon, and Goddess) and how each has different fantasies and scenes. The scenes in this book are excellent, and I would recommend that you take a little bit from each and tailor them to suit your (and your partner's) needs. I would definitely recommend this book to any woman who is drawn to the BDSM lifestyle and wants to learn how to top effectively.
"With My Body I Thee Worship"
By AO5F3MTTFCQR8 on 2005-05-08
I don't usually gravitate towards the dominance side of bdsm but I did have a lover at one time who wished to explore his own submissive nature. This book is an excellent education for any woman or man, for that matter, who is interested in experiencing female dominance. This is not a simple overview of female dominance or bdsm techniques but a true manual that takes you through the evolution of becoming a Mistress and the enacting of fantasy with your male partner. If you are new to the concept of female dominance this is an excellent book to guide you through the pleasure and pain of being the ultimate Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon, or Goddess. The book is broken into three main sections: Becoming a Mistress, The Mistress in Action, and The Five Archetypal Fantasies.
Becoming a Mistress brings light to idea of female dominance and the pleasure that can come from command while also discussing the psychological aspects of dominance and finding a partner to explore your fantasies. I enjoyed this section immensely since so many factors concerning personal guilt and relationships are addressed in regards to female dominance. If you're new to the sensual art of dominance you will gather a great deal of self-awareness and understanding in this section concerning bdsm and female dominance
The Mistress in Action begins the real sexual play of dominance between you and your male partner. From the language of dominance to the ties that bind you'll learn some basics that you can expand on with additional reading. This is an excellent book for the novice domme. Once you and our submissive discover specific items that are enjoyable I highly recommend SM101 by Jay Wiseman to explore more techniques and in-depth understanding of BDSM.
The Five Archetypal Fantasies are The Nursemaid, The Governess, The Queen, The Amazon, and the Goddess. Each archetype is outlined from elements of the fantasy, skills needed in the fantasy, enacting the perfect scenario, and variations of each fantasy. If you're unsure how to begin this section will eliminate all doubts. This is a step by step how to from what you should be thinking to create the fantasy to what to wear.
Another great part of this book is that conflict between fantasy choice between you and your submissive is discussed and addressed thoroughly so that everybody wins so you can move on to the sensual art of female dominance. As I mentioned I don't gravitate to dominance but if I ever needed to help someone fulfill their fantasy to be dominated by a Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon, or Goddess I know exactly how to take control now that I've read The Mistress Manual.
girldiver:)
Inspiring! Practical!
By on 2000-08-14
I am so pleased to have found this book! I'm just beginning to explore the idea of taking control in our sex life, and this is so practical and reassuring, and still (ahem) very inspirational, too! Lorelei talks about why anyone might want to try female dominance, and why a man might like it too - she takes away the sense of being "wrong" or weird or sick and lets you see how it can be good for both of you. She's also got very practical information on how to use various toys so you give the most interesting sensations without going too far. And she includes safety information, plus a section on how to deal with problems, which also made me feel safer trying this.The most useful thing to me, as a beginner, is her information on how to design a scene so that you know what you want to do when, and how, and what effect you're looking for. There's a lot of information on the psychology of dominance, and on the various types of dominance that you might try - you may find that only some of them appeal to you, but there should be something there for everyone! I'm really enjoying learning to practice female domination - and this book is a great introduction! PS--My husband loves it too. That's the amazing thing. It *really* works!
Very glad this book is back in print..one of the best!
By on 2000-09-09
I bought this book back in '94 and it is wonderfull. It's everything the author says and more but most importantly (for me)- it is one of the few books that stresses that this should be done for the couple's MUTUAL pleasure. I also think it may be the only book out there that comes from a mongamous loving relationship viewpoint - not that is the only way to go in this lifestyle but very rarely talked about. It's fun, HUMAN, and very very helpfull. I have recommend the books to others - no complaints so far. Screw the Roses is the best book out there. This, IMO is a close second. The writer's hubbie must be a lucky man indeed.... (HieroV@aol.com)
Great "guide" for the novice Domme
By A2ZB3LUN5X8H1G on 2000-08-11
Truly an affirming guide for any woman who wants to learn more about being a Domme, whether they're a novice or experienced Mistress. The book has three main parts: Becoming a Mistress, The Mistress In Action, and "The Five Archetypical Fantasies."Mistress Lorelei's "instructions" are intelligent, well-thought out and easy to follow. This is a woman who is 'wicked' in a delightful way. In the first chapter, she explains the 'benefits' of becoming a Mistress, and in the next chapter explains some pitfalls you may encounter and how to avoid them. She also explains how to find a male submissive and maintaining your fantasy and reality in subsequent chapters. Part two of the book explains how to establish and assert your dominance and also the "tools" you can use. The use of spanking, flogging, paddling and other techniques are covered here. Part three covers the main Fem Domme fantasy types and covers them well and explains that you can take something from each fantasy type in the "scenes" you do. Even though I'm a male Dominant, I found some of her ideas useful for my own play. I also recommend SM101 by Jay Wiseman and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller & Molly Devon as good introductory books, along with this book if your interest lies in female domination.
- This book changed my life
By AT5H1OL6W6GQ4 on 2005-09-09
I am sure it sounds trite, but this book changed my life. I have been married for 12 years to a man who is submissive and it was not until I read this book that I finally understood that he was not "weak" because he was this way. He is very masculine and in a very masculine profession, but this book taught me that being dominated is a way to have a release from that sort of life and I am very glad to Dominate my husband for our enjoyment. Our marriage has improved 100% since I found this book. There is no greater gift than being able to respect and understand your partner and Mistress Lorelai helped me do so.
- The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominan
By A39MCH936QK9I7 on 2001-11-18
If anyone has any questions, doubts of how to do femdom, or where to start a scene, this book tells how. This work by Lorelei is the best how-to that I've read. I recommend it for any of the ladies out there who are uncertain about "femdom". This book will show you how to have fun with female dominance
- Give me a break
By AVF0SL2SASXMU on 2005-07-11
I have to admit I was sorely disappointed with this book. The author pitches female Dominance like she is a member of NOW; the objective, turning men into "sissy maids" that will do your every bidding.
Female Dominants need to respect and honor the gift of their pet's submission. For example: perhaps scene-oriented individuals enjoy forced feminization or cross-dressing because it involves some element of humiliation. But that is not what submission is about for everyone. Those of us who are D/s 24 x 7 focus far more on trust and developing the relationship. This book does not even come close to addressing the many challenges related to fear, communication issues, etc.
I found this book to be generally lacking in good taste. Its only redeeming value is that it covers several basic items about SS&C, but so do many other books on the subject of BDSM. I'd recommend finding an alternative over wasting money on this.
- Wow. Very consise, to the point, elegantly written.
By on 2003-02-02
I bought this book and "The Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women" but "the Mistress Manual" is a much better book.
It is concisely written, intelligently crafted and directly to the point. The other book "Art of Sensual Female Dominance" is at times overly wordy, vulgar and clumsily written.
When reading about a topic like this, where your imagination fuels what the author writes, Mistress Manual is only 170 pages but tells you all you need to know to get started. Consulting with your mistress you can both figure out the rest. I bought this book for my girlfriend who is now my loving mistress whom I serve happily. The book is well enough written for beginners to get some ideas to get started. Have fun!
- Best book ever written on the subject
By A37EQ6WZU6GO8X on 2001-01-05
I bought this book when it was first published by Berkana Press. It had the best information on female domination anywhere. Lorelei presents the subject with seriousness, practicality, good nature and convincing argument. The chapter on why is priceless. Her classification of fetishes is very scholarly.
- New edition worthy of your attention
By A3EX36SNRYD5VL on 2002-11-30
In a lot of ways, this is simply a reprinting of an earlier guide self-published back in 1994. Its sad how few things have changed. The target audience of the book are monogamous and het couples who practice role-playing where the woman is the "top" and the man is the "bottom". Role-playing is the key here; the book will not tell you how to do 24/7 or switch or even just be yourself. The book contains two apparent contradictions: the fantasies discussed are "male" but women are told to do only what makes them feel good. Frankly, I don't think the five main fantasies (nursemaid, governess, queen, Amazon, and goddess) are necessarily "male" and realisticly if the focus is time and again on figuring out what the man wants, how can a woman figure out what she wants. The fact is that Lorelei is correct: relationships take compromise but that doesn't equal sacrifice from either party.
- Early Intro to D/s
By A3I616QPA7JSGJ on 2004-12-28
If your lover has asked you to engage in BDSM or erotic roleplay and you've never really had an interest yourself OR you are the lover and you're looking for a little intro book to help out your would-be-domme, this book could be helpful for you. The author has put in considerable effort to explain the why's and how's of Dominance/submission - and tries to make it seem okay/"normal" to someone who may be nervous or concerned about engaging in BDSM or erotic roleplay.
However, if you have even the slightest dominant inclination, interest or experience, this book will be a waste of time and money. If you are already into BDSM and feel good about it, then you've already passed this book by.
- Excellent with a smile
By on 2003-08-17
Few books about this topic are as humorous, insightfull and acurate. Mistress Lorelei has written a book that has a decidely female perspective to it (grin) yet bares the poor males inner thinking with cunning precision. It is almost like a licence to exploit men, who will gladly surrender to any Female knowing how to apply the subtle art of Femdom as described by Mistress Lorelei. Whether you are involved in the scene already or are getting to ready to join, you will find invaluable advice in this easy to read, decidely erotic and non-threatening book.
- Interesting and entertaining. Could help conservative couple's to spice up their love lives.
By A1J93EGDYK0IWA on 2007-02-26
I work in the capacity of a personal and professional growth coach with a very sex positive approach. I find that when people have issues, they often show up eventually in the bedroom. I also have an assumption that our society has both a fascination with sex and at the same time a lot of guilt, shame and ignorance around it, especially areas involving sexual fantasies.
As a psychological professional, I see that shame and guilt around certain fantasies often leads to acting out. Husbands and wives are often reticent to share some of their fantasies because of shame and this creates a barrier between them. In my practice, I have found honest, humor and a safe environment leads to increased intimacy and a safe space to explore new behaviors that enhance intimacy.
In our culture, women often feel disempowered and sometimes they fantasize about turning the tables. A lot of men find this interesting too and sometimes even pay for it because they are too ashamed to discuss this desire with their wife or partner. While there is a lot of material out there on this topic and other related topics, not all of them are equal.
I came across this book accidentally in a bookstore and picked it up and started reading it. I found it entertaining and it had some ideas that I laughed at and others that sounded very interesting. This book also explored five archetypal fantasies that form the basis of many men's fantasies with respect to a woman being dominant. This was an interesting discussion and it lead deeper into the territory of how to discuss these fantasies with a partner and use this material to spice up your sexual communication and sex life.
This title is geared to conversative couples who want to wade slowly into exploring new sexual territory. As such, it is an excellent start. I personally believe that although sex is to be taken very seriously, it also important to balance this with humor and a sense of playfulness. This book has this type of approach and would be good for a lot of couples interested in this area to explore together.
Also, as part of my work I deal with people who have sexual addictions, sexual co-dependency, etc. I think there is potential in many sexual activities to go too far and the area of domination/submission role playing is no exception. However, like most things, it can be fun and beneficial in moderation. What moderation is depends upon each individual couple and what they co-create together as a safe space for sexual play.
I would love to see a world where people were less inhibited and open to learning more about their psyche and needs through the safe and open exploration of their fantasies. What we repress, we often act out and try to work out on the outside. Also, these fantasies sometimes point to deep needs, past wounds and provide compensatory mechanisms in the psyche.
If you want to introduce a partner who is shy or inhibited, but that you suspect has an interest in this area, this is probably the best book you can start with. If you are into the scene already, it may be a lot of material you've already seen. However, it's a nice, brief introduction to a taboo topic and I appreciate the sex positive approach.
I am currently doing research in the area of healthy sexuality and some must have books I've come across are YOUR EROTIC MIND, THE EVOLUTION OF DESIRE and DARK EROS. I think it is very important to explore the entire psyche and seek integration rather than cutting off or being ashamed of kinks or desire that other people might find as odd. These books that I mentioned above will help you to understand why you have the types of fantasies you have, where they come from, what they might mean and help you to develop a healthy realtionship to them.
- A great guide to the world of FemDom
By A2LB8AA0N28VZ0 on 2005-02-06
Lorelei has written a number of excellent books about Female Domination. I also enjoyed "Charm School for Sissy Maids".
Lorelei and Elise Sutton (author of "Female Domination") seem to have a great comprehension about the submissive desires of males. Female Domination is a common male fantasy but at some point, a man might want to make it a reality by discussing his desires with the woman in his life. This book would be an excellent book to give to the novice woman as she begins her journey into the fascinating world of Female Domination.
- Not Just a Good Read, But a Beginner's Reference Manual
By AA7202XJHX45N on 2004-10-22
Many books will show you how to be a dom, but few will tell you why. This book accurately explains some of the psyches of the sub. When you understand the motivations behind your scene, the enactment is much more enjoyable for both parties. It is a great beginner book, but also a good read for mid-level doms (and subs) as it is articulate in explaining the emotional state of the submissive in different contexts.
- A *perfect* guide for anyone new to BDSM
By on 2004-03-26
This was a gentle, well-written guide to female dominance, but I think it's a great book for anyone interested in BDSM. Some books on the topic are hard-edged, but this author clearly has a deep respect for both the dom and the sub. If you have questions or curiosity about D/s at all, this is a great place to start.
- The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominan
By A39MCH936QK9I7 on 2001-11-18
If anyone has any questions, doubts of how to do femdom, or where to start a scene, this book tells how. This work by Lorelei is the best how-to that I've read. I recommend it for any of the ladies out there who are uncertain about "femdom". This book will show you how to have fun with female dominance
- Nice Introduction to Dominance
By A3QGJ11XVUZ29 on 2005-08-05
The Mistress Manual provides sound information for anyone new to the world of Female Domination. The how and whys of this lifestyle are explained in straight forward explanations by Lorelei. I can recommend this book highly for novice Dominatrix and as a good source of information for seasoned veterans as well.
- From a full-time slave
By A2FXFGUA61P89J on 2004-02-18
great stuff .It is such an accurate desscription, of a sub and me ,that I cannot believe a woman wrote it .To the women who want control this is a must buy. My wife has complete control over me by doing most things mentioned in this book .Ladies start slow and you will eventually have a docile man .It took my wife 14 yrs to have her way completely with me
Jim email me if you need help ladies or men redford444@2die4.com
- From a full-time slave
By A3KFFRKRGSGHV4 on 2004-02-17
This is so accurate to my desires as a slave that I cannot believe this is written by a woman.Is this a pseudonym .In the beginning of the book it says "do not let your slave read this". As if a male slave can stand up to a woman even if we know her secrets.When my dom cries she has me crying even though I know woman cry often to gain an edge over men.I think every man should serve a woman.It would be a better world.with no wars. It is so gratifying ,after 14 years of being trained ,to finally be at the point of total submission. My dom can make me do anything.In the beginning this was a temporary game.Now we are near full-time dom sub.The only thing I disagree with is the book makes it sound like it is a make-believe game.Even if it is,I guess it started as a game for us,good behavior is bound to spill over into real life.My wife gets more gifts out of me as a result of this training. I worried in the beginning that if I submit that my life will get tuffer and tuffer (and I would never be free) .I do my chores but I smile as I think of our agreement "I get to cum for total obedience "(I thought I would get intercourse,But I have given up control of when and how I get to cum) and this is all the motivation a man needs to be enslaved.As far a freedom goes I don't want it .I wouldn't trades my life for any other. ...
- Mysoginistic. . .
By A2TQAHUUAKI0MB on 2007-04-02
Most of this book is tainted with this woman's petty revenge fantasies. She can't seem to seperate the idea of a well balanced BDSM relationship, founded on ideas such as trust and respect, from her indignacy at her perceived "second class citizen" status because she is a woman. I know several very self possessed dominant women in my circle who were aghast at the lack of respect represented in this book for the submissive partner.
- a very limited view
By A20OQNKIQTSB6D on 2007-02-02
this book was very disappointing, it is a very limited point of view written for a committed male/female couple and no one else, also only talks about "domestic discpline" not really about the BDSM mindset. I really didn't learn a thing from this about truely creating a scene and understanding your sub.
- Pleasantly surprised
By AIHLBLOLNMLIR on 2007-12-22
I was very pleased with this book, especially after my husband had read it and to my surprise, my pleasant surprise, showed a great interest in the subject. He came out, if that is the correct expression during dinner a couple of weeks ago.His inhibitions loosened by the wine, he said, if I was interested he would like to try out some of the techniques in the book. Boy oh boy was I interested. My glass stopped half way to my mouth and I just looked at him and he just smiled shyly. That opened the flood gates, I gulped down my wine and dragged him up to bed. We never finished dinner that evening, but we had our fill of something better. We have progressed further in our love making and now and our fifteen year marriage has been elevated to another level. We have not considered seeking out others to join in the fun, but if John suggests it, I am open to experimentation. Its amazing what a book can do for a relationship, I bought him a copy of the very excellent and fantastically sexually charged 100 Percent Erotica by Suzie Van Aartman not long ago and the explicit but tasteful erotic antics really turned us both on tremendously, I can highly recomend both of them
- A Fem Dom's Opinion
By A3LX7FGA3W25HJ on 2007-02-15
This book had some good introductory information, but would be most effective when used in conjunction with another BDSM primer. It offered alot of useful information,but could have benefitted from having a few diagrams. (i.e. the areas of safe spanking)Still over all a satisfactory read.
- A very good book
By A128HSWU33U2VS on 2006-07-09
This book is written extreamely well. All ideas come across in the book without using any bad language. The author does not automatically assume the reader's attitudes / outlooks - she writes it objectively. She covers what she has advertised on the title - and even has a small vocabulary in the back [doesn't assume that the reader knows all of the abbreviations used in the book. The style the book is written in keeps interest - I read the 163 pages in one day.
- Spiritually Uplifting
By A2Z3504HDYX6OX on 2008-10-12
This is a spiritually uplifting book for both sexually dominant females and curious males as well. It explores the physiological nature of what it means to be a female dominant. For those who are interested or are committed to this form of sexual expression, spirituality and freedom of thought this is a well written book with a true understanding of what female dominance is, means and offers to the unbridled spirit of ultimate expression.
- Not too great
By AJZTJ7K32FR70 on 2003-11-06
I wouldn't buy this book again, I will end up selling it on ebay. Not a good choice.
- My girlfriend went nuts for this!
By ARD9H4B6BGACX on 2007-07-25
Innocent, sweet, wholesome small town girl....now a whip wielding, thigh high leather boot wearing dominatrix....!!!! Get your lady a copy!
- Great reading
By A2BXQH5OA89FWP on 2008-01-23
I was a bit doubtful when purchasing this book. But it turned out to be a well written, informative guide to Domestic Dominance.
It's difficult to write a BDSM book that will be liked and praised by everyone. Kink is, after all, a very personal and intimate thing. However "The Mistress Manual" is a book I would recommend to every girl and woman who is fascinated by the subject and want to find out more about it.
Unlike many books on the topic, "The Mistress Manual" does not focus on describing all the fantasies connected to Female Dominance. Nor does it claim to be the ultimate guide.
However it's full of useful tips and advice, not to mention some of the technical aspects of BDSM.
To the author I say: Great job!
TO all the potential readers: This is worth your time.
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