Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear, 2nd Edition Reviews

• A Book for Global Transformation

  
  By AKUT8IOQPS7ZH on 2007-01-18
  Henry David Thoreau first read his essay on "Civil Disobedience" in public during a lecture in 1848 and within fifty years, a young Indian lawyer in Africa had read it and incorporated those ideas into his own life. That lawyer was named Mohandas Gandhi, and Thoreau's work, along with the work of Russian writer Leo Tolstoy, became the foundation of a movement that brought down an empire and changed the course of world history. Someone once said to me, "There is nothing in the world so powerful as an idea whose time has come." Pam Leo's book, "Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion... Through Love Instead of Fear" is a book of ideas whose time has come.
  
  After reading this book, I understood myself better than I ever have from reading any other book. And trust me, I've read a lot of books, on average two or three a week for the last 35 years. In every book, I've found one or two useful bits about the human condition that I could both absorb and put into practice. This is the only body of work I have ever encountered where all the scattered pieces are in one place, all at the same time.
  
  There are at least four layers in "Connection Parenting". The first layer is the most obvious; it's a book about parent/child bonding and attachment. This is a practical framework for optimizing family relationships so that everyone in a family gets their essential needs met and can thrive. This book lays out what we need to do differently so our children don't drive us crazy, so they can grow up to be whole, functional adults able to have healthy relationships, find meaningful work, and have satisfying lives. This alone is worth the price of the book, just for the information we need to become more effective parents.
  
  A second layer is that this book also maps out a process for building a Connection Parenting support community, using these ideas as a foundation for developing our current relationships with other parents into proactive resources. Many of us have lost the strong connections and support from our extended family. We are hungry for real community, and we desperately need the resources and support that community can provide. This is a workshop in a book, and though I'm certain it will be incredibly useful for any parent who reads it and completes the exercises by themselves, its greatest power and effect will be realized by those who put it into practice as a member of a parenting group committed to mutual support.
  
  The third layer speaks to self-reflection, which is where I started this review. It is impossible to read Connection Parenting without some small, quiet, internal aspect of our heart saying, "Wait a minute, if this is what I really needed as a child, and that is what I got instead, well no wonder I have these kinds of challenges in my life as an adult." While the primary focus of "Connection Parenting" is indeed creating and sustaining healthy parent/child bonds, the reality is that this book carries both a theoretical and a practical framework for optimal development in all human relationships.
  
  The fourth layer may not be so obvious. At its core, "Connection Parenting" is about love, about deep, human bonding through trust, compassion and respect. If we raise generations of children in this way, millions of them throughout the world, what kind of society and culture will they create over time? What if everyone knew this, lived it, and practiced it in every family, in every relationship? Perhaps you think it was marketing spin, pure hyperbole, for me to compare "Connection Parenting" with "Civil Disobedience". Ok, that's fine, but I'll make a prediction here: Connection Parenting is going to shake the world in ways we can't even begin to see today. What effect will these ideas have on war, crime, domestic violence, child abuse, drug addiction, poverty and so on? How will positive changes in those persistent and problematic social challenges affect our global economy? This body of work implies downstream impacts that are monumental in scope.
  
  I suspect "Connection Parenting" will be incredibly controversial. I've already seen a direct correlation between the level of my reaction to some of the ideas set forth here and the level of wounding I still carry inside myself from my own childhood. If I've seen that in myself, I can only imagine how people from groups based on coercive ideologies will respond. Let me say that a different way. If you read this book and find yourself reacting with strong resistance, your reaction will likely be in exact proportion to the degree to which your needs were not met as a child, as they are set forth in this book. I personally don't see that as a bad thing, in fact, I see it as helpful when ideas new to me illuminate the darker corners in me that I'm still working out.
  
  Whatever your reaction, my deepest hope is that everyone reads this book and applies Connection Parenting principles within their families and in their relationships with children. I will gladly recommend this book to every client I work with. Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see." "Connection Parenting" can change the world one family at a time and that's good enough for me.
  
  Carmine Leo, CEC, PCC
  Executive & Corporate Coach
  Emotional Intelligence Development
  www.LifeCoaching.com
  
  A brief note after the review:
  
  By now you may have noticed that Pam and I share a common surname. You might even have guessed that we are related, and indeed we are: Pam is my former wife and current dearest friend. If you think that makes me biased, you are absolutely correct. I suspect that there is no one in the world, other than Pam herself, who is more intimately familiar with her work than I am. Throughout the decades of our relationship it has been, without exception, an extraordinary privilege to know her, to learn from her, and to be a witness to the evolution of the body of ideas set forth in Connection Parenting. How many divorced men do you know who are willing and able to say that about their former wives? If I have been able to contribute to her success in some small way, that too has been one of her many gifts to me.
  
  

• It really answers some basic parenting questions about the truth of rearing children who feel loved and love in return

  
  By AQX8JH4S95272 on 2005-10-20
  I have read Pam Leo's book from cover to cover, and I want to recommend it to all parents and caregivers who feel frustrated with their children, tired of their behavior or wonder how to meet their needs. For example, in a book store yesterday, I observed several parents with toddlers in strollers who were listening to an author read a story book. The children were frustrated, some crying,and one insisting to be held by his mom who told this two-year old to sit still. This is a plainly a case of tired parents taking child out for entertainment and education.Was anyone benefitting? Were mom's needs or child's needs being met? If this sounds like you, buy and read Connection Parenting from cover to cover. It answers in such simple and common sense language how to meet your child'd needs through love and bonding, not fear or threats, or fatigue. It will change your thinking.
  
  Dr. Caron Goode
  Academy for Coaching Parents International, LLC
  www.acpi.biz
  
  

• Read this book!

  
  By A3GHBN0UH02CCX on 2006-06-21
  I few years ago I went to Maine to give a talk about parenting. A number of moms came up to ask questions afterwards, and I was amazed at how thoughtful and reflective they were about their children, and about themselves. They all had a tremendous respect for their children and some great ideas about how to make things better for their families. I asked them, jokingly, if they had all taken the same class or something. They laughed and said that they had, they had taken Pam Leo's workshop called Meeting the Needs of Children. i decided I had to meet this person, and I did. We ended up presenting several lectures and workshops together. I was thrilled when she wrote her book, so that now those people who aren't able to take her class (and even those who do) can still get her wisdom and warmth. After reading the book, I was even more thrilled--it is well-written, powerful, and compassionate. I strongly recommend it. Larry Cohen, author of Playful Parenting.
  
  

• The best introduction for Compassionate, Connected Parenting

  
  By AT6Q414DKBE6R on 2007-12-31
  There seem to be no bounds to clever and innovative ways of changing children's behaviour. Common approaches span anything from spanking, time outs, Magic 1, 2, 3, to positive discipline and offering rewards. The commonality of these "techniques" are that they begin with the aim of controling, manipulating or altering behaviour.
  
  Then there is the other world view. This alternative attempts to delve beyond a child's behaviour and focuses on who the child is, their intrinsic motivation and the importance or primacy of their relationship with the parent in that context.
  
  This often involves understanding, meeting needs and connecting with a child. There are no quick fixes here, it is an approach based on non coercive, respectful and loving relationships. For practitioners of this parenting approach behaviour becomes another form of communication and expression, rather than something to be controlled or changed.
  
  This world view also has its fair share of acronyms, books and techniques - often to the point where parents wanting to explore it will not know where to begin. Well at least that is one problem solved...
  
  If you are indeed curious about and open to this alternative approach then Pam Leo's Connection Parenting represents a fantastic introduction, distillation and road map for your journey. (Pam Leo pictured right.)
  
  The book is a product from Pam Leo's more than 55,000 hours of experience with children and stems from a Connection Parenting Course she initiated in 1982 entitled "Meeting the Needs of Children". The years spent developing, refining and simplifying her message pay off with a strong clarity and economy in her book, making it extremely readable.
  
  For those brave enough you can interact and engage with it fully by answering questions and doing exercises. For others it can still become an excellent reference and summary of many key concepts in the field of non coercive parenting.
  
  IT'S ABOUT YOU
  
  Leo begins and ends the book with a confronting look at ourselves, the parents. The first chapter, "Connecting with Ourselves" examines our self perceived strengths and weaknesses as well as our own experience of being parented to assist in identifying our "parenting inheritance".
  
  In this process Leo is constantly encouraging us to be compassionate and accepting of what has been. She creates a powerful balance between understanding and outing our baggage while focusing energy on where we wish to go from here. In fact she encourages us to generate a list of parenting goals which she refers to throughout the rest of the book.
  
  The book ends with a chapter entitled "Connecting with Our Own Needs". Here she identifies that children's needs are best met when we acknowledge and meet our needs first. From small daily tips (eg. taking 10 minutes a day to nurture yourself) to developing resources, support structures and communities around yourself - its focus is providing the parent with the most powerful context and opportunity to connect with their child possible.
  
  These two chapters frame the discussion - on one side connecting with ourselves and on the other connecting with our needs and in the process often with a broader support community. Within that framework the remaining five chapters explore practical approaches to connect with our child.
  
  TREASURING CHILDREN
  
  A basic premise of Connection Parenting is that "maintaining connection is the key to loving, effective parenting and to our children's optimal human development." Connection then becomes a prism through which Leo understands and explains many other parenting issues.
  
  Leo launches the section on connection with children with a strong argument for greater respect of children. Her passion and ability to empathise with children shine through. Ultimately she suggests affording our children the same respect that we would give a friend. Rather than lecturing children Leo underlines the crucial role of modeling, as she says, "how we treat them is what we teach them."
  
  In the chapters on Connecting through "Listening to Children's Feelings" and "through Communication that Builds Relationship", Leo manages to use and summarise key concepts from the likes of Aletha Solther's Aware Parenting, Marshall Rosenburg's Non Violent Communication and others.
  
  Leo touches on the paradigm shift, that crying and "tantrums" are part of releasing emotions and a healing process that are healthy and important to support rather than trying to shut down. At the same time she outlines concrete examples of how to "listen with love and compassion". With all of these concepts Leo identifies common practices before suggesting and detailing "New Skills", including concrete examples.
  
  Finally in the chapter on "Connection through the Discipline of Decoding Children's Behaviour" Leo outlines "behaviour as a communication of need". Again in a massive shift from behaviourally focused parenting approaches Leo argues that "children need love more when they appear to deserve it the least." She spells out specific steps parents can take in understanding and meeting their child's needs in the midst of heated situations.
  
  A POWERFUL BOOK FOR POWERFUL CHANGE
  
  There are countless practical strengths of Connection Parenting - its easy to read format; Leo's ability to introduce and offer practical examples of many concepts; the wealth of references and resources she provides; the prioritising of giving parents tangible tools and skills to make change.
  
  However one of my favourite things about the book was Leo's obvious warmth, compassion and love. She has this for children who her book will contribute to but also a real empathy and understanding of the parent.
  
  In my experience parents exploring alternative parenting often get caught in cycles of guilt, self blame and judgement for what has been or what they are unable to achieve - Leo seems to anticipate this and her wisdom is consistently expressed in forgiving, gentle tones throughout.
  
  For those seasoned parents who have read many books in this field and are practicing unschooling, consensual living or connected parenting - then Leo's explanations might be familiar, perhaps even superficial at times. However that is a reasonable price to pay for covering so much ground so fast. That said, even the most seasoned and well read non coercive parent will no doubt find a few new gems and appreciate the straightforward style as Leo distills many concepts and ideas so simply.
  
  For parents new to these topics Connection Parenting is more than an interesting read, it can be a plan for action and change. It is not necessarily going to convince parents to make change but is the perfect first step for those who are already asking questions and wanting change.
  
  Quite simply if you are, or you know someone at the early stages of exploring alternatives to authoritarian, coercive or behaviourally focussed parenting then buying Connection Parenting is the best possible first step you can make.
  
  

• Great advice

  
  By A1CF9MGILIOK6Z on 2006-12-11
  I'm a first time parent of a toddler, and am looking for ways to ensure that I raise a loving, emotionally healthy child. This book provides some very practical advice and explains emotional needs in a way that seems simple and to the point. The book is a quick read. I took away a lot from this book, and it has already helped me in dealing with my child's tantrums and has made me more aware of my actions and reactions toward her behavior.
  
  
• Connection Parenting
  By A1G44NROUNI1M0 on 2006-01-06
  Dear Pam
  I just finished Connection Parenting and wanted to write and tell you how much I loved it. I actually read through it and plan to go back and take each chapter by chapter and do all the exercises. Even just reading straight through has helped so much. I finished it yesterday and found myself today trying not say don't and to think twice speak once.
  I feel this book has so much needed information for parents. Each chapter I read I kept saying to myself, that makes so much sense. I would take key paragraphs and have my husband read them. He too found it helpful. Though we are attachment parenters to our 20 month old son , there are still things I find myself say or do that I want to change. It also brought me back to childhood and habits I have made sense to me. Like crying when angry and biting my nails for example.
  I could go on and on about what I liked about the book, but since it was everything, I just want to share the certain points you made that I can't get out of my head.
  The Ghandi/Hitler role reversal section was very powerful. The think twice/speak once had a huge impact on me. It just make total sense. The section where you wrote about babies crying is supposed to bother us is information that I knew, but when you followed it with a child's button pushing behavior is also meant to bother us. Again made total sense. Of course they are trying to tell us something is wrong!
  again, this is just a short list of what I loved about the book.
  I made a promise to myself after I had my son that when any friend or family member became pregnant I was going to give them a selection of books that I felt were important to read. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and The Baby Book are at the top of the list. I want you to know Connection Parenting just got added to my must give list and one of the top ones. Though my son is only 20 months, I wish I had had it when I was pregnant. Your book is a must have for any parent.
  Thank you so much for this book and I would love to see your workshop in NH!
  Warmly,
  Jamie Hupfer
  
  
  
• Fuzzy Advice for Fuzzy Thinking and Warm Fuzzy Feelings
  By A2X3ZG204F6VA on 2008-04-19
  This is a book for people who want to feel this type of parenting. Those who want to think through it will be very disappointed.
  
  _Connection Parenting_ is targeted at parents or parents-to-be who have emotional baggage from their own childhood. It is a rather short book and thus much of the space that I would have preferred it spend on specific, concrete advice on working with one's children was instead dedicated to helping parents get beyond their hang-ups. This can be frustrating if you do not have that many hang-ups.
  
  In addition, there are a number of assumptions made about this type of parenting, which are not backed up by hard evidence. The examples of respectful, loving dialogue are good, but too few, and there are precious few examples of working with children who are feeling combative, or who are already angry, for whatever reason.
  
  I was raised in a gentle household and I believe in gentle, connecting, attachment-fostering parenting. But I felt like I should be going through it in a cold public-space basement with seven other adults in a meeting on folding chairs, and there is a man across from me crying or something, and the rest of us are stuck praying that the facilitator does not try to initiate a group hug.
  
  It is more a self-help book than a parenting book. I am glad that I got _Adventures in Gentle Discipline_ at the same time, because this one was not very helpful for me.
  
  
• What an unbelievable book
  By A3IIBWZWABS7H7 on 2006-01-06
  I cannot say enough about this book. Pam Leo has written a book which EVERY parent should read. And she cites other authors and recommends other books also. But you probably do not need another. My library is complete with Connection Parenting. Thank you Pam.
  
  
• Top of the List To Read!
  By A17GBT34JUT02X on 2006-04-23
  Pam Leo has captured the essence of what children need most - connection. She compassionately describes how in western culture, we have gotten disconnected. Stress on the family and children has become the normal. Pam's Connection Parenting Approach and book helps reawaken our inner knowing of how to be with children from a loving place that meets their innate core need of CONNECTION.
  As an educator, researcher, and practitioner supporting families and babies from the beginning of life, I find her principles and ways of being with children are beautiful principles to guide the way we welcome and support babies too. It's never too early or too late to read this wonderful book. I recommend it be ON THE TOP OF YOUR LIST OF TO READ BOOKS.
  
  
• From the author of, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves
  By A643ESB52VQKW on 2006-06-13
  As the author of Raising Our children, Raising Ourselves, I recommend Pam's book with all my heart. It is clear, direct, and leaves no stone unturned. "When children feel better they behave better," says Pam. This amazing little phrase is an example of how the whole book is written. It makes sense. If you want to know how to talk to your child in a way that she will feel better and therefore behave better, read Pam's book.
  
  Connection Parenting is a practical and clear guide on on how to connect with your child, especially when things go wrong. No matter how bad the behavior or situation is, staying connected is the way to peaceful solutions. The book is easy to understand and it leaves you with the feeling of, "This is simple, I can do this." Connection Parenting and Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves complement each other powerfully. Pam and I have just read each other's books and are loving the connection as, I believe, you will.
  
  
• Loved It!
  By A275162YE7M0FX on 2007-01-12
  I loved this book. Pam Leo puts words to why children act out, melt down, or are whiny or clingy at times. This book was very helpful in trying to describe these behaviors to my husband who felt our toddler was acting "unreasonable" at times!!! If you like attachment parenting books, you will love this one. It's a quick read but packed with great information. I bought a few copies and gave them to friends.
  
  
• A Wonderful Parenting Book
  By A1QDCW6FGZSXH on 2007-04-30
  I read this book as a parent and as a clinical social worker. I think Ms. Leo did a fabulous job of offering us the insights, resources, and information we need to become more effective parents. Her notion of connection vs. confrontative parenting styles is eye opening and the book gives us the tools we need to implement these valuable changes in our parenting styles. I would strongly recommend this book to all parents and will be referring it to friends who do family therapy to use with their clients.
  
  
• A blessing for parents in times of dire need
  By A2G281OZ2EQP3S on 2007-12-30
  This book was heaven sent and such a blessing. When my little girl turned 20 months everything seemed to fall apart - behaviour wise. My parenting skills were no longer working to keep her - and us - happy. This book was so easy and quick to read and all of sudden it all made sense. With a few simple and subtle changes to my parenting we were back on track and happier than ever. I was so impressed I ordered in mutliple copies to sell via my not for profit organisation - Future Families. I recommend it to every one that asks for 'help' or advice with guidance / discipline with children. Pam has truly captured the ease and joy of parenting more simply than any other author I have found. Without all the technical jargon, just easy steps of what to do and what not to do. I want to give my child a better (more loving, caring, joyful) childhood than I had. And now I know how. Hugs to Pam.
  
  
• A loving and respectful way to parent...
  By A3V27O8Q059JST on 2006-04-19
  I am currently reading Connection Parenting and using what I learn in each chapter with my children. I'm usually very skeptical about how books and the ideas they share are going to work in my everyday life and with my children; I've been amazed with the results. Many times I've read something and say "I do that" and then the book helps explain why what I'm doing works well for children and why other things I do don't. I've been able to take the best of what I do and expand when and how I do it, and for the things that don't work I'm able to toss them out the window. My wife and I used to disagree on how to parent, and this book has helped us each take our strengths and apply them in the simple approach described in the book. And it makes it easier to face our weaknesses as the book describes we parent how we were parented, and doesn't reprimand us for being "bad parents". The book is easy to read and has examples and references to other great books to help the reader find more resources for areas they may want additional information. I can't recommend the book enough. This book is wonderful!
  
  
• Changes even the most frazzled families!
  By A1RK1FVZ6GROH2 on 2008-01-04
  I bought this book on the high recommendation from friends. Boy, was it worth it! I'm not a mom who is working with perfect, well-behaved children trying to hone my skills. I'm a frazzled, anxious mom with 2 children with special needs. Let me tell you, Connection Parenting WORKS!
  
  I've been working on at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted one-on-one time with each child per day (just one of MANY useful tips in this book). It is making a tremendous impact on both children, especially my son. He is much more cuddly and happy. The tips and tools in this book are really amazing. A parenting journal is just essential. It helps heal our past and change us to help our kids' needs.
  
  I can't say enough. Go out and buy it! You WON'T regret it!
  
  
  
• Read it once and then read it again!
  By A2KB7QN9MIFM1K on 2008-01-10
  I had the pleasure of taking Pam's class Connection Parenting when my daughter was a newborn. I have recently reread the book with a book group.
  I truly enjoyed reading and using the book again. Now that my daughter is older and I actually have some practical experience and situations to struggle over, I have a much deeper perspective.
  
  I am so happy I read the book and took the class at the beginning of my parenting journey - it gave me such a great foundation to work from. In this second reading/group I am working on deepening and refining my parenting skills.
  
  I have suggested to my book group that they read the book again in a couple years - either as a group or individually because I am getting so much out of it again. And you better believe I will read the book again in another year or two!
  
  
  
  
• Best Parenting Book I've Read in a Long Time
  By A3CYDIL50B89DA on 2008-05-16
  When I had my first child 5 years ago I began amassing quite a library of Parenting books. I have to admit that being a committed attachment parent I was alittle skeptical as to whether or not this book could add to my knowledge. I can't speak more highly of a parenting book. It really explains child behavior and needs in a way that gave me SO many Aha's. She strikes a wonderful balance between parent's needs and children's needs while at the same time being very straight forward about what so many kids aren't getting emotionally in today's world. I'm anxious to find a support group locally that espouses her ideas. In the meantime I've once again shifted my parenting methods and I'm trying to give my child more of what she really needs - Connection!
  
  
• Wonderful, fantastic guidebook for parents
  By A3UUFQFU03TJEO on 2007-01-03
  I have found this book extremely helpful for building my relationship with my toddler. I was able to easily find "not so" perfect ways my husband and I were parenting. We have also been able to begin to change our patterns with healthier parenting practices. This book is great because the author takes the time to relieve us parents of guilt, recognizing we don't know what we don't know, until we learn. I really connected with this book and highly recommend it. My toddler is happy and blossoming now, and I think a lot of that has to do with the little changes we are consistently working to make.
  
  
• If you must have only one book, this is it.
  By AY4IZCBBVZ48E on 2007-03-26
  I believe this is the book to get and give. It is simple yet powerful. Quick to read and you can begin fresh in your parenting right away. A great book to share with your parenting partners. I have read many books I consider very important to my own parenting journey, but this one is the most comprehensive (yet to-the-point). It refers to many other books you can read to follow up for more inspiration like Playful Parenting by L. Cohen. However, in a phone call with Ms. Leo, she indicated two other books that are new that didn't make it into Connection Parenting before it was printed. I got those books and love them, too. They are: ScreamFree Parenting by Runkel(she didn't agree with everything but thought it was overall a great book, and I do too); Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort (fantastic book. Love the S.A.L.V.E. formula which was also something I put to work right away with my toddler.) Change your whole life by trying these 3 books, starting with Connection Parenting, and seeing how far the rabbit hole goes by undoing your own patterns of old behaviors. Anyone can parent more mindfully, more gently, and with more sensitivity to their child and build a relationship based on two-way respect.
  
  
• Excellent! Hits all the topics.
  By A2V9V43ETK008S on 2007-09-02
  This book is excellent. It serves as a great intro the idea of connection parenting. Talks about "filling the emotional cup", listening with love, connecting through play, alternatives to saying don't, trouble with praise, decoding behavior issues, the idea of true parental discipline. There is even a nice chapter at the end about fill our own cup to ensure we have something to give. I really enjoyed Pam's writing style and even the font was good--it makes it easy to find stuff later for reference with the different subtitles. And, she doesn't just spend the book telling you what not to do and why. She gives you very concrete examples.
  
  Example:
  In her section about giving orders and control, she suggests
  Instead of "Go brush your teeth."
  Invitation: "Let's go brush our teeth."
  Transistion information: "It's time for brushing our teeth."
  And,
  Instead of saying "good girl" or "good boy" which shows approval not encouragement, she says encourage by noticing, appreciating, and describing:
  We say "You picked up your toys. Thank you for the help!"
  Child hears: I am helpful.
  We say "You swam all the way across the pool!"
  Child hears: I am a good swimmer.
  
  I feel like my next step is to read some of the books Pam recommends at the end of each chapter including, Playful Parenting, Unconditional Parenting--Moving from Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason. I believe some of these will go into more detail on specific aspects of this book. But, if you are going to read just one parenting book, this should be it! It covers it all with just enough detail to explain and provide alternatives! Excellent!!
  
  
  
  
  
• Great Practical Advice
  By A35PZU7GS2C65M on 2007-12-18
  This was the information I was looking for. Other parenting books only give the theory or ideas but do not give you the real life examples and applications. Found this to be extremely helpful in changing my behavior and in turn my child's response to me.
  
  
• A Parenting "Must Have"
  By A4FHEBF1X4O0O on 2008-04-03
  Connection Parenting is one of those books that needs to be on every bookshelf, whether one is a parent or not. As a culture we are often so disassociated with the experiences of children that we are unaware of how we treat them or how this impacts our relationships with them and the people that they become. Are we forgetting that today's children will be the ones we will look to for compassion as we age?
  
  I am such a believer of Pam Leo's work that I facilitate workshops in New York City based on Connection Parenting. It is so fulfilling to see parent's and educator's "light bulbs go on" when they get it.
  
  As some reviewers have mentioned it can be challenging to question ourselves as well as how we were parented. It certainly is.
  Anyone who reads this book will not stand for the alternative.
  
  
• Great book to use with any age of kids
  By A37X83H8JK3K55 on 2008-06-25
  Pam Leo has touched on a subject that is most important this day and age- connection. As you rewind, repair and replay your communication with your child, you are taking the steps to a better connection now and for the future. Pam's extensive research, presented in this book, gives you great idea's, activities and pertinent facts in working through any situation that may arise between you and your child. Connection Parenting is also a great tool in dealing with discipline in your home. Becoming aware of you and your child's communication styles and rethinking your approach can reconnect and build self esteem and worth. I wish I would have had this book when my kids were younger!!
  
  
• This is a Must Read!
  By A1PHOOW5HOOGSO on 2007-01-20
  As a Parent Coach and Educator, I have read many parenting books and this is one of my absolute favorites. When I first read it, I felt a recognition on a soul level, that yes, this is the most compassionate, loving way to raise children. And I have seen marked changes in my own family, as well as others, in using its strategies. Contrary to many books that address behavioral issues externally, this looks at the internal motivations of children and helps decode their needs and ways of being. There are also useful exercises for understanding your own parenting style.
  
  This book succinctly and compassionately addresses children's emotions and how best to handle them, the difference between punishment and discipline; teaching children respect and how to build self-esteem; how your parents affect how you parent; how to understand yourself and your children better; and as a result, how to create a more harmonious and joy-filled home environment. Our home is transformed as a result of this book - we are more loving, more connected and much happier. Most of the power struggles that ensued from more behaviorist approaches to parenting, are gone.
  
  If you buy one parenting book - get this one! And the earlier you can start this with your children, the better.
  
  Nica Guinn, Parent Coach
  www.NicaGuinn.com
  
  
• Parenting Cliff's Notes
  By A35N8Y5JUUOLDU on 2007-08-04
  I call this book "The Parenting Cliff's Notes" and I recommend it to anyone who will listen. Pam Leo has spent years working with children and reading books on parenting. She has distilled all that knowledge into an easy-to-read format in this book. This book is also a wonderful barometer through which to decided whether or not to utilize other parenting advice. This is the best of all the parenting books I've read.
  
  

• Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming Parent-child Relationships from Reaction And Struggle to Freedom, Power And Joy
• Playful Parenting
• Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
• Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers