The Apple Reviews

• Money well spent.

  
  By A13ARGEZLM3ZEQ on 2004-07-28
  Since a handful of well-attended screenings have popped up in L.A., Boston, Austin, Seattle and San Francisco in the past two years, this movie has been coveted by all who enjoy a good bad movie. So coveted that bootlegs of questionable quality have been gobbled up on eBay. But now it's here, a bright, shiny print on DVD! This movie can't be missed. Its horrible acting, flimsy plot, unrelentingly bad music and lyrics, cheeseball costumes and, best of all, its earnestness, put it at the top of my list of camp demanding repeat viewings. It's also camp deserving of a wider audience. If you can't laugh at a man walking around in an Amazing Stories robe and silver G-string while antagonizing a wide-eyed music industry protege, what can you laugh at? If you can't appreciate a full-scale underworld scene (with music reminiscent of the worst of "Rocky Horror") in which one guy is wearing a mask with an extra face on it, what's wrong with you? These are just some of the subtle qualities that make this movie so great. Others: An evil overlord/music executive whose offices appear to be in the Kansas City airport. A guy with perpetual cameltoe. A cross between jazz hands and spirit fingers that passes for choreography. A surgical team interrupted by a mandatory exercise period in which the patient even gets a workout. A baffling scene in which a hippie commune gets sucked into the heavens by a white tux-clad guy named Mr. Topps. It's just jaw-droppingly awful ... but a lot of fun.
  
  

• The Apple: A Desparaged Yet Brilliant Masterpiece.

  
  By A1O4TMKKT0XZTJ on 2004-11-17
  The Apple is a merciless depiction of neo-Eden, flawless in its presentation. Brilliant Israeli director Menahem Golan is the master of his craft. When Copernicus first asserted that the sun, not Earth, was the center of the universe, he attained immediate pariah-status. Yet time proved that he was correct and a brilliant visionary. Those who disparage this starkly beautiful film are those who disparaged Copernicus so many years ago, witness and myopic in their world view. Golan has created a world that is uncanny in its resonance to today's post-Clintonian United States, where corporations choose what music Americans will enjoy and where police officers "break into dance," a subversive symbol of the racial injustice that is today's police force. Dancing nuns? Nostradamus would be proud that Golan could foresee, way back in 1980, the "dance" around the facts of child molestation within the Catholic church. This is truly a tour de force of film verite. In its own brilliant, pitiless way, The Apple evokes our own age in its quest for glitter and success. The Apple doesn't moralize over the fate of the beautiful Mr. Boogelow, who loved so unwisely, although his last song is a thoroughly chilling comment on his life and the world in which he lived (1980).
  Catherine Mary Stewart, starlet of The Apple, is a poet and with The Apple as her canvass, this film is as great a cycle of poems as has been written in this century by any poet. This film is so rich and varied that it is difficult to convey how much there is to it. Cleverly constructed, there are hints and cross-references to hidden (and obvious) meanings throughout. Truth and falsity, reality and illusion are constant throughout, side by side, often difficult to differentiate. The Apple is a highly literate, ingenious and intelligent theatrical entertainment, probably cinema's most accomplished screenplay. But while one must respect the screenwriter's wit and erudition, it strikes me as the work of a brilliant impersonator rather than a dramatist with his own authentic voice. The film smells more of the lamp than of the musk of human experience.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• A Shiny Apple Has Lost Some Of Its Luster--A Look At Two Musical Camp Classics

  
  By A27H9DOUGY9FOS on 2006-10-31
  One of the greatest aspects of the DVD format is that it has brought underground cult films to a mass audience. No longer do you have to wonder about the oddball titles you've only heard about or that you've always wanted to see. These films might have been screened in large cities, but soon disappeared only to be whispered about nostalgically or forgotten completely. In my collection, I have two such films--musicals with rabidly supportive fan bases. And while I admire elements of both films, viewed with modern eyes--they are largely notable for their historic curiosity factor only.
  
  "The First Nudie Musical," from 1975, is a slight and amusing romp about a filmmaker trying to save his studio by making a porno musical. A spoof of conventional "let's put on a show!" type movie musicals--the film's humor is sweeter than you might imagine from it's title. In fact, most of the supposed outrageousness is saved for the actual production numbers. With corny costumes, mildly titillating lyrics, and nice sight gags--these songs can be fun if inconsequential. Taken out of it's time period, however, there is nothing particularly shocking about this picture. There is plenty of non-sexual nudity, if you didn't guess that from the title. It is interesting to see Cindy Williams and Diana Canova before they went on to become sitcom stars. Everyone is game and the mood is light. You might chuckle a few times, but it's a low budget affair that's just isn't as funny as you would hope.
  
  "The Apple," from 1980, has different aspirations--but elicits some of the same emotions. This is a rock opera spoof set to a sci-fi beat. With campy costumes, bad power ballads, and a classic struggle between good and evil--this film assaults your senses. It bludgeons you with it's very nature. When a young innocent singer is seduced by fame and fortune and the devilish Mr. Boogalow--it's up to her folksinging partner to save her soul and all of humanity. Designed to be outrageous, it was likely a spectacle when it premiered. Time, however, has dulled some of its glitter--and again, you might be wishing the film were a bit funnier than it actually is.
  
  I think both of these musicals have intrinsic historical value. I love things that try to push the boundaries of mainstream film. For film lovers or curiosity seekers, I recommend you check out either or both films--if they sound interesting. My lower ratings are more for the casual viewer. As satire, spoof or camp--in their day--these films were noteworthy. To a modern audience, they might just seem bad. But if they were meant to be bad, does that make them good? That's a conundrum I leave at your feet. KGHarris, 10/06.
  
  

• SUPER BAD MOVIE ALERT! You must appreciate dreck!

  
  By A2Y9J8NM7VTT2 on 2004-05-18
  Oh, where does one begin? "The Apple" is just one of the best cinematic experiences I have had in my life. I saw a midnight showing of it in March of 2004 at a theater in NYC, and the entire place was shrieking and howling in miserable delight. If you revel in amazingly bad movies (and this one's a musical from 1980, so you know it's really gonna stink), this is for you. Do not pass up the chance to own this piece of crap. I'm completely serious. The shimmer of the costumes, the awful acting, the terrible music, the tight little thongs everyone is wearing and oh yes--it's set in the awfully distant future of 1994. And praise that big juju apple--we are lucky enough to get it in widescreen format. See it!
  
  

• No more bootleg copies - hurrah!

  
  By A1BG43L7BB1EEF on 2004-08-24
  What more can I add? Reviewer CC Incalzini says it all really - very good review!
  
  I'd just like to add that it is great to finally have this film on a 'proper' DVD, I've seen all the bootleg copies for sale on eBay (and believe it or not DVD's too) - buy from Amazon, coz at least then you know you're getting a 'real' copy and not a bootleg! - MGM have done a stonkingly good job of restoring this print (if that's the right word) the awful pan and scan on the video has gone, and because of that you get to see the whole movie. I finally get to see Vladek Sheybal (Mr Boogalow) singing all the way through 'The Master' whereas before I didn't. This actor is great in the movie as he normally plays screen villains and it was great to see him do something different. All in all, a great effort. Now can we turn our attention to getting The Apple soundtrack released on CD (instead of bootleg copies of the album as seen on eBay) - that would complete the set wouldn't it? - why are you running away - what's wrong with you?
  
  
• Take this Apple-a-day and the doctor will be there to stay!
  By AT7W1EXT0PF2Y on 2007-09-24
  The lie that all apples are healthful and beneficial to the human body is ultimately exposed in this nightmare. No apple has done more to harm mankind since Adam and Eve.
  
  B! (I. M.!)
  B! (I. M.!)
  
  It is with these opening words...errr...letters, that we are introduced to to the B.I.M. An evil American music corporation. As we watch these glitter-covered fools in space-suits dancing and singing this musical monstrosity, the scene cuts to Mr. Boogalew, CEO of the corp. as well as his flaming underling, Shake. We are also introduced to the concept that we are watching an 'American Idol' show where the audience votes for the winner, by a reading of their vital signs.
  
  When the songs over, (thank God!) we learn that this takes place in the future! 1994 to be specific. The next song happens to be performed by our heroes, Alphie and Bebe, singing the saccharine song, "Love: the universal melody." It will make you puke.
  
  "We belong to one another/we share each other's destiny./United by our love, we're all children of/the universal family./And we are everybody's brother/we share the birthright to be free./And deep within our heart/there beats the song of the ages/Love: the universal melody!
  
  "Do the BIM!" some moronic make-up wearing teen shouts. I can't imagine the complete lack of intellect a person must possess in order to request the song you just heard performed by a completely different group that has already left the stage. The only thing that got me through this song was the thought of bending BeBe over the hood of my Jeep. As a matter of fact, this was all that got me through this whole movie, as you will find should you read on.
  
  Now we're at a BIM celebration party. They have apparently invited Alphie and Bebe because their song did very well. We're also introduced to Ashley, Mr. Boogalow's flaming head of marketing. He makes up this horrible idea that everyone has to wear a plastic triangle on their foreheads yclept a BIM mark. From this point forward, everyone, including the extras will be wearing one of these.
  
  Dandi, male part of BIM's leading music duo decides to make his moves on Bebe even though she's Alphie's girl. Yep, there's gonna be a song.
  
  "You're made for meeeeee!/Created for meeeeee!/And I am your kiiiiiiiiiing!/You're made for meeeeeeee!/It's fated to beeeee./And you'll be my queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!/ You're made for meeeeeeeeeee!"
  
  And that's about all there is to that song. It is at this point,however, appropriate to bring up the choreography that these people dance to. The choreographer was either a total genius, a Steve Reich of the dance-world, or an inebriated shut-in that wasn't so much showing them how to dance as he was having violent epileptic seizures.
  
  The costumes? It looks like every costume from every broadway musical ever created was vomited, violently, onto the cast members. It is not unusual to see one man running around in a Techno-colour dreamcoat, being chased by the Phantom of the Opera, being chased by the entire cast of Godspell. As a matter of fact, by the end of this movie, sights like this will pass by you unnoticed. You could get into your bed only to find your wife is there with a midget circus-clown dressed up as a pig in a pilgrim costume and you won't bat an eyelash. "Night, Hon."
  
  Had enough? Too bad, because here comes another song! That's right, this movie will NOT give you a chance to take a breather and rejoin the land of the living after each song. There will be very few gaps as you are assaulted with a Tyson-like series of one-two punches that will leave you begging to stay down on the mat.
  
  Like a puppet on a string/Like a monkey on a swing(?)/Man is clinging to the ropes of his fantasies and hopes/We are dangling.(Clown: MR. Boogalow!)
  
  There's not too much to say about this one. I will say that if you are not scarred for life after watching grown men dancing around with boas then I worry about you. Anyway, we now have 4 minutes of dialog nobody cares about before we have another SONG!
  
  You thought the last song was bad? Your naivete charms me. Alphie and Bebe are now in HeIl. It may worry you that the women in this scene are fully clothed while the men are wearing practically nothing. As a matter of fact you should be worried, because I sure as heIl am. This song gets off to a terrifying start as vampires and a hoard of ghastly ghouls darts around like they've just took a shot of jenkem. You'll know you have because that's what this movie is.
  
  Long story short, Bebe signs the contact and Alphie doesn't. Now, Alphie storms out leaving Bebe alone with the BIM. And you know what, you got another friggin song coming. Choke on it. At least they finally show their straight viewers some service and have Bebe scantily clad in workout clothes. About friggin time.
  
  Just because you made it through that song with wrists intact, don't think you can tell your family to un-hide the silverware, because after a few short lines of dialog you've got another song. Things are looking up though, she's clad in Power-ranger gear and does some boxer-cising dance moves.
  
  [...].
  
  I hope you're still reading this, having survived this little soul-tourniquet, and are ready for more. Because you're gonna get more. After Alphie gropes his jewish landlord(he really does this) He sings her a song. The lyrics aren't worth typing.
  
  I would hate for my review to contain spoilers concerning the end of this film so I will write no more. Who am I trying to kid, there just isn't anything left worth writing about. Should I tell you that in the end God comes to Earth in a flying Rolls Royce and saves Alphie and Bebe by taking them to Heaven in his sweet ride? Because that's what friggin happens, that's how this movie ends. Eat it.
  
  
• God-Awful Movie....And I Can't Wait To Own It!
  By A258BPDKX9562W on 2004-06-20
  I first saw this movie when my family first got cable back around 1982. I couldn't imagine why this movie was ever made because it had to have been the absolute worst movie produced in the history of modern cinema. The stiff acting, the cheesy dialogue (Bibi going to tour "The West Coast??" I guess playing New York wasn't that big of a deal), the songs, scary choreography. And set (at the time) in futuristic 1994. Evidently the fashion style of choice in '94 was destined to be shiny garbage bags. And now, this god-awful movie is being released on DVD, in of all months, the month of my birthday. And you better believe I'll be one of the first people to own it! My top favorite movies are "Roxanne" with Steve Martin, "The Shawshank Redemption"...and "The Apple." And I'm not kidding.

  As far as cinematic greatness, this movie doesn't belong in the same category as your basic Academy Award winners. However in terms of what you could watch over and over and never get tired of it, this ranks very high. Yes, it's a horrible story, badly acted, the songs make me cringe - "Pumpin' power by the hour - Speeeed!" "It's a natural natural natural desire, meet an actual actual actual vampire!" (and on a side note, what was with that guy with the warthog / pig nose and blue hair during that whole "hell" scene?), the ending still has me shaking my head (was Mr. Topps God?? And why did he arrive in the limo, yet he and everybody else walked away? And did they actually walk to another planet, which in reality is a pretty far walk...but if they left in 1980, they probably should be there by now). But I love every second of this movie. Love the cheesiness, love the music (I was so happy when a friend found the vinyl soundtrack in a bargain bin.....for...um......25 cents...I've since turned every track into an MP3 and burned it onto a CD since I know Cannon won't be doing it) and love everything about this movie.

  And while I'm excited that this is going to be released on DVD, I just know that there won't be any special features on it, which bothers me. I have to see some behind the scenes stuff, some outtakes, some DELETED scenes, director commentary throughout the movie, interviews with the actors (then AND a "where are they now?" section), clips from when the movie was released and the impact it had around the world when it opened - you know - STUFF!! But at least it looks like it'll be available in full screen and wide screen, so there won't be that "pan and scan" look from my copy where there's dialogue going on from people off to the side of the screen - perhaps I'll now be able to see all of the action.

  Even though I'm going to, it's hard for me to recommend this movie because of the difficulty I experience when trying to explain the plot of this movie for people. I always run into problems with how Dandi (white guy) and Pandi (black girl) are brother and sister (who did Mr. Boogaloo get busy with?). And I didn't know that the movie was SUPPOSED to be set here in America (all these years, I just assumed it was Germany or somewhere in Europe because nothing in the movie looked like anywhere in the U.S. - especially that subway tram Alfie was riding on after that recording session). But I will say that the world in this movie has the best race-relations I've ever seen - race is not even an issue with anything. As convoluted and ridiculous as this movie is, there's a great lesson we all could take from it; especially in the world today.

  Anyway, I love this movie and can't wait for its release date. And if you haven't seen this movie and you're looking for pure escapism, fantasy and campiness, as well as a happy (if not puzzling) ending, put logic and reason aside, keep an open mind and you will enjoy this. Just watch out for "the red tape."
  
  

• Hey, hey, hey! BIM's the only way!
  By A2LQM2NHYIYXXC on 2005-07-13
  In the short span of 6 months, I have become completely obsessed with The Apple. It's so bad, it's genious! I LOVE almost every song, so much so that I got a copy of the soundtrack off eBay and also downloaded the tracks onto a cd. I have even gotten others into this movie, including one of my co-workers, who is now working on an offical Apple fansite! I cant'explain my obsession with this fascinatingly awful movie. It's THE most entertaining movie I have ever seen! The songs, the acting, the costumes, the finale! Wow! What were they on? I only hope that they screen this movie here in Ottawa again someday. I would love to see it on the big screen! This is truly THE cult movie to end all cult movies!!!
  
  
• The "CrAPPLE" at last
  By A2POKU1R7B0SSR on 2004-08-25
  This is the Holy of Holies of BAD CINEMA, the pristine junk that Ed Wood would have produced if someone had given him a blank check to make a musical. Since Ed never made it to the musical scene, we have to settle for the contributions of two of Ed's equals in tacky tastelessness, yes the Cannon Boyz themselves, Menahem Golan and Youram Globus.
  
  This cinematic canker sore MUST be "scene" to be believed. Especially the parts where Vladek Sheybal, (yes, Col Kronsteen and Dr Jackson from UFO) sings. Well, I guess Telly Savalas was too busy doing Vegas gigs to appear in this hyperventilated hokeyfest. Let's just say that Alice Cooper has nothing to fear from this guy.
  
  As for the "ending". it is a pastiche of Grand gruyere as the incredible Mr. Topps, played by Joss Ackland, all of a sudden appears in a suit that makes him look like a pimp on Sesame Street, complete with a funky cheesy negative of an AMC Ambassador that all of a sudden has thousands of hippies walking into it for their ride to meet Mr. Xenu.
  
  Truly the Holy of Holies of BAD CINEMA. It MUST be "Scene" to be believed!
  
  
• Taste It, Taste It, Taste It!
  By A2C2AYZLW37V5 on 2004-07-17
  Very few movies can be so bad that they become good, The Apple is one of them. Pointless plot, terrible music, bad acting, costumes that even Elton John wouldn't wear and an excessive amount of glitter all converge creating a colossal piece of crap. My boyfriend took me to see this on our first date and I realized that I had found my soul mate.

  I would not recommend this to anyone who is not a fan of camp, but for those of you who just love to laugh at terrible film making this is the god (Mr. Tops) awful musical extravaganza you have been waiting for. I have already pre-ordered my copy and I strongly recommend you do the same, since your DVD collection will never truly be completely without it.
  
  

• i was in the movie
  By A3KC4BUPXQH0MD on 2005-03-14
  I have been trying to get hold of a copy for years,I was one of the dancers,and it was a really funny experience to make ,and we all could not stop laughing at the rushes.It was an isreali film crew, british cast and filmed in Berlin, I cannot wait to see it again and do the 'bim'.I always thought it would be a cult movie someday.......
  
  
• Sometimes its soo bad, its sooo good
  By A1KXONFPU2XQ5K on 2005-06-29
  So I did a jig when I saw this movie was available on DVD. This movie is um .... rotten to the core. This movie has been played for the last couple of years in various theaters, and has made it back to cable. Yes, the movie, is horrible, the dialogue is bad, villians sing regge tunes. God comes in a gold Cadillac. Yes, its bad.
  I don't think this movie intended to be horrible, but it is, and there lies the beauty of this film. Who would have ever imagined a musical extolling the wonders of taking speed?? Who would have ever thought as a cheap plot device to paste a sticker on your head?? Who in their right minds would have conceived of a dance/orgy scene, surely the solid gold dancers could have done something else in their spare time.
  Invite your friends, invite people you want to torture, put this movie in!! This movie is a train wreck, you will not be able to take your eyes away. I would love to tell you there are lots of redeeming qualities, but there aren't many. This movie is just plain bad.
  
  
• This is one bad Apple
  By A34YKEQS3HZYHL on 2004-09-01
  I first saw The Apple completely by accident while channel surfing. I think it was on Starz - I stared, completely horrified, absolutely delighted. I have never seen a bad movie more exuberantly made. The songs! The choreography! The dialogue! The acting! The sets! Everything conspire perfectly to make this the most brilliantly bad movie I have ever seen.
  
  
• Take A Bite...You Won't Regret It!
  By AOYRICL2M4XUR on 2005-03-07
  I purchased this DVD without having seen it, nor really knowing what it was about. Night of the Comet (somebody, PLEASE put that out on DVD, too, PLEASE!) is one of my all-time favorite silly movies. The best thing about NOTC is Catherine Mary Stewart who also plays the lead in The Apple. Having seen her sing in Scenes From The Goldmine, I wasn't so surprised that The Apple turned out to be a musical.....what suprises is the genre being blown away. The Apple is a combination of Rocky Horror, Xanadu, Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and several other movies that came after it. Fans of campy movies, campy musicals or just plain bizzare stories should check this out. The highlights are the numbers including The Apple and I'm Coming For You, with the latter looking like something that was too racy for Barbarella. I don't know why it took 25 years for this amazing film to be reissued for home viewing, but snatch it up while it's available!
  
  
• Taste it... don't be afraid!
  By A34GPIKVQ9LLV8 on 2005-11-28
  After first viewing, I HAD to have my own copy. I recently watched the movie on a big screen at a midnight showing in New York, where we all got up and participated in the national BIM hour, and sported BIM marks on our faces! It's great and awful at the same time... but beware of hyping it up to your friends too much before you show it to them. Some of my friends now think I am crazy for liking this movie, but I guess they just don't get art that's so BAD it's GOOD!!!
  -"Heyyyy Topps, what do you think you're doingggg?"
  
  
• So awful, tacky & gawdy that you can't take your eyes off of it.
  By A2YQ5O6XV23543 on 2006-10-17
  The best way I can describe this musical that came out originally in 1980 is Rocky Horror Picture Show meets Xanadu meets Logan's Run with a little dash of the bible thrown in for good measure.
  
  This is one of the craziest movies that I've ever seen. And as a fan of all things cinematically cheesy, that's saying quite a lot. Mere words can't really describe The Apple. Like Showgirls, it is a movie that every mortal on this earth should be forced to watch at least once.
  
  the movie is set in the far flung future of 1994(!) and finds an evil and scheming music executive Mr. Boogalow trying to take of the world with the power of crass and poorly written pop music. His business is called Boogalow International Music or B.I.M. for short. Mr. Boogalow is supposed to be the devil. He finds an aspiring folk singer/songwriter duo who represent Adam & Eve. They are offered an oppurtuniaty to sign a contract with B.I.M. though Bibi (the female) is for doing that but her male companion in the folk duo Alphi is against it. She signs and he doesn't. Next thing she's working for B.I.M. while Alphi is floudering trying to get his folk/hippie music across to a nation that has been brainwashed by B.I.M. I should also mention that Mr. Boogalow has a son named Dandi who sometimes likes to run around in a tack gold thong.
  
  That's about the best I can do with a plot synopsis.
  
  I swear that practically every man in this movie comes across as either gay or homoerotic to the extreme. All of the women act like they were acting in smut films on the side.
  
  The outfits are gawdy.
  
  The musical numbers are very frequent. In fact, I would say that out of the movie's short 86 minute running time, that over half of it is taken up with musical numbers. My favorites are the brief excursion into hell in which Bibi is being tempted with a massive Apple. This is along with the musical number in which the entire world stops whatever they're doing for an hour to dance to B.I.M. (you have to see it to understand what I'm talking about.)
  
  Anyone who loves cheesey/so-bad-it's-good cinema would do wise to check out The Apple.
  
  BTW, my 5 star rating is purely on a cheese scale.
  
  
• Best worst movie ever!
  By A37EY9MEBH6J7B on 2004-05-08
  The is the most aweful movie ever, but I love it. It is a must see. It is so rediculously stupid that its enjoyable. The songs are also quite stupid too, but they eventually catch on and you will start singing along with them because the people who sing are not bad singers, well, just listen to the lyrics and you will find out. I recommend you buy this and watch it with a buntch of friends. It is awesome even though the plot quite stupid and the acting is very bad with some things that are just wierd. It like the Rocky Horror Picture Show gone bad and in the future of 1994 from a 1980's perspective. Don't miss out on seeing this movie!!!!!
  
  
• The Apple? On Widescreen? OMG!
  By A1R50D7NF43EXF on 2004-06-04
  I've been waiting for this release for nearly 15 years. The music is terrible, the acting is ridiculous, the premise is nearly exactly what the major music labels already do to the music fans who buy their wares (hello "American Idol") and it makes "Can't Stop the Music" (aka the Village people movie) look like highbrow art.
  So in other words... You can't lose if you see this film.
  
  
• The future of music, ala CANNON FILMS/MENEHAM GOLAN!
  By A3HH0K0ISORKGN on 2004-09-04
  FINALLY! Relesed on DVD. Someone at MGM finally woke up, smelled the coffee and saw that the lineups of 300+ people for this film at the Egyptian Theatre might meen that people were now ready to "take a bite" of THE APPLE.

  Sometimes describing this film to people, they think you're might be daydreaming, and in a time where pre-fab karaoke is being rammed down our throats (Ala the "American Idol" franchise), "The Apple" seems moreso apparent with an odd reflection of the music industry. As a Canadian, I liked how Alfie and Bibi were from Moosejaw, Saskatchewan!

  The songs are cornbally, George Clinton might have done them for blow, but trust me folks, you'd rather hear these tracks than "Clay Aiken sings the Caligula Soundtrack" or "Billy Clippert sings Cole Porter".

  See it!
  
  

• The Apple is God; God is the Apple
  By A1MR2LYVKJ8P8G on 2005-02-04
  It's not a movie, but a living, breathing, stinking, glitter-covered organism. You think you know beauty? Ha.
  
  
• "...meet an actual, actual, actual vampire! "
  By AJIH1NJ9N28D9 on 2006-04-30
  THE APPLE aye? Well I can say without a doubt this is the strangest film I've seen in awhile and I've seen FORBIDDEN ZONE, XANADU and THE PIRATE MOVIE all within the last two weeks.
  
  Sometime in the future, 1994 to be exact, the world is controlled by an evil music agent, Mr. Boogalow, who somehow has Big Brother-like control over the police and society in general. Everyday at a designated time everyone, and I mean everyone, must dance for 60 minutes to his BIM music. Also all people must wear a reflective triangle sticker on their face.
  
  Folksy singers Bibi & Alphie don't belong in the BIM-tastic world so Boogalow buys off Bibi and turns her into a BIM superstar. Alphie rejects Boogalow's offer and fights to free Bibi and get her to join a hippy cult with him. She does and just when Boogalow and the evil police are taking them away God, I mean, Mr. Topps rides out of the clouds in his flying Rolls Royce and whisks them away to Heaven.
  
  The one thing I forgot to mention is about every 5 minutes there's a massive overcrowded musical number that makes you cry out "What the Hell is going on!? My brain hurts!" Needless to say I quite enjoyed this movie. It's gonna be a few years before I could sit through it again though.
  
  The DVD has a good picture and sound, but where are the extras? A trailer? That's it? What makes it even more insulting is the trailer had multiple scenes that weren't in the movie.
  
  Catherine Mary Stewart later played Alex Rogan's girlfriend in THE LAST STARFIGHTER. And writer/director/producer Menaham Golan later went on to work on OVER THE TOP, THE DELTA FORCE, AMERICAN NINJA, MISSING IN ACTION, INVASION U.S.A. and tons of movies that molded my young mind.
  
  
• THIS APPLE ISNT ROTTEN
  By A258MX36786JZN on 2004-09-17
  Ok, if youre looking for intellectual brain stimulating cinema, this ain't it, but if youre looking for an escape full of camp, you might want to check out this movie. Granted it is dated (1980), but it is visually stimulating fun. This flick has everything from a scene in Hell to an orgy room scene to a sort of modern day rapture of a Hippy commune. Where else ya gonna find a movie with all this?? You can also think of it as the love child of Rocky Horror and Xanadu (both of which are favorite movies of mine). No, there were no Oscars for the acting, directing or the score, but then again, is that really what youre seeking?
  
  Go ahead, take a bite.....
  
  
  
• Not golden or delicious
  By A1MH5R1PY6B3RN on 2007-03-22
  I brought this film because it's projected as a silent backdrop at a club I go to and it looks completely surreal. However, after getting it home I realised why I had never heard of it before. It is absolutely dire. Terrible plot, acting and songs. Not even campily funny in manner of Showgirls or Rocky Horror. Just awful.
  
  
• If You Crossed "Can't Stop The Music" And "1984"...
  By A2NOZB6VZCTOI4 on 2008-08-04
  This film, released in 1980 and prognosticating all the way to 1994 is a Golan-Globus production, and is essentially a reworking of the Faust legend. (After viewing it I have to wonder if Menahem Golan made a horrible pact with the devil.) I have seen an enormous number of terrible movies in my life, but this is right at the top of the heap for unadulterated camp. I will note now that the four star rating is obviously due to the "so bad it's good quality" of the film rather than any intrinsic redeeming qualities the film actually has.
  
  The film opens at a wretched music contest where the awful band promoted by "Mr. Boogalow" (Vladek Sheybal) is neck in neck with a small-time duo from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, the cloying Bibi and Alphie. Boogalow resorts to devious means to win, but feels threatened enough to attempt to sign them to contracts. Boogalow give them little time to read the contracts and since they don't have legal representation, Alphie refuses to sign, while Bibi signs her soul away. If all this symbolism wasn't clear enough, there is a musical field trip to the lake of fire proving Boogalow's real identity; as a further confirmation Bibi is presented with an apple (not golden or delicious) that she is pressured into biting.
  
  After the premise that music agents are analogous to the devil (not far from the truth in some instances) is firmly established, we learn that in the future cars feature completely ridiculous profiles, that triangles are the only shape sanctioned by B.I.M. (Boogalow's agency), and that B.I.M. and the government are essentially one organization. I was especially amused by the concept of the "National Fitness Program" (a government program sponsored by our favorite Faustian NGO, B.I.M.), though less amused by the dancing involved. On the other end of the spectrum, I was completely unamused by Vladek Sheybal's singing voice when he solos in "The Master," perhaps the worst vocal performance since the day of Florence Foster Jenkins.
  
  Bibi gets a makeover and becomes wildly successful, while Alphie continues to write horrid folk songs and live in a dump. Eventually Alphie decides living in a cave under a bridge is better than his apartment, so he moves in with a commune of hippies with names like "Lotus Blossom." Bibi escapes the clutches of Boogalow and company and joins Alphie, only to have the entire commune arrested for harboring a fugitive. Yes, Bibi is wanted for breach of contract and Boogalow and his team of lawyers and police show up for a final confrontation of Lawyers versus Hippies. This posed a conundrum: which group is less appealing? No, I jest: the movie makes it clear that it is a battle of good and evil on a titanic scale. When our heroes have seemingly no options left, the film takes a spiritual turn and presents some theology decidedly not found in the Bible. The alleged deity, "Mr. Topps," shows up in a golden Rolls-Royce in the sky, turns the hippies to angels, and utterly defeats Boogalow in a scene that must be seen to be believed. I am sure this must have had something to do with the fact that the film was way over budget due to the cost of the insane costumes and musical numbers; well, that and the production team had absolutely no idea how to wrap up this mess.
  
  The film is low on dialogue, but high on musical numbers. It's kind of like a steam roller: once you are relieved that a musical number is over (and you will be), another one starts. The costumes and makeup are delightfully kitsch (I especially like the silver lipstick and the triangular face stickers) and leave no doubt as to when this was made. This film is truly jaw-dropping. I am not especially fond of musicals, but love cheesy movies of all varieties. This is an especially runny, excrementally smelly Camembert, putting it near the top of the bad movie menu of fine cheeses.
  
  "The Apple" is highly recommended for anyone who believes they have seen a film so bad that there is not one worse.
  
  Come on...take the dare...bite "The Apple."
  
  
• The worst piece of work I ever loved.
  By A14SLMRDQSR0MA on 2004-10-10
  I thought I would continue going through life singing "Alfie where are you now, Will I ever see your face again?" Thank you for the release of this lack luster film. I think everyone should take the pill, it won't harm you, it won't make you laugh, cry, or scream in anger either. It is blah blah to the extreme. If you loved the Biz Marke song. You got what I need! You need this.
  
  
• Biblical, and yet so sinful
  By A2H0Q6AGS7X55I on 2005-04-24
  This is another one of those movies you never saw the end of, and you're left wondering how it turned out? This one was just the fact that we had pay TV, and it's 11:00 at night, so the parents want the cable disconnected from the bedroom(Boo-Hiss). This movie is set in 1998, and NYC is under the grips of a movement called "The Apple". The Apple has NYC in it's clutches, and everyday certain songs are played, and everyone is to participate in the dance. Well one day a singing couple named Adam and Eve start playing thier brand of music. Folk romantic type music that is pure, and of heart. Unfortunately for The Apple the music is catching on, so a plan is devised to turn them over to thier side. Adam and Eve are invited to a party in which the hope will be that they can be persuaded to play Apple music instead of thier mush. Eve becomes converted to the Apple, but Adam stands his ground. He leaves Eve with the Apple in the hopes that she'll come home. That's where I left off. It's kind of what would've happened had the real Adam not taken the fruit from the real Eve. That in Genesis Adam turned Eve over to God, and told God that she tried to make him sin instead of what really happened. It's a cheap movie, but it's pretty good.
  
  
• Weird, but kind of fun
  By A2FS6OGMZMALTD on 2006-05-02
  There is no real way to describe this film except to say that it is goofy and enjoyable. While not a classic (I doubt I could watch it many times) it is worth seeing once or twice. The "future" of 1994 is just funny. It's worth it to see all the weird clothes and makeup. The acting is, at times, a little over the top, but that's intentional.
  
  The musical numbers are varied and many. While clearly a lot of effort was put into them, they are not particularly memorable. The same could be said for the songs, which left barely an impression at all once the movie was over. But while they're going on, you can enjoy them.
  
  Worth a watch if you're interested in some eighties strangeness, but otherwise, I'll stick with Xanadu.
  
  
• Humor. satire, song & dance, in a rock opera format.
  By A2HR8SIFCIXYQL on 2006-08-22
  I've liked this clever film enormously since it first came out in 1980. I've also read all the bad reviews which said it's awful, a bomb, "so bad it's good"! Just another indication that Americans have lost their sense of humor, and are too dimwitted to understand satire anymore. OF COURSE the "acting is bad"- it's because this is a parody in rock opera form; NO ONE in the film is taking this seriously; albeit, there is a quasi-serious message, which you may or may not agree with, but it's there nonetheless: Big powerful evil guys, in the form of giant coporations, great wealth, power & fame, can seduce you and win for awhile, but goodness, virture, and simplicity will win in the end. Your basic "the meek shall inherit the Earth philosophy"! Agree, don't agree, it's there anyway, and yet given in a casual, non-serious, playful, song & dance way. It is all very cute, put together intelligently, with double entendres and symbolism everywhere that the producers literally beat you over the head with, with tongue in cheek! But SO-O-O many people that have seen this movie have dismissed it too quickly and simply not gotten its cleverness, which is a shame. I love the music, the voices are excellent, especially George Gilmour, who wrote many of the songs, and Pandi and Dandi (beautiful Grace Kennedy and Alan Love) are good traditional rock and rollers, owned by the evil, totalitarian, monster corporation which seeks to take over everything - like the old Soviet Union. The parallels are there, and this was 1980, before the "evil empire" fell, so the message of this move was right on point for the time, and continues to last to today, with others who wish to take away our freedoms and give us a totalitarian form of life - which THE APPLE resoundingly rejects, in humourous, musical, satiric form. There are so many small parodies in the movie that I can't list them, and you see new ones every time you watch it. This is also a story about love, which, as in every good romanctic story, shows that love conquers all. It many be corny, and the message hokey, and the acting tongue in cheek, but it is an excellent movie on many levels that most people have not fully appreciated. It's meant for you to laugh with it, and occasionally at it, to appreciate the music and sexy dance numbers, which also contribute to the sexy, materialistic, totalitarian message! It's all there, in a very pleasant format, with performances credibly given considering what they were trying to do - all humor and parodies are difficult to pull off, and they did in this one that all too few people GOT. Vladek Sheybal is absolutely amazing in his tongue-in-cheek portryal of the devil who uses music and a large music corporation to take over everything and everyone, even taking over lovely, innocent Bibi (as the devil did to EVE in the garden of Eden, getting her to bite off a chunk of a similar apple then). But unlike Adam, Alfi never folds, and sticks to his good-guy guns throughout the story, from square one, and is the one person, with virtue, unending love, and a lot of romantic music in his pocket, winning the day, converting Bibi back, and forcing a mythilogical, fantasied "second coming" ("Mr. Tops") which takes all the good people away to some utopia. As I said, the story may be hokey, but no more so than those in the Bible. You may not agree with it, but it gives you a good ride, playfully and musically, with some great tongue-in-cheek satiric bits. Those of you who liked it - now you know why.
  
  
• "Coming for YOU!!"
  By AU9REGJJHCT2G on 2007-03-25
  One of the all time best/worst films EVER!! "The Apple" is a camp lovers delight and truly gets better with each viewing. It's got it all: garish costumes, astounding sets, outrageous acting, surreal production numbers, compelling song lyrics!! "See an actual vampire"? I'd LOVE to!! The perfect evening of film screening? A triple feature starting with "Can't Stop the Music" followed by "Xanadu" and concluding with "The Apple." If you're not psychotic after being pummelled by these class-sicks, you've truly never lived!! Highly recommended!
  
  
• Oh, my gosh ... I was just crazy about this movie
  By ABGEEXAMTZ1GB on 2004-09-19
  Wow, I saw this too on The Movie Channel (in Calgary, a bounced signal off the mountains, from some isolated town that broadcast it to its residence, was received on our old style antenna on the roof, but only IF we left the aluminum garage door open). Wierdest story you want hear, and how I was able to find this signal.

  Anyway, THE APPLE .. true about it having some large problems in tackiness and some bad acting in a couple spots (which is forgivable except the line or two given was SO bad). Besides that I just loved 80% of the music; I was in love with Catherine Mary Stewart (a Canadian from Edmonton). The cast was actually excellent and they were good. I was crazy about the storyline and message (hope) etc. and the supremacy of good. But then again, maybe I'm a bit of a refuge from the 60s as the movie says (or a wanna be).

  HEY FELLOW WITH THE MP3 .. I looked and looked and looked for the soundtrack. Give me your email so we can connect. Oh and widescreen, hurray; no more long scenes with a -talking lamp- with no people.

  There are a ton of talented young people in this. One of the dancers was from General Hospital at the time (Anna from GH; I'm talking 1987, she also had a short lived series with the fellow from Soap). Anyway you see these people all over the place. And the people who played Andy and Pandy ... if that was their voices, wow!

  Some REALLY, really good songs, and a couple really poorly done, I suspect poorly recorded mostly. The company I believed turned into Cannon Pictures.

  You have to be in a certain mindset to catch onto this movie, but it has lots of amazing things.

  Anyway, it has been a movie that I have constantly comeback to thinking about, and you cannot say that about many movies. I recommend it.
  
  

• Roller Boogie
• Phantom of the Paradise
• Village People - Can't Stop the Music
• Xanadu - Magical Musical Edition (With Complete Soundtrack CD)
• Night of the Comet