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Breast Cancer Husband : How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) during Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyondx$4.89
 (24 reviews)
Best Price: $4.89
A unique guide, like none other on the market-packed with medical information, practical tips, psychological insight, and coping strategies-to help men help the women they love through this trying time.
When Marc Silver became a breast cancer husband three years ago, he learned firsthand how frightened and helpless the breast cancer husband feels. He searched in vain for a book that would give him the information and advice he so desperately sought. Now this award-winning journalist has compiled just the kind of emotionally supportive and useful resource that he wished he had been able to consult-to give men the tools they need to help their wives, their families, and themselves through this scary, uncertain time.
In his years as a consumer journalist and veteran of the News You Can Use staff at U.S. News & World Report, Marc Silver learned what kind of information and advice on medical crises readers found most valuable. He draws on that experience as he covers in depth all the issues couples coping with breast cancer will have to face during diagnosis, treatment, and beyond. Highlights include:
- The shared experiences of other breast cancer husbands
- Guidance from top cancer doctors in the country
- Advice on when, how, and what to tell your young children
- Tips on coping with radiation and chemotherapy
- A candid discussion of sex and intimacy following breast cancer surgery
More than 200,000 women are diagnosed with cancer each year in the United States. At last, with this book, the men who love them have a road map to help them through a difficult and unprecedented journey.
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Customer Reviews
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Absolutely Essential!
By A2JRNKO6Z2UYGP on 2004-09-30
If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are a new (and doubtless unwilling) member of the not-so-elite group of men who have become Breast Cancer Husbands. If so, stop reading this and buy this book. (Full disclosure: I was contacted by Marc Silver, the author, last year and interviewed extensively about my own experiences; I am quoted several times in the book.) I only wish that this book existed two years ago when my wife of 23 years was disgnosed with breast cancer; it is an invaluable resource that informs men in an accurate, succinct fashion exactly what is likely to happen at each stage of the diagnosis and treatment process. But Mr. Silver's arroach to the topic is hardly clinical. He deals with some of the most heart-wrenching topics any man will ever have to face with an eye on reality and a deft touch of humor. Breast cancer and humor in the same sentence? You've got to be kidding, right? Well, he pulls it off, managing to inject a lighter touch without ever minimizing the seriousness of his topic. Personally, I think most people use humor anyway to deal with the toughest situations, and the big "C" was no exception for my wife and I. Whether you are starting this journey, or if you've been through it like Marc and I have, this book is bound to become your most valuable resource, because it is told from the mouths of real Breast Cancer Husbands with real, true-life stories. With literally hundreds of books available for women who are dealing with this horrible disease, a book like this directed at the men simply did not exist. It was long overdue.
There's a reason it's popular 
By A3TM6E5NO9I0JF on 2004-12-30
I'll chime in from the daughter's point of view: I got this book for my stepfather after reading the reviews, and it did not disappoint. It speaks directly to men and concerns they might not want to talk about (no beating around the bush) but the tone isn't annoying or Neanderthal. After reading it one thinks much of it is common sense-- but sometimes one needs to be reminded of what's common sense! (And maybe what seems like common sense to a 30-something woman may not be the first thing that comes to mind for the average 50 to 80-year-old guy under stress.) Anyway, my stepfather finished it in three days, so that's a good sign. It opened my eyes to some things too.
One tip: Cure rates are very high for early-stage breast cancer these days. Guys, skip the later chapters about "dealing with loss" unless you get to that point. Most women will recover, so no need to freak oneself out at the beginning. As we say in my family, "We'll fall off that bridge when we come to it."
Also recommended for women or for very involved family members: "Just Get Me Through This" (lots of helpful tips) and the two books by John Link (lots of technical info).
Helping my husband IS helping me too!
By AEN87RTLRAN48 on 2004-12-24
This book is wonderful! I bought it for my husband after we recently learned that I have breast cancer for a second time and we are both reading it. It is packed with information but somehow reads like a good novel. I already can tell my husband is being more sensitive to my needs because of Marc's advice. So many things Marc Silver has written that I am so glad my husband will be reading. They are things I want him to know!
Every woman diagnosed should give this book to her husband.
By ACOLAK5WJSMJI on 2004-10-27
Not only informative but even if your husband never reads it, it will open you up to ask for what you need during this stressful time. I wish I had this book at the beginning of my journey through breast cancer.
A must-have, must-read book for breast cancer husbands
By A2QE4ZADAOF4YY on 2005-08-30
My only regret about this book is that I didn't get it sooner. I found this book while my wife was already half-way through treatment, at a breast cancer symposium. (As an aside, very few husbands attended the symposium other than me, a real shame; I felt deep anguish for the many women clearly going through treatment who were there alone and unsupported.) My wife is young, and her diagnosis really hit us from nowhere. I'm someone who is an eternal optimist, and the succession of worsening news about her condition nearly brought me to my knees. When I found this book I believe I was quietly depressed. It was so important to me not to "steal the spotlight" of attention from my wife that I intentionally avoided dealing with my own fears, trauma, and anger. I started reading the book on a long plane ride back home from a business trip, and as I read it I literally felt weight lifted off my shoulders. I cried, and I laughed, and mostly I felt tremendous relief. I have had the opportunity to meet the author at a speaking engagement, and I spoke up and told him that at a moment in my life where I felt all alone and very scared, he was my best friend. If you are a breast cancer husband, you simply must read this book.
- Helpful for survivors, but not everyone survives.
By A1I7LWZ0BE1L7B on 2006-09-03
Silver's book is a helpful journalistic guidebook for spouses and partners of breast cancer victims; Part I is made up of 8 chapters and Part 2, 13 chapters. In the forward, Dr. Frederick P. Smith writes, "the support of a spouse can make a significant difference to the patient."
There is one chapter for those of us whose partners didn't make it: "Facing Death", but since I cannot bring back my wife I do "breast cancer work."
I use breast cancer stamps on my letters. I support breast cancer fundraisers. I advise my women friends to do self-exams and get mammograms. I mention to my students that they need to pay attention to their health. I make the point that early detection is crucial.
What does any of this accomplish? It's hard to tell.
I cannot go back to that initial incorrect diagnosis and tell the doctor "That might be cancer. We need detailed tests right away." At the time I should have been more suspicious, but we seemed young and healthy with two young sons.
Reading Silver's book will not prevent what happened to my family, but it certainly contains some useful advice for the spouses of survivors.
- Not Just for Husbands
By AXGR2SI2DXGTA on 2005-08-17
Despite its title, "Breast Cancer Husband" is really a book that I'd highly recommend not only to husbands but to siblings, children, parents, friends--in short, to anyone who cares about a woman with breast cancer--as well to the woman herself. The book has much to recommend it: thorough research, jargon-free prose, experts' opinions, survivors' stories, common-sense advice, humaneness and sensitivity, and (this came as a surprise) moments of true hilarity. After you've read it and absorbed its lessons (sample: Shut up and listen), you may be tempted to say, "I knew that!" Guess what? You didn't.
- "Must read"
By A1QYB9MHVHQ1RI on 2005-08-25
As a health professional and prostate cancer survivor, I felt I could handle all aspects of cancer, but when my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was devastated. I discovered that when a loved one is diagnosed, it's different! Within days of our news, our daughter-in-law sent me Marc Silver's book. I read every word in a very short time, and the difference in my attitude and acceptance of her cancer was dramatic.
Marc explains every aspect from diagnosis through treatment, and suggests many different ways to deal with each situation. He accomplishes this with both seriousness and a touch of humor.
This book was the most helpful resource I had as we traveled through this ordeal. In short, this is a "must read" for men dealing with their wives' breast cancer.
- Learning What to Expect
By AZZ23BV1Y372Q on 2005-08-16
First, a disclaimer. The author and I know each other. Both of our wives were diagnosed with breast cancer in about the same time frame. We were intereviewed for the book. By the time the book came out, my wife had "finsihed" her course of treatment so much of what is in the book I had to learn on my own.
The day after we got the diagnosis, I found myself standing in front of the "disease" section at one of the local book store chains. I didn't know exactly what I was looking for at first. My original purchase of about a half dozen books were either very focused on the medical aspects of the disease or on women's experiences as survivors. While one or two of these books had parts of chapters for husbands, partners or significant others, none gave much information on what to expect and how to help. Ultimately, I sought out a therapist who specialized in helping those who deal with medical crises.
That helped a great deal, but Marc's book offers so much more. He is recounts the experiences of couples from almost every part of society, shares insights from medical experts and relates his own personal experiences. While no substitute for working with a qualified and caring therapist, his book is one of the only resources out there for husbands. Had it been available three years ago, I suspect I could have avoided some of the mistakes I made along the way.
While it is true that the learning curve is pretty steep, the first few weeks are crucial. No husband should leave the first appointment with the surgeon or oncologist without a copy of this book.
- A man's must have.....
By A3DH2M3X8GOAXL on 2006-07-08
Great book. Very helpful for this husband of a breast cancer patient. I agree with the other reviewer in that you might want to skip the sections on metastasis and recurrence unless you really need to read them. I think so highly of this book that I donated two copies to a local cancer center's library. God Bless you all in your time of difficulty.
- Essential if you have breast cancer
By ATXPNXZMK1POR on 2006-11-30
Poeple who've had a breast scare (or the full thing) will find this book invaluable. Even if it turns out you don't need treatment, you still need support, and that's what this book explains. Really good.
- Breast Cancer Husband review
By A30PV4Y3N2TP85 on 2007-09-17
A must read for anyone close to the "survivor". Everything so far has been "right on". Sure helps reduce the "unknown" fears. Husband has read; sister has read; and brother-in-law (me) has read and gained from the knowledge and experience conveyed by the author who we wish to thank.
- Breast Cancer Husband's...Get This Book!
By A2F1KDU35R03BM on 2007-05-07
You'll need this advice one way or another. There are some topics you may not want to deal with, but trust me, you WILL deal with them. Your wife's cancer diagnosis doesn't come with a manual...this book is a great start. (Even though you wish you weren't reading it...once the dust settles...you'll be thankful for it.)
- Husbands and Wives
By A1HFQET38RX94D on 2005-10-03
This isn't just for husbands. Wives should read it to get a husbands perspective. But it did help me relate more to what my husband is going through and how men deal. I started reading it half way through my chemo so I read a lot of what we experienced and some of the ways he responded to certain situations. It was also great to read the personal experiences of different couples who have gone through or are going through breast cancer.
- Breast Cancer Husband
By A384DLXD0474VH on 2007-09-26
This book is loaded with practical advice if your wife or loved one is diagnosed with breast cancer. While containing medical information on breast cancer and treatments, it goes beyond that to provide a number of useful suggestions for helping her through a very difficult period. Furthermore, it provides a number of useful suggestions for helping YOURSELF as the supporting partner on this journey.
I found it very useful and recommend it without reservation.
Breast Cancer Husband : How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) during Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond
- For Anyone Supporting A Loved One
By A1GT48J13FCR5A on 2007-11-19
This is a wonderful book for anyone supporting a loved one through breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. It is written in a very engaging style(the author is a journalist), making it very easy to read while still conveying important information. The book offers numerous tips on coping, both from the author's own experience and from other husbands. My only complaint is that the title is too limiting. This is a valuable resource for family members, friends, significant others, etc.
- Breast Cancer Husband
By A107AAHD8VJVUX on 2007-12-17
A book written for husbands to help their wife and her family get through this tough time in each individual's life. The book discusses in detail of how to react to the news, to how to help your wife cope with hair loss. An informative book to help both parties get through such a horrible time as best as they can.
- Extremely helpful
By AVLHEQTGITTQ4 on 2008-01-15
This was the most helpful book I read after my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Everyone is different and reacts differently to treatment. Instead of this book saying "here is how I survived" it covers how quite a few different people dealt with important issues. The book helped me anticipate some of the problems we might have during chemo and radiation. And more importantly, it gave me a lot of ideas to try and many of them worked for us. My wife just had her 2 year checkup and scan and is cancer free. Keep a positive attitude - you can get through this and this book can help.
- Great resource!
By A2U0LR2WYI7OTC on 2008-03-05
This book is well-written, thoroughly researched, and a much-needed addition to the cancer information/support literature. It's informative for both male and female readers (to know what's written & how your individual situation might differ from what's suggested). I found this book to be very approachable in its style and format, and full of useful suggestions and tips. All in all, a good investment.
- book review for husbands
By AYMVVHVXXBKP1 on 2008-04-29
This is an interesting and informative book for husbands whose wives have been diagnosed with cancer. A lot of the book is common sense but it has informative passages that help with the awkward social situations that come up in conversations and with friends. It helps take some of the stigma sting out of answering stupid questions that people ask. I liked this book a lot and recommend it for reading.
I think it is a bit overly long but a good weekend with a 6 pk. of cold Bud Lite will easily get you through the entire book.
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