The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition) Reviews

• Good for some things.....

  
  By on 2003-07-12
  As an involved father, I thought that it would be good idea for me to read the same references that my wife did. I was disappointed after reading Dr. Sears' book. According to this book, my role in the care and rearing of my child is relegated to being secondary to that of my wife's, "Father creates a supportive environment that allows mother to devote her energy to the baby (pg.8)". The role that I am to play in my baby's care is defined in pages 8, 43, 272, and 350 (paperback edition) out of a book that has 689 pages.

  To his credit, Dr. Sears does provide some good practical advice on some childrearing issues, which is why I would give it 2 stars. However, I find the overall tone of this to be extremely patronizing and to be totally dismissive of the fact that fathers are sometimes the primary caregivers to children. This book has a very strong bias towards the traditional mom-stays-at-home-and-father-goes-to-work household. If some families decide to follow this template, by no means would I criticize them for following what they believe to be the best for their children and families. I do not have a bias against this.

  However, what I am also rather upset about (in addition to my relegation to a secondary role in my child's upbringing) is Dr. Sears' subtle and backhanded criticism of as well as lack of support for families that do not follow the traditional route. Given his pediatric practice, the number of books that he has written, the boards that he is on, it is obvious that Dr. Sears himself has devoted very little time personally to the raising of his children and instead, has given the majority of the child-rearing duties to his wife. Despite being an RN, I cannot believe that Mrs. Sears worked much professionally, given that she is the primary caregiver for 8 children.

  Being a physician myself, I know that there is no way that Dr. Sears can accomplish all of his professional duties and discharge all of his responsibilities and still have a great deal of time for directly caring for his children. Personally, I chose to take a position where I could cut back on the number of days that I work so that I could take care of my daughter while my wife can pursue her career as well as be a good mother. This arrangement has worked well for all of us. But had I not reassured my wife that it would work out, she would have had a huge amount of unneccessary guilt engendered by this book with its biases and hidden agenda. I feel sorry for mothers and families that read this book, didn't have the options that we had, and felt incredible guilt that they were somehow shortchanging their children. Perhaps Dr. Sears' family does not need two incomes, but I know many families do (an idea he pooh-poohs on page 374)and they make hard choices. The last thing that these families need is an authority figure that either openly and subtly disapproves of their choices.
  
  

• Mixed Review

  
  By on 1997-07-08
  Dr. Sears' book contains valuable discussions of contemporary parenting issues that cannot be found in other standard parenting books, including a comprehensive discussion of breastfeeding techinques and chapters on "baby-wearing" (using a sling) and on "nighttime parenting," including sharing a bed with your baby. As first time parents interested in these subjects, we found the book very useful.
  
  Unfortunately, the book is marred by three serious flaws. First, Dr. Sears -- although including frequent mention of the role of fathers (which many books do not) -- appears to believe in the "natural" primacy of the mother-baby relationship. Our baby's father felt quite slighted by many of Dr. Sears' comments in this regard. Further, Dr. Sears' views simply do not reflect reality in many modern households. In a similar vein, Dr. Sears' book contains a strong subtext that it would be better for the child if its mother did not work outside of the home. Second, Dr. Sears is rather cavalier in his use of medical studies. When they support his theories, he refers to them extensively without mentioning contrary studies and results, no matter how well-accepted. When study results do not support Dr. Sears' views, he tosses them aside by suggesting that one can find a study to support any theory. Third, Dr. Sears' tone is so didactic that the parent who chooses not to follow his advice runs the risk of feeling guilty.
  
  In short, the book contains valuable advice that cannot be easily found elsewhere, but the first-time parent would be wise to take Dr. Sears with a grain of salt!
  
  

• A Classic. Independent Free-Thinking Mind Required.

  
  By A2VIE4HE2D9W0T on 2002-06-25
  There is not much that one can say that hasn't already been said. This book has stood the test of time; other know-it-all one-size-fits-all infant care books have not.

  One observation that I have made is that you will not find this book promoted by popular baby stores such as "Babies R Us". Having visited many branches of such stores, I have never seen this book promoted in the book section. It dawned on me why. Dr. Sears' approach is decisively anti-consumerist. He strongly recommends breast feeding - nothing to buy here. He strongly recommends co-sleeping - no crib or sheets to buy. He recommends the use of a baby sling or baby carrier - OK, you can find such items at "Babies R Us", but this is meant as a replacement for a much more expensive stroller.

  Bottom line: following the recommendations in this book means going against the grain set by product-dispensing corporations that are the center of a society centered around consumption. Read this book and think long and hard about what you believe and what you value in the role of a parent, and tune out all the noise around you including well-meaning family members.
  
  

• What a relief!

  
  By on 2000-10-21
  To read a book that reinforces my instincts! I am only sorry I did not buy this book in the first few weeks of motherhood. I read books that gave all kinds of advice that just didn't seem right. I have never let my baby "cry it out" even though parents, in-laws, and grandparents have all at some point told me I'm spoiling my child. At five months old, she is happy, well adjusted, and easily falls asleep on her own. Mothers and fathers take note-attachment parenting works!! I can actually sense how much trust my baby has in me. This book will be especially helpful to parents of colicky babies. It replaces the feelings of frustration and helplessness with compassion and understanding. I read a few negative reviews from those who found the Dr. Sears to be extreme. Attachment parenting can be incorporated into every lifestyle. I'm a stay at home Mom, but I don't ALWAYS wear my baby in a sling. And though I slept with her for the first few months, she now sleeps in her crib, and takes a morning nap with me. It's just a matter of knowing your baby and following his/her cues rather than following some ridiculous formula that is supposed to work for all babies. Yes, the book almost always puts the baby first. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Every aspect of parenting should be cherished rather than looked upon as an inconvenience. For those who truly want to bond with their babies-this is the book for you! And just a note to new, first time moms: I spent many nights in the first few weeks crying right along with my colicky baby. So many well-meaning moms gave me advice. Because I was new at the whole thing, I always doubted myself. Was I ever going to have a happy baby? Was she ever going to sleep through the night? What was I doing wrong? Well, any mom who has practiced attachment parenting for a few months will tell you this. After a few weeks, when friends and family tell you you're holding the baby too much, you're spoiling the baby too much, you should let the baby "cry it out" instead of feeling unsure, you will laugh to yourself. Because you'll know inside. You'll know that the parents who are not wearing their babies, not holding their babies, not soothing their babies, not cuddling through the night with their babies, are really missing out on moments they'll never have again. That's when you'll know how wonderful attachment parenting is.
  
  

• Vastly overrated

  
  By A136VOMOHNXIM8 on 1999-04-01
  What makes "The Baby Book" different from many other equally comprehensive baby care books is the authors unrelenting advocacy of what they call "attachment parenting". The Sears' claims for "attachment parenting" are hyperbolic and the reader's reaction to many of their assertions may well range from skepticism to alarm. The Sears' identify the 5 AP concepts as 1) connecting with the baby early, 2) reading and responding to your baby's cues, 3) breastfeeding, 4) wearing your baby and 5) sharing sleep with your baby. According to Sears, adherence to these principles will "improve behavior, development and intelligence." New fathers who had hoped to play an active role with the new baby will find that their role is different than they had hoped: According to Sears, "[T]he father's role is to create a supportive environment that allows the mother to devote *her* energy to the baby" and "Father's job is to nurture the mother so that *she* can nurture the baby" (Emphasis added). On a section regarding bottlefeeding a breastfed child, Sear suggests that the mother enlist the help of an experienced bottleffeding grandmother or bottlefeeding friend to give the bottle--the possibility that Dad might want to feed his child is curiously omitted. But perhaps not so curious after all--Dad is given pretty short shrift throughout the book, particularly in the chapter on "Nighttime Parenting". "The Baby Book" is full of paragraphs that begin "Studies show" --unfortunately there are no citations to any of these studies and the lack of citations leaves the reader wondering. For example, at one point he writes of a study that contrasted 2 groups of children, one "securely attached" and one not. The reader might well wonder how "securely attached" was defined and determined. This question crops up throughout the book,particularly when Sears speaks of his own "surveys"-- his biases are so evident thoughout the book that it is hard to much stock in the objectivity of any of his "surveys." The zealousness of the authors in their advocacy of breastfeeding is obvious, however it doesn't excuse their discussion of bottlefeeding. Despite spending 72 pages of the book discussing the benefits of breastfeeding, the Sears cannot resist pening up the (extremely short) bottlefeeding chapter with this comment: "Do infants thrive on formula? Formula fed infants appear to grow normally, but the question is not only do infants grow but do they thrive? Thriving takes growth a step further: growing and developing to an infant's fullest potential. This is an unanswered, perhaps unanswerable question." This is an astonishing statement. Has Sears really never seen an infant who has "thrived" on formula? Amazing if true, since I personally know of quite a few. And the "unanswerable" nature of his rhetorical question is one that can be applied to many of Sears' assertions. One of the most troubling sections in the book concerns mothers with HIV and breastfeeding. This section is buried in the back of the book, instead of included, as one would expect, in the chapters on breastfeeding. Sears acknowledges that HIV can be passed through breastmilk , but then states that there have been cases where babies have not contracted the virus through breastfeeding. Instead of an unequivocal NO to breastfeeding when the mother is infected with HIV, he simply concludes that the mother should discuss it with her doctor. The chapter on "Nighttime Parenting" is predictable. The Sears advocate what they call "shared sleeping." They have little patience with concerns that many parents consider to be significant--inability to sleep with a baby in bed, the affect of co-sleeping on the couple's relationship, etc. As always, a false dichotomy is set up between the responsive "attached" mother and the "detached" mother. The Sears apparently cannot countenance that it is possible for parents to be very attached to their children but to also want them to sleep on their own because they truly believe that it is best for their children. For that matter, the dichotomy of "attached" parent v. "detached" parent is set up, both explicitly and implicity, in just about every discussion of the Sears 5 attachment "concenpts". "The Baby Book" also raises a lot of questions. The Sears claims that when a mother breastfeeds, "wears" (with a sling), and shares sleep with her baby, that the baby will inevitable grow up to be a more empathetic, sensitive and caring adult. If so, then how to explain the genocidal tragedies of recent years in Rwanda, Liberia, Somalia and other countries where the vast majority of babies are bfreastfed, worn and slept with? Shouldn't it be obvious that there are many other factors that are vastly more significant than how a baby is fed and where it sleeps? And aren't there millions of happy, healthy children (and adults) who are very attached to their parents and families, despite not being raised by the Sears AP tenets? Unfortunately, these are questions that the Sears apparently cannot discuss objectively.
  
  
• We're completely "attached" to Attachment Parenting!!
  By on 1999-04-06
  As a 4th-time-around mom, my only regret about buying this book in 1993 was not buying hardcover--our copy is completely dog-eared and falling apart from use! Back then, as first-time parents, my husband and I happened upon the Sears' book and were so relieved to find a parenting guide which combined medical expertise with extensive personal experience and, on top of that, actually reinforced the use of our instincts as parents. It's extremely comprehensive and well-organized. We love the presentation of "the facts" balanced with the narrative/personal examples which Mrs. Sears has contributed. We are often complimented on how out-going, well-adjusted and secure our children appear to be. Time and again, we find ourselves giving a great deal of credit to "The Baby Book" for guiding our parenting choices. Reading the reviews on this book here, I found the majority of readers couldn't say enough wonderful things about it...so many "5 stars"!!! Then there were a few "1 stars." These people seemed very concerned with the supposed "guilt trip" Dr. and Mrs. Sears were unloading on them. I guess I just didn't see it...my husband and I have coined the term "convenience parenting" for those wishing to parent "the easy way" (ie. sleeping through the night at two months after birth, the "cry it out" philosophy and the very notion that a baby can actually be spoiled by too much attention!) Any way you look at it, parenting is NOT an easy venture, but at the same time is so incredibly important...maybe a little bit of well-placed guilt isn't such a bad thing. Granted, everyone's parenting situation is different. Because of this, there will never be a perfect parenting book...glean what you can from this one. So you can't do 24/7 "baby wearing" because you both work--have your child-care provider read that chapter!!...etc., etc. Take what the book says with a grain of salt and tailor it to your needs. At any rate, both my husband and I have gained a great deal from "The Baby Book." As a physician, he readily recommends it to his new-parent patients. And I buy it for every baby shower I attend. I would truly like to thank the Sears for all they have given us through this book...how wonderful it must be to have him as a pediatrician! Give this book a try...I doubt you will be sorry!
  
  
• An EXCELLENT book...
  By A1CXTVINR9453L on 2000-01-10
  My wife and I have used this book as a reference over and over again and I am always amazed at the relevance of the Sears' advice. But rather than go into specifics about the book's virtues (plenty of people have done that below), I would just like to comment on some of the negative criticism that other users have given this book. First of all, let me make it clear that (obviously) everyone is entitled to their opinions; I'm not trying to say that anyone HAS to like this (or any) book. But if you are going to publicly critique it, it's only fair that you present the information accurately and comment on real shortcomings, not imagined ones.

  A reader from Dallas states: "Use this book with great caution. If you want nightly habitual feedings, crying for response, and other stressful habits built into your child, use this book." That's pretty scary sounding, but let me present another scenario: My wife and I have let our child (now two years old) share the bed with us since he was born and it has been an unmitigated pleasure throughout. Except for rare occasions, he has always slept through the night, has never needed a bottle to get to bed, and has never shown any signs of being unusually "needy". Also, my wife did not have to get out of bed to breastfeed him when he was still feeding at night [Newsflash: Pretty much ALL babies feed during the night when they are very young infants - don't blame that on co-sleeping]. Now that my wife is pregnant again, we have transitioned him into his own room with absolutely no fuss. In contrast, my sister has never let her baby sleep in bed with her and the baby used to get up twice a night for a year and a half. The point is this: there is no right or wrong way, and there are no guarantees; babies are all very different, they're not little robots. We let our baby sleep with us because we LOVED it, and we will do it with our next one. The Sears state very clearly that you should do what you are comfortable with and that there is no right or wrong way. They just ask people to be OPEN to the idea of co-sleeping and to question those who so confidently state that it is wrong.

  [By the way, those who condemn it have zero scientific evidence to support their claim. Think about it: Modern day humans have been around for 2.5 million years. For 99% of that time we have been foragers and hunter-gatherers. Do you think we would have survived if sleeping with your children was "wrong"? Foraging and hunting tribes don't carry around cribs with them.]

  Anyway, my point is that the Sears definitely do NOT say that there is only one way to put your kid to sleep.

  A reader from New York asks: "Will co-sleeping wane in popularity as parents tire of sleeping with twin 5 years olds and an 8 year old and word gets around on the difficulty of ever getting the children out of your bed?"

  That's a good question. I have a few questions of my own. Have you ever tried it? Do you know for a fact that it is difficult to get kids out of bed and into their own beds? Do you think that the Sears really suggest that all of your kids should sleep in the parents' bed, regardless of age? Did you see the part in the book where they say that you should do what you are comfortable with and what makes the most sense to you?

  The bottom line is that the authors clearly and refreshingly state that mothers and fathers know a lot more about raising their children than they are given credit for. Rather than telling prospective parents that YOU MUST sleep with your baby or YOU MUST breastfeed, the overall effect of their book is to say YOU CAN sleep with your baby regardless of what society tells you and YOU CAN breastfeed if you want to maximize your baby's health and the bond between mother and child. Of course, no one HAS to do anything, but it's nice to have alternative sources of information.

  Thanks for listening.
  
  

• a fathers point of view
  By AEUAQR56VK5D5 on 2002-01-06
  As I strolled through the reviews of this book I noticed that very few comments were made by dads. Though many mothers have touted this as second to none for childrearing advice, it is a definite death nail to a marriage. My wife and I have watched several of our friends marriages fall apart from heeding the Sears' wisdom. First of all, a child should conform to your schedule, not the other way around. The relationship I have with my parents is wonderful and I can't imagine what it would have been like if I slept like a chastity belt between the two of them until I was 5 years old. Even introductory Psychology books will tell you that a child learns most of his/her values from his parents relationship. Once your child is sleeping with you, prepare for your husband to eventually migrate to the couch (this has happened to several of our friends) due to the childs need for more mattress real estate. Though the father may protest and attempt to plead his case on having the baby sleep in his/her own bed, expect mommy to recite many of the insightful passages from this wonderful guide to an early divorce. Once your baby realizes he/she holds the power over the parents relationship get ready for an incredibly hedonistic and selfish toddler. Also, prepare to explain the merits of sleeping in your own bed to a 5 year old that has spent their entire life connected to mommy at night. Once your child reaches adolesence, if they are like 90% of all teenagers they will naturally pull away from their parents to form their own identities. At this point you will then have the exciting job of trying to heal the marriage you abandoned 13 years earlier. It seems like many of the mothers giving this book glowing reviews have forgotten that babies grow up, leave the house, get married, and have their own families. If your husband has had to remain on the backburner to you and your childs relationship, expect him to feel unwanted and hurt. And if your husband eventually leaves from this lack of attention, don't expect your 20 year old son or daughter to curl up in bed with you at night to keep you company when your alone. This book pushes a husband and wife apart but definitely brings a mother and child closer. If you want more of an even balance of information try "What to Expect the First Year", it cites scientific studies along with great information for new parents. I can honestly tell you that I've seen this book do more harm than good to husbands and wives.
  
  
• Key word here is "attachment"
  By AL38MD60198IB on 2000-04-02
  I dislike this book, although I think it makes some great points about the benefits of such things as breastfeeding. I liked the Searses' book on birth as well: a great resource. Those 2 things being said, this book has a limited usefulness for parents who do not buy into the "attachment" theory of parenting, which my husband and I do not. In particular, I found their chapters on "wearing your baby" and "nighttime parenting" to be ridiculous. In my limited experience (1 child, 9 weeks old at this writing) wearing or carrying your baby around all day leads to an exhausted baby. This is because he hasn't been left alone to fall into deep sleep. The Searses discuss that babies light sleep for a period before deep sleep. What they fail to address is that if your baby is attached to you throughout the day he will keep waking up while in light sleep and never get to the deep sleep he needs. This results in a baby who is screamingly tired by the time you try to put him down at night. Now, just in time, the Searses expect you not to hope that your baby sleeps through the night, but instead to parent him through the night. This involves lots of getting up to spend time with him as he moves through light sleep and possibly opens one eye to see you hovering nearby. All of this certainly lets your child know that you can't live without him, but, as far as getting him the restful sleep he needs, I'm less certain it does the job. My 9 week old son, the kind of baby strangers on the street feel pressed to tell me looks so happy and alert, spent 3 weeks a la Sears, before we realized that none of us were sleeping enough to make 1 person rested. Now, 6 weeks later, he goes into his crib for each nap during the day and for his 7 hours of nighttime sleep with a smile. After playing and being snuggled by his parents for every waking moment, he yawns as we put him down, grateful that the grownups are leaving him to catch some rest. He wakes up cooing to himself, not crying. The Searses seem to think that any method other than theirs results in hours of listening to your baby cry in a fruitless effort to "train" him to sleep; this is not the case. It is also not true that the only babies that sleep through the night are in books; one is sitting next to me right now, listening to classical music and talking to his stuffed lamb. In conclusion, the Searses' parenting theory is not for everyone. If it doesn't work for you, don't be afraid to throw it out and try something new.
  
  
• Excellent book. If buying just one baby book - this is it.
  By on 1999-06-10
  I read through the other reviews. I am a full time working mom. I went back to work at 9 weeks. Because my child was MOSTLY bottle fed during her 3 week stay in the hospital after birth (She had meconium aspiration induced pneumonia), she ended up with nipple confusion. So i'd say she gets 50% breast milk and 50% formula. Yet, despite the fact that i'm a working mom who doesn't exclusively breastfeed, I did NOT find this book to be annoying or lacking in compassion. Sears paints one version of an ideal parenting style. I don't believe anyone has all the answers. We have to go by instinct, experience, and of course, solid sound advice. I follow attachment parenting as best I can under my particular circumstances, because my MOTHER did so. They didn't call it that in 1965, nor did they really advocate it - but she did it, and she continues to do it as my child's care provider during my work-day. I found Dr. sears's ideas to be a cold refreshing drink of water. He encouraged me to follow my instincts as a parent. So much of the literature that i've read has made me feel badly about things that instinctively seem *right* (co-sleeping, picking up baby whenever she cries, spending lots of time holding baby) and whenever I get into that funk, I pick up his book and I feel great. I think my sister brother and I are excellent products of attachment parenting. I hope my daughter feels that way about herself when she grows up!

  FWIW - I am a full time working mom who partially breastfeeds, and who is an atheist. Yet I am able to read through this book and find common ground without finding Sears to be judgemental or lacking in compassion.
  
  

• Oh please
  By on 2003-11-13
  I know this isn't a popular thing to say but I can't stand the Sears' advice. They seem to think the answer to all problems is either wearing your baby in a sling or breastfeeding. Gee, does it ever occur to them that most women in America have to work. Many of my friends who read this book ended up feeling guilty and that their children were going to grow up to be horrible people if they didn't breastfeed them until they are old enough to go to college. Breastfeeding is unquestionably the best way to go but the Sears' fanaticism is terrible. And, of course babies need to be close to and held by their caregivers as much as possible, but the non-stop advice to "wear" babies is pretty unrealistic for most people.

  The good advice is on developmental issues like walking, crawling, toys etc., But, get the American Pediatrics Association Guide instead for good, sound advice on raising healthy happy babies (including plenty of information and help on breastfeeding).
  
  

• Did Mrs. Sears Ever Sleep?
  By AHZ3CPTG7HBKD on 2005-08-29
  My son is now 8 months old and I haven't cracked this book open in 6 months because I got so annoyed with it. I found the tone to be condescending and the advice to be somewhat questionable.
  
  My first beef with the book was the breastfeeding section. I read it several times before and after my son was born and it gave me no useful advice. They act as though the child hurls itself onto your breast and gets down to business. They give no advice for serious breastfeeding problems (which I come to find out most women have some). And to top it off they act as though you're abusing your child if you don't breastfeed them. They honestly say that if you don't breastfeed your child they won't turn out to be as intelligent as other children. GIVE ME A BREAK! Their comments trying to guilt mothers into breastfeeding actually made me quite angry. If you are unable to breastfeed for some medical (or adoptive) reason the last thing you need is their condescending attitude telling you as a result you're going to have a stupid child. On a side-note when I was having a horrible time feeding my son and I cried to my mother that Dr. Sears said he was going to grow up stupid if I fed him formula, my mother laughed and laughed because the only one of her 5 child who didn't breastfeed was my sister who ended up being valedictorian. The rest of us breastfeed children did not fair so well!
  
  Another thing that REALLY bothered me about this book was the idea of co-sleeping with your baby. I think this is a horrible idea for many reasons and my pediatrician completely agrees. First off, what a major SIDS risk. You spend all this time fixing up their crib with snug fitting sheets, no stuffed animals and no quilts and then you plop them down in your bed with big pillows, comforters and two heavy bodies? Give me a break. I think it's completely irresponsible for a doctor to advocate such a dangerous practice.
  
  Oh, and on the co-sleeping thing, I know two different families who followed his advice and have preschool children they still can't get out of their beds. That's not a healthy environment for the child or the parent. Children need to learn independence and parents do need alone time. I'm actually shocked the Sears' could breed so much when their bed was obviously full of children!
  
  Another problem I have with the Sears' philosophy is that they don't advocate that children learn to go to sleep on their own (in their own bed or not). They are crazy to suggest that children will one day just announce they're now going to sleep on their own. The longer you let the co-sleeping and rocking to sleep go on, the harder it is to stop it. Finally when my son was 8 months old I read a book that told me how to let them cry themselves to sleep. One 45 minute cry before a nap and now he completely goes to sleep on his own. He has learned independence (that is not a bad thing, Dr. Sears) and it gives me a well-needed break. And the fact that he can now put himself back to sleep if he wakes up mid-nap has made him a much happier and well-rested child.
  
  I have to seriously wonder how much input Mrs. Sears *really* had in this book. I have a feeling that she let her husband tell her how to raise their children even though he didn't participate. Maybe after he left for work she didn't actually do the things he told her to! No one can remain sane and do the things he claims his wife did for 8 children. I only hope that once she's finished raising her children, he gives her some time to rest!!
  
  Don't buy this book unless you sew your own clothes, churn your own butter and want to accomplish nothing else EVER in your life EXCEPT being a mother. If you live in the real world and want to maintain your relationship with your husband and have your own interests and hobbies, buy a book that gives practical advice for raising strong, independent children who have happy, well-rounded AND loving mothers. I recommend the American Academy of Pediatrics, Caring For Your Baby and Young Child book. It gives you the facts without all the lecturing.
  
  
  
• Just know what you're buying!
  By on 2000-04-16
  You know what they say about ducks -- if it looks like one and quacks like one...

  Well, this book looks like a reference book and the cover quacks like a reference book, but it's not a reference book. It is an advocacy manual for a very specific type of parenting, one that most parents find well outside the mainstream.

  Dr. Sears and his wife are the gurus of "attachment parenting," which advocates putting your baby at the epicenter of the universe... sleeping with him, wearing him around in a sling all day, breastfeeding him every time he whimpers. This all starts from point zero. Natural childbirth and rooming in in the hospital.

  The Searses don't cotton much to anyone who thinks differently, and that's what really got me. I saw Dr. Sears on a story on ABC News' 20/20. HE had NO humility. There was no softness, no possibility that other ways of doing things might be okay. He said that children raised by attachment methods would be less likely than their "non attachment" counterparts to take part in an incident like Columbine High. Rhetoric and demagoguery like that is normally reserved for politicians, not pediatricians. It was unsuitable and opportunistic, and implicitly condemned all those who parent in a way differently from his method. To the Sears' cultish thinking, any behavior such as letting your child cry it out a bit when he needs to get to sleep, will lead down a horrible slippery slope to terrible detachment from your child. The "detachment snowball," he calls it. Gasp.

  Supporters of Dr. Sears and his wife love to claim that they are experts because he has eight kids. Well, I don't know his kids. And I know lots of good kids who've been raised in a more moderate fashion by parents who don't need to learn how to parent from a book, and they turned out fine. Not a one of them shooting up a school or anything. Whatever would the Searses think of that?
  
  

• Great Ideas but PLEASE get other views as well
  By A1S5JH05DBLEBG on 2004-03-11
  I started my pregnancy with the Dr. Sears pregnancy book and also read the breastfeeding book and I loved his natural, gentle approach to everything so I registered for The Baby Book. I devoured this book and loved everything I read. I felt so confident going into parenthood! Then I had my baby and I was shocked to find I was completely unprepared in some ways. I followed some dangerous advice about not supplementing her with formula while my milk was coming in and she ended up in the hospital dehydrated and with dangerously low blood sugar. The day we left the hospital I bought the American Academy of Pediatrics book "Caring for Your Baby and Young Child," and this is my new bible for illnesses in my baby. It is much more thorough, and I feel comfortable knowing this is what is reccomended by a community of professionals instead of one Dr with one philosophy. Another example, we tried the family bed until she was five months and we never let her cry for a second. At four months old she was fussy, clingy, and was sleeping less that ten hours a day. I finally broke down and bought "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." After some gentler approaches and limited crying it out she will only sleep through the night (12 hours) in her own bed because our moving wakes her, and she gets about 13-15 hours of sleep a day. She is happy every morning and much more playful and engaging, and our bond is even stronger. My point is that you really need to find your own approach to problem solving the ups and downs of parenthood, and this book will only present you with one method. I still practice attachment parenting, but I also respect my child's needs to sleep and to play on her own. I love Dr. Sears and Martha's loving approach to parenthood, but I have developed my own loving approach now thanks to the input I have gained from other professionals in the field.
  
  
• This Book Is Ruining Our Families
  By on 2000-06-01
  This book is rubbish. Sleeplessness among new parents has reached epidemic proportions in the U.S. because of the Sears' "attachment parenting" technique. Even in the workplace, it has become acceptable for dads to come in late or call in sick because they are suffering from a socially acceptable form of sleep deprivation. Attachment parenting is the reason so many millions of new parents don't get any sleep. This book is the reason why millions of eight-month olds are still waking up every two hours, and why millions of sleep-deprived moms meet in "moms groups" all over the country and on-line, groaning about how tired they are and how they just aren't enjoying being moms. This book is the reason why harmony is no longer part of the home when the baby enters the family. This book is bad for public health.

  Because of "attachment parenting", you can no longer eat in peace at a restaurant next to a family with a baby or toddler. The parenting technique described in this book is dangerous to children's social development and ultimately dangerous to society. In recent years people have begun to dislike being around other people's children or babies because children are such brats now, thanks to "attachment parenting". It's almost a given that if you have a baby you're getting no sleep, or if you have a toddler you cannot possibly bring him anywhere. This book explains exactly how to raise a spoiled, ungrateful, demanding brat who will never appreciate anything you've done for him. Please, please, PLEASE do not subscribe to the quackery in this book or any attachment parenting book. Read Babywise or any of James Dobson's books. The rhetoric in the Sears' book, with the exception of their pro-breastfeeding approach, is downright dangerous.

  I am a natural childbirth advocate, breastfeeding advocate, and cloth diaper advocate. I had a beautiful home birth, but I put my baby on a schedule right away and she is the most happy baby most people have ever seen. People can't believe it when they see her, and she has slept peacefully through the night since seven weeks. Our home is harmonious and filled with happiness. We do not need to have our precious daughter physically attached to us at all times to give her love and all the care she needs. Love for children is spiritual too, not just physical. She is loved and KNOWS she is loved, sleeping peacefully in her crib just down the hall, while my husband and I enjoy long nights of uninterrupted sleep.

  If you follow the advice in "The Baby Book", your life at home with baby will quickly become a living hell, and I can promise you that you won't want to have any more children. I'm sure William and Martha Sears had hired help.

  If you raise your kids this way, they will some day be sitting on a psychiatrist's couch at age 30 saying that their parents didn't give them any coping skills.

  If third world countries know best how to raise babies, why aren't they the leaders of the free world?
  
  

• A Baby Care Guide with Preachy Attitude
  By on 2001-02-12
  Although we very much subscribe to the attachment parenting principles outlined by Dr. Sears in this guide, we were irritated by the preachy undertone throughout this book. Dr. Sears is working against 50+ years of conventional "wisdom" about child-rearing and that may account for some of the book's self-righteous tendencies, but after awhile a person gets tired of being scolded. Some of his science is questionable (for example, "women have 'mothering hormones' and 'sex hormones'"). I also believe he puts WAY too much pressure on already stressed-out mothers, while letting fathers off the hook. While he makes a few token nods to involved fatherhood, the emphasis throughout is mother, mother, mother. Some of his suggestions are also flat-out unrealistic (e.g., wear your baby in a sling several hours per day--I have a bad back, and my baby does just fine in a stroller). And, if you've ever been through labor and delivery, his scenario for the "good childbirth" is a joke (and obviously written by a man, who will never have a labor pain in his life). Early in my mothering career, Sears' advice had me so panicked about responding quickly to my baby that I once ignored an urge to use the bathroom myself before nursing him. Well, you can imagine the result, and it was not pretty. After that I realized I had to trust myself more and the "experts" less. I'm educated and intelligent and resent Sears' "talking-down" approach, and my husband feels left out by Dr. Sears' ignorance of the father's role. In short? Buy Brazelton or something else instead. This book makes a great case for attachment parenting, which I believe in, but when I want a quick reference answer to a parenting question, I want it without preachy attitude--even when it is an attitude I agree with.
  
  
• The Guilt Trip Book
  By on 2003-01-14
  I started reading The Baby Book a couple of months before my son was born, and convinced myself that I was going to be the "perfect" attachment-parenting mother. I was going to breastfeed, carry my baby constantly, respond to his cries before they became REAL cries and sleep with him for as long as he wanted.

  The book convinced me that anyone who didn't do all of the above either wasn't a very good parent or wasn't trying hard enough.

  When my baby was born, reality hit. We started our lives together with an emergency C-section delivery (and painful recovery). Next, the baby refused to nurse (and lost 20% of his birth weight in four days because I wouldn't give in and feed him formula). Then, my husband and I realized that neither of us could sleep for fear of squashing the baby in our bed, nor could we realistically respond to every grimmace and cry and expect to actually accomplish anything--such as eating, peeing or sleeping--let alone cooking or vacuuming or heaven forbid, going back to work.

  I eventually won the struggle over breastfeeding, but not without going through a lot of guilty feelings that if he never latched on, it would ruin his life and our bond.

  This book contains a wealth of basic information about baby's basic needs. Unfortunately, it's mixed in with a lot of preaching about how only attachment style parents can have a good bond with their kids. If the attachment style doesn't fit your lifestyle, this book will only leave you feeling like a failure as a parent.
  
  

• Good book to peruse, but not useful over time
  By on 1999-10-08
  This book certainly polarizes people! I found that though I enjoyed getting certain information, after one read-through I never looked at the book again. The problem was that so much of the book was used not to impart information but to serve as a soapbox for the Sears' philosophy. Their philosophy ("Attachment Parenting") carries in its very name a censorious tone toward those who don't abide by its principles. Though the Sears' are discreet enough not to name and discuss the alternative, "Detachment Parenting", clearly many people reviewing below feel that anyone who doesn't raise children by their views is an "escape parent". This includes working mothers, mothers who don't breast feed, mothers who don't sleep with their children, etc.

  It will be fun to look back in 25 or 30 years and see what has become of the "Attachment Parenting" fad. Will co-sleeping wane in popularity as parents tire of sleeping with twin 5 years olds and an 8 year old and word gets around on the difficulty of ever getting the children out of your bed? Will wearing babies in slings become as common as strollers are today?

  Clearly this topic arouses strong passions. But so many people think other parents don't care about their children if they don't parent them the same way. I have yet to talk to another parent who doesn't show great love and concern for her child, though we certainly all choose different paths in raising them. Parents (and especially mothers) do not need to be bashed for every decision they make. It is hard to admit that wonderful kids grow up in very screwy homes and weird and unpleasant kids grow up in nice stable loving homes. (But note below how many people take all the credit if their child is well-behaved! What paragon parents they are! The child was an empty vessel, I suppose.) And it is ahistorical nonsense to say that all the rest of the world sleeps in the same bed except the U.S., as does someone on 4/5/99. Actually the majority of the world (a slim majority) sleep in the same room, but a much smaller number of these sleep in the same bed. And let's see -- can we think of any reason many cultures tend to share the same room? How many rooms are in the average Chinese home? But even then most parents don't take their children into bed with them. Co-sleeping is often a sign of parental need, not children's need.

  "Attachment Parenting" is one option for raising secure, loved children, not the only option. And we should all beware of anyone using the word "natural" when it comes to motherhood, as the Sears book does throughout. In 17th century Paris, 90% of the babies were sent out of the city to live and be nursed, and were only returned to their parents when they'd grown out of toddlerhood. This was the norm, considered natural. In many cultures (could it be the same ones so roundly praised for sleeping together?) infanticide is common and always has been. How natural!

  I expected more medical information from this book and less proselytizing for a particular type of child rearing. For medical advice the AAP Guide to the First Five Years is great. And if you want to read an excellent book of child raising philosophy from a Dr. who has actually studied children over decades, and even notes if he ever makes a recommendation that he has not seen proven scientifically, read Dr. Burton White's New First Three Years of Life. At least you'll know it isn't all opinion and prejudice when you read his advice. (The Sears book is quite skimpy on back up for their opinions.) Of course, we all rely on instinct a lot, so for the people who already want to do what Dr. Sears recommends then this book is the reinforcement they are seeking. But when someone below refers to "Copout Parenting", it makes me think of parents who won't do anything that causes THEM discomfort. No wonder there are so many spoiled little lovies who think the world revolves around them. Discipline is painful for all involved and copout parents don't make the grade in that dept. no matter what their parenting philosophy.
  
  

• Sears Lack Solid Evidence for Their Approach
  By A3QVONJ62FLX4E on 2003-02-05
  Attachment parenting, advocated by the Sears, is a personal philosophy. It is not a scientifically proven superior way to raise children. The major flaw of this book is the lack of evidence in two areas (1) the long-term advantages of attachment parenting, and (2) the superiority of parenting styles in traditional cultures. Parents may be misled if they believe their children will be happier later in life, or that they will cry less if they use this technique. Worse, they may feel misled in 15-20 years when their child develops depression or fails to graduate from high school.

  As a researcher trained to evaluate medical studies, I look carefully at any advice that starts with "Studies show..." Does attachment parenting reduce the probability of developing depression later in life? In fact, we do not fully know for sure what causes most mental illnesses, criminal behavior, or even colic. It is true that a child abused or neglected child may have a higher probability of having emotional problems later in life --- but there is a big difference between neglect and putting your baby in a crib or stroller.

  My field is not child development, but judging by the number of books on babies we need more research on how different parenting styles in loving, two-parent homes affect children (schedule vs. no schedule etc). But this is difficult. One of the reasons is that it is hard to do really good research on babies or to 'randomize' babies to one intervention or another, and there are so many factors involved.

  The second weakness of this book is that, like many baby books (see also `The Happiest Baby on the Block),' it portrays childrearing in other countries as being more natural, without backing up this claim.

  Are mothers in more `traditional' cultures more connected to their babies? Would women in more traditional cultures choose attachment parenting if they had a choice? What if attachment parenting is necessary for survival in developing countries, or a result of very different work and home lives? I grew up in a developing country. Among people living in traditional villages or in poverty in the cities, many children die of disease, something we should not forget. In many cases, women have to carry their babies around because they must work in manual jobs (like construction, or agriculture) to have enough to eat, and they cannot afford childcare, or there may be no reliable childcare. As soon as babies can walk they often help their parents do their jobs like carrying bricks or water. If they can afford to not work outside the home, maybe women stay close to their children because they do not have baby-proof homes (cooking over a fire is pretty dangerous). Maybe they sleep with babies because the family can only afford one bed, or because this is the only way to keep warm. I do know that in India, wealthier people often employ ayahs (nannies) to care for their children. Finally, in many 'traditional' cultures, babies and children are much more routinely punished for crying with physical abuse. Traditional is not always better.

  Read this book if you think it sounds like the way you want to raise your children, but not because it is an authority or a proven or only way to raise babies.
  
  

• I followed Dr. Sears' advice -- what a mistake!
  By on 1999-12-04
  Although on medical matters this book seems perfectly valid, I think Dr. Sears should stop pretending that Attachment Parenting is so great. That is only his opinion and not a medical one at that. I took his advice to try Co-Sleeping,also known as the Family Bed. What a mistake! It should be called "Lying Down with your Child Until He Falls Asleep" because that is what this practice turns into! My son used to sleep alone, but now that he's had all this co-sleeping he requires my physical presence to fall asleep, which sometimes takes an hour. When he awakes he needs me with him to fall asleep again. This means every nap and every night! I don't have household help like the eminent author and don't have time to spend half my day in bed trying to help my child sleep. This problem has happened to other parents I know who practice the Family Bed. Why doesn't Dr. Sears even mention this problem or how to deal with it? I won't follow his advice on this matter again. My future children will learn to sleep on their own unless Dr. Sears wants to pay for my housekeeper.
  
  
• Romantic parenting: Beware of feeling guilty
  By A3SU9CYUVQG9A8 on 2002-10-28
  Few parents can live up to the ideal that the Sears advocate. They recommend what they call "Attachment Parenting" that is: we stay connected to our babies 24 hours per day in order to help them feel secure after leaving the womb. During the day, they recommend we "wear" the baby in a sling and at night we sleep with her next to our body. In between, we should breastfeed and snuggle with her.

  I have met many well-adjusted, happy chidren and adults who were not raised by parents following the Sears method. So I am sceptical of the book's validity. I think the book appeals to our desire to escape modern life and parent our babies in a blissful natural way. We all want to create a beautiful secure nest for our special loved one. Sears claim they know how to do this and will make you feel you are going to short-change your baby if you don't follow their path.

  If the book's philosopy appeals to you, buy it. Just don't let it make you feel guilty if you can't live up to the ideal. Your baby is probably still going to get all the love and attention she needs even if you aren't always attached.

  Sears and Sears claim that modern childrearing is new, an experiment and even unnatural. They claim that we should look to tradional societies for child-rearing advice (without ever showing any proof that children raised in those societies are better adjusted.) They say that their style of "Attachment Parenting" is how traditional societies today (those that anthropologists study such as indian tribes)and our foremothers parented for thousands of years. So, based on their experiences and tradition, we should all practice this type of parenting.

  The problem is that we live in a very different world than tradional societies. Although this book is very popular, I wonder how many parents actually follow the advice in it. I have yet to see anyone carrying their baby in a Sear and Sears type sling. I tried it and my baby cries about half the time she is in it. I don't know anyone who carries their baby all day.

  I am skeptical of Sears and Sears advice that parents should sleep with the baby next to them in their bed. I know parents who do it that live chaotic, stressful lives with neither the baby or the parents getting much sleep. I know parents who put their babies in cribs, in a nursury down the hall, who are calm and rested with sleeping babies. (What works for us is: One of us sleeps in the same room with the baby. We have our baby in a box in the bed or in the crib.) Some studies have shown an increase in SIDS when babies sleep with parents and there have been deaths due to parents rolling over on their infants.

  The Sears and Sears approach is their own philosophy and is not for everyone. It is not based on lots of studies but on their own limited experience. They have very strong opinions on breastfeeding and call formula feeding "an experiment". They imply that you are taking a grave risk by formula feeding your infant. They compare formula to an experimental drug. While studies show that breastfeeding is much better than formula feeding, they certaining don't show that formula feeding is a big risk.

  In some places, Sears and Sears give advice that goes contrary to what other experts say. For example, in several places they mention putting babies to sleep on their stomachs. Yet experts worldwide advise us to put babies to sleep on their backs because it is proven to reduce the risk if Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

  The book provides lots of helpful advice on the basics of infant care so in that respect it is useful. But, there are many books that do that such as "The Mother of all Baby Books". I wouldn't recommend the Sears and Sears book because I thought their philosphy of childrearing was biased and will needlessly make most parents feel guilty because they don't live up to the ideal.
  
  

• A method is a method is attachment parenting...
  By on 2002-12-07
  I decided to write a review of this book because I have just visited again the friend who gave it to me. She is crazy about the book and gives it to every pregnant friend she has. My friend and her husband are both large, but her 19-month-old daughter is so underweight (20 pounds) that she resembles an orphan in Delhi. My friend says, "At least I know she's getting all the nutrition she needs, because she's breastfeeding." In fact, her daughter still breastfeeds several times a night and probably doesn't eat enough solids during the day. The child also becomes a bit hysterical when she is not within a few feet of Mommy.
  This shows the problem of going crazy about this parenting method. Children do not come with instructions and there are no manuals. This book tries to be one, and too many people accept it as such because it's very comforting to think, "I know what to do because Dr.Sears said it." If you are a new parent or mom-to-be, my advice would be to use your own instincts and not a "method". A great book that answers real, relevant questions without preaching any set way is "What to Expect the First Year".

  That is mainly what I wanted to say, but if you'd like to read more, I can tell you one reason why I didn't like the book from the very first time I read it:
  
  You have to wonder why William Sears wrote the book and not his wife. The monster burden of the parenting style Sears advocates is placed on the mother, and yet the book is written by a man. Martha doesn't have time to write books, but her husband does, even though he is also a doctor and has eight children. Alarm bells started to ring in my head. Men have been child-rearing "experts" on paper for a long time, but men spend less time in the trenches, so to speak. Sears apparently lets his wife do 99.9% of the baby work, and then pretends to be an expert. Typical.
  I had a few other reservations about the book upon first reading it, but I won't get into them. I'll just say that our 6-month-old son is a fabulous little guy. And we haven't used any "method" but our own.
  
  

• Not for every parent
  By on 2002-09-08
  Just a word of warning before you buy this book, it is extremely pro-breastfeeding and might make moms of bottlefed infants feel guilty. I wasn't aware that the authors favored the family bed approach either, which I disagree with. I almost felt I should feel bad for making my baby sleep in her own crib. Also, they recommend buying a sling for baby to be carted around all day. I understand babies, especially newborns, should be held a lot, but toting around an 8 month old ALL day seems a little extreme to me. This book is the opposite of Gary Ezzo's Babywise approach, which I also find fault with. I really recommend What to Expect the First Year, which is not so biased.
  This book does have excellent information on caring for a newborn, infant development and common health problems. Unless you are parent that shares the same views as the Sears', you might not want to read it. It left me feeling inadequate for not breastfeeding a full year and selfish for not taking my child to bed with me. I know I am doing a good job raising my child but others may not be as confident.
  
  
• The Negative Reviewers DIDN'T read the book
  By A2TADAZW10RV0D on 2005-01-21
  As far as I can tell, the people who have negatively reviewed this book haven't actually read it or are actively trying to spread inaccuracies about it. Perhaps they are referring to much older editions of this book. But a number of negative reviews here suggest things that are simply NOT true.
  
  For example: Yes, Dr. Sears recommends breast-feeding, as does pretty much every health organization and doctor around the world. One reviewer suggests that readers will feel guilty for not breast-feeding because Dr. Sears is so strident in his support of it. Fact - the book contains 2 chapters on breast-feeding explaining why it is the healthiest choice and how to do it successfully. The book ALSO contains a FULL CHAPTER on how to BOTTLE-FEED safely and lovingly if breast-feeding is not right for you. I guess you could say he should have devoted equal time to both so no one would feel bad but the reality is that bottle-feeding comes fairly easy to everyone; breast-feeding does not.
  
  One father complains that the book suggests his ONLY role as a father is supportive. The quote he gives is taken OUT OF CONTEXT. The quote refers to a father's role in breast-feeding not in the overall care of the baby (sorry fathers breast-feeding is something you just can't do!). The reviewer suggests that the father's role is only referred to on a few pages of a huge book. This is simply NOT true. Every section of the book (including the breast-feeding section) comments on the father's role. Dr. Sears goes as far as suggesting that the father as well as the mother should touch the baby soon after birth to encourage bonding. He also recommends that both parents take time off of work when the baby is first born.
  
  Another suggestion is that Dr. Sears doesn't support a working-mother yet there is a whole chapter devoted to working-mothers. There are also stories of different ways that mothers (including Mrs. Sears) have incorporated the "attachment" approach to child-rearing and working.
  
  This book is about a particular parenting philosophy called "attachment." It includes information about how to raise your child following that philosphy. Some of the ideas in the book may not work for you and your family and Dr. Sears allows for this often in the book. He states clearly over and over that you don't HAVE to follow ALL the recommendations.
  
  The complaints about this book seem to be by people who only glanced through it or who expected to find a book that supported every decision they had already made on how to raise their child.
  
  This is an EXCELLENT book that supports a caring, warm, and natural method of baby-raising. It is very detailed and well-researched.
  
  If you already have your own parenting philosophy that excludes breast-feeding, picking up your baby when it cries, sleeping with your baby, and carrying and touching your baby as much as possible, then this book is probably not for you. But that doesn't make it a flawed book.
  
  
  
  
• Parent by their principles, not all the details
  By A3KOE23N2B4YU3 on 2004-06-28
  I'm a full-time working mom of a 2.5 year old, incredible boy.
  Initially when I read Sears my reaction was that to be a good parent I would have to quit working, spend my whole day breastfeeding and wearing my baby and never get a solid's night sleep again. (And, I've have to grind my own wheat, grow my organic vegetables and move to an unpolluted island...well, not quite, but that seemed to be the general drift.)

  But, what the Sear's approach or Attachment Parenting approach to me comes down to this:

  Know your baby.
  Respond to your baby's cues.

  Understand that your baby isn't a mini-adult who just happens to live in a diaper. Understand that your child comes with his own personality and developmental timetable. Understand that when he cries he needs you. Understand that cuddling, holding, touching your baby is good for him and is not "spoiling" him. Understand that being given a brand new soul to nurture can be exhausting, but that everything you do which demonstrates empathy will come back to you 10 fold in the bond you will have with your child.

  I do wish that the AP "movement" was less associated with "crunchy granola" types of parents. AP (and the Sears as the best known proponents) is really doing what comes naturally: We are hardwired to pick up our babies and care for them when they cry. We are hardwired to feel the intense desire to protect them from discomfort. This isn't a "movement" this is how we are made, and Mother (and Father) Nature are brillant!
  
  

• New parents -- stay away from this book!
  By A2XNMS1OC4U975 on 2004-03-02
  I agree wholeheartedly with the other reviewers who state that this book is self-righteous and guilt-inducing. Like another reviewer I am also a licensed psychologist. As a social scientist and clinician I am appalled that the authors would make such provocative statements (e.g. about attachment, sleep sharing, "wearing your baby" etc.) with no scientific research to support their claims. New parents (and experienced parents) are sleep-deprived and anxious enough without being told that if they let their babies cry it out they will damage them. Where is the research to support this? Other books have cited rigorous scientific research showing that crying it out helps babies learn to sleep well! I have no doubt that the authors have some expertise in raising children based on raising their own 8 children and their clinical training and experience. However making claims about attachment theory seems quite far out of their purview. Their rigidity and sanctimoniousness about their point of view with no research support truly renders this book worthless.
  
  
• My Instincts Suggest That Much of This Advice Is Wrong
  By A2EBDF7CWUQBGQ on 2005-10-31
  The authors do not give unbiased medical or parenting information -- they are advocates for a particular style of raising children. To their credit, they do say "trust your instincts".
  
  My instincts remind me that I and my husband were not breastfed, slept in cribs and spent time in playpens -- like most of our generation. Vs. 30 years ago, children today have a much higher incidence of a whole host of illnesses (asthma, allergies, ear infections, etc.), cognitve difficulties (autism, ADD) and behavioral problems (diagnosed to the just plain bratty). I believe that most parents desperately want to do what's right by their children. I don't think this book helps that cause. Raising children today is scary and I wish that the authors and other parenting "experts" could leave their agenda aside, do some solid research based on current conditions and then give advice.
  
  The other thing I find odd is the presumption that everything that my parents and all the parents in their generation did was wrong. I think that I am OK, I really love my husband, and I think my friends are just great. What was so bad about the way the way we were raised? Why is all of the advice to look to our peer group? What about our parents?
  
  A secondary matter is the authors' reference to historical and third world parenting practices. I've spent a lot of time in third world countries and seen "attachment parenting" in practice -- women at work in the fields with babies slung on their backs. These women are not "listening to their babies cues", they are earning $1 per day working in the hot sun while their baby languishes in a piece of cloth on their back. My instinct says that privileged parents shouldn't glorify this experience. Also, surely the way children are raised contributes to the overall society, culture, economy. While I have learned much from my travels, I don't think it makes much sense to emulate child-raising practices from under-developed countries. Identifying particular practices for a well-founded reason, sure. But because "it's done in Africa" is not a reason when everyone is spending so much time figuring out how to fix Africa.
  
  
  
  
• I thought this book would be wonderful....
  By on 2000-01-11
  but I ended up throwing it away in frustration. Nothing in this book seemed to work and my baby constantly seemed out of sorts and fussy. Finally, at the advice of my pediatrician, I put him on a flexible schedule of eating and sleeping and playtime and he is thriving. He sleeps through the night, eats well and is a happy, easy-going child. My little one is so interested in everything around him that he would never sleep unless I had trained him to (as outlined in tne American Academy of Pediatric Caring for your Child from Birth to Five years.) I'm not sure how you can raise a child without ever letting him cry a little or ever putting him down. Yes, at certain times of the day, I did carry him (I used a Baby Bjorn rather than a sling)and that really soothed him, but I don't think it is necessary to always carry him. Maybe this works for some families, but our family needed a little structure for the good of the whole family.
  
  
• Disappointing!
  By A1R7ZQJV5ETM83 on 2002-01-02
  While this book has helpful aspects, my main complaint is that one cannot distinguish the advice that is based on medical-research findings from the advice that is PURELY THE AUTHORS' OPINIONS. The book has ZERO references and states many things as "fact" that I know are not.

  For example, on p. 12 the "Benefits of Attachment Parenting" (attachment parenting is a main theme of this book) include the baby growing better, learning language more easily, etc. Later in the book, it is even suggested that attachment parenting will raise your child's IQ.

  I have studied Child Psychology at the graduate level and I have never heard of any studies supporting these claims. The listed benefits of attachment parenting are, therefore, only the authors' IMPRESSIONS and OPINIONS. This is fine, but this should be made more clear.

  Because the benefits of attachment parenting are discussed as if they are fact, then what else in the book is also merely these authors' opinions? I am left wondering how much I can trust them.
  
  

• Wanna Feel Bad? BUY THIS BOOK!
  By A3EZTZ509NIF58 on 2004-03-01
  I read and re-read this book for about the first 2 weeks of my son's life! I felt SOOO stressed out about absolutely EVERYTHING that I couldn't sleep even WHEN the baby was sleeping!
  Wearing your baby? GREAT IDEA (sometimes)
  Sleep with your baby? Not if you want to sleep!
  Feed them EVERYTIME THEY CRY? Super unless they just ate 5 minutes ago and you are frantically trying to figure out what is the matter with the poor little thing!
  Some other advice:
  "Don't pen me up!" Don't put your child in a playpen unless it is for safety...like when you get a hot dish out of the oven.
  Every time they cry, PICK THEM UP! EVERYTIME! If you don't, your own PRECIOUS little child will NOT KNOW THAT YOU LOVE THEM!
  Like you needed some more guilt here, RIGHT?
  Feeling worried about WHAT TO EXPECT? Feeling like you want some advice? Well...if you read this book you will see that your life will NVER BE PREDICTABLE AGAIN! And that this is the BEST WAY to raise your child...
  It is almost like...the more hectic your life is? The better mother you are!
  I don't need this!
  I thought FOR SURE that my child was unhappy because i was doing something wrong! AND I TRIED AND TRIED to do what these people suggested...I held him all of the time...wore him in a sling...breast fed him ALL OF THE TIME...let him sleep with us in our bed.. GOOD GRIEF!
  My husband finally asked me WHERE IN THE WORLD I WAS GETTING ALL OF THIS INFORMATION~ And when I showed him the book, and he read it, he suggested a sacrificial BURNING of it in the back yard!
  The book has some REALLY VALUABLE information about illnesses, emergencies and what to expect developmentally and physically about your baby..BUT THAT IS ALL!

  Like I said before, if you want to go on the mommy guilt trip train...READ THIS BOOK!
  Right after you have your baby, you might find yourself feeling particularly open to suggestions that you would have found "goofy" at another time! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO DOUBT YOUR IDEAS ABOUT CHILD REARING! If you are someone who would normally think these ideas are a little OVER THE TOP...be forwarned...at your moment of hormonal weekness...you too may succomb to the COMPLETE BRAIN WASHING of this "BOOK".

  Talk to your friends, find someone who has the kind of relationship with their baby that you want to have..and then get their suggestions!
  Find a different book! Enjoy your child! Enjoy your life! Be close to your child when you want to be and when they need you! But be yourself too! It is possible to have a VERY HAPPY BABY sitting in a bouncy seat watching you cook dinner. YOU DON't HAVE TO WEAR THEM IN A SLING AND BREAST FEED THEM HALF OF YOUR LIFE TO MAKE THEM HAPPY!!!
  
  

• The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)
• The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer
• The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
• What to Expect the First Year
• The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby